What do you do when you need to find some good stars for your upcoming porn film, but are too cheap to put a free ad on Craigslist? Hang a flier on a pole in Bushwick, of course. And to maximize responses, just leave space at the bottom for everyone interested in starring in your low-budget fuckfest to write in their name, "Length, Girth," and email or Myspace address. Don't worry, your friends will respect you in the morning. It's a perfect opportunity for you indie rock kids in "Bushdick" to earn some extra cash between jobs. Click through for a bigger picture, and to read the enticing pitch:

AngryJournalist.com, the rant-based website that serves as an online barometer of the journalism zeitgeist, has started selling t-shirts. Why is this bad? Well, it means that the site's founders have been thus far unable to properly monetize their online content. Of course, they're journalists (not really, but it sounds better)! Coincidentally, that's about the level of insider joke that you'll find on their t-shirts, as well. Still, we'll be buying the "Print Is Dead" one for Nick Denton to wear triumphantly to media parties. Click through for a few more examples, or visit the crotchety store here.

The Washington Post has fired a young reporter named Michael Tunison after he disclosed that he wrote for a sports blog on the side, and, additionally, may have been drunk at some point in his life. This is obviously behavior incompatible with his key newsroom position, "which included some reporting and writing and some clerical work in the Montgomery County bureau." You can just imagine the vast logistical difficulties that his newly revealed identity as a football fan would pose in his suburban newsgathering duties. Our jock-following colleague at Deadspin gently mocks the WP for being hypocritical and, frankly, stupid about the internet, but we say: kudos, Post. Your actions help give all bloggers something to make fun of. After the jump, a screengrab of the blog post (and drunky pic) with which Tunison "brought discredit to the paper":

Employment opportunity: 5WPR is looking for an HR director! I wonder if that's because incompetent superflack and 5W CEO Ronn [sic] Torossian fired his last HR director, filed a lawsuit against her, called her a "STUPID CUNT," and scared off potential clients? Well it could be anything, really. Good HR directors are hard to find! The full job ad is below, so apply right now.

Incompetent and angry superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian and his agency, 5WPR, are all about creating powerful connections among the real movers and shakers in New York. So if you're a client or "FRIEND OF THE FIRM"—and if you are, you have some serious self-examination to do—you're invited to a special 5WPR Speaker Series event featuring Dr. Keith Ablow, succinctly described on his website as a "Forensic psychiatrist and author of thrillers." His topic for the evening? "Friction in the workplace and the necessity for conflict/resolution and chemistry building." What better subject for a night with Ronn, a man popular with employees, potential clients, the media, and feminists alike? Anyone lucky enough to attend this ironic event, please send us a report. The full—and predictably ineloquent—invitation is below.

A former Starbucks employee named Mary-Elise Smilek says she was fired after four years with the company, just because she couldn't attend last month's mandatory 3-hour retraining session/ PR stunt. She had a midterm to study for. Harsh! Now she's the subject of much debate among the bored employees and company drones at the Starbucks Gossip blog. Some say she's a hoax; some say she's a victim; and the most hardcore corporate robots say: she got what she deserved for not completely dedicating her life to the Starbucks cause!

Does your company need a jolt? Have you frequently said to yourself, "We could get back on track if only we could find a young, overconfident marketing assistant who backs it all up with a Bachelor of Music in Trumpet Performance and Certificate in Journalism from Indiana University!" Well brother, I think I have just the young man for you. Didn't think you could find someone with all that and a history of performing "psychedelic folk with a twist of Indian classical" music? Meet Josh Millrod, your future entry-level employee extraordinaire!

There are three things you need to know about GSD&M Idea City: It's a humongo ad agency based in Austin, Texas; Its CEO is Roy Spence, who is currently engaged in helping Hillary Clinton figure out how to make people like her; and its name makes it ripe for jokes from waggish creative types. Bondage humor, or just call it "Greed Sex Drugs & Money?" Endless possibilities. The agency is also having a terrible year, and recently laid off 200 employees. How are they planning to get back on track? With just one hire: a CHIEF IDEA OFFICER. Polish up your C.V.'s and practice your vague sloganeering for that one, advertising people. Hey GSD&M, here's an idea: (Sex drug money joke). Ha! What else?[Agency Spy]

"Top NYC-based publicist looking for a new intern... Laptop required! It would also be a major plus to be a fast typer and thinker, and to be very familiar with Word, Excel, and other office programs (i.e. Entourage). Major plus to be a PR, marketing or advertising major! Compensation is either college credit and exposure, compensation for some expenses." Oh it's so adorable when employers tout "exposure" as a significant job perk. [Craigslist]

While Defamer is committed to connecting its readers with opportunities to obtain gainful, career-jumpstarting employment in the entertainment industry, recent items we've passed along might have given job hunters the tragically mistaken impression that assistant gigs are glamorous affairs entailing little more than helping one's famous boss chase tail on the set of a big-budget movie production. Luckily, this Craigslist post seeking some help for a busy TV producer reminds us at length (the poster seems terrified of receiving time-wasting resumes from those constitutionally unsuited for the position) that the fast-paced personal-assisting field is a demanding one that chews up the lazy, dumb, and weak. Excerpts from the ad, including a detailed FAQ letting one know what is expected of pretty much any assistant in this town (minus explicit mentions of occasional beatings), follow:

LA-based electronica duo Captain Ahab (link possibly NSFW, based on how your workplace feels about two shirtless dudes in the throws of Satanic embrace) won New Line's Snakes on a Plane songwriting contest with their catchy ditty, "Snakes On My Brain." (You can hear it at their MySpace page.) The win guaranteed them a spot on the SoaP soundtrack, and, according to a Craiglist posting, a bootylicious video. Seeking generously bottomed lady-types, or, as the ad puts it, "dirty dirty girls who want to shake their asses," the very low-rent (and, we think, no-paying) gig asks the aspiring skanklets to outfit themselves in the finest ho'-wear. Suggestions include:

Defamer is committed to bringing together ambitious, young go-getters comfortable with the idea of trading sexual favors for advancement in the entertainment industry with anonymous, Craigslist-trolling executives too cheap to hire out a pro for a lunchtime blowjob. Prepare to fulfill all of your Tinseltown dreams:

Defamer is committed to bringing together qualified, discreet professionals from the private aviation industry and the frequent-flying superproducers who wouldn't mind having a little something-something to look at while sipping martinis on the flight to Cannes, OK? Via monster.com, an exciting opportunity for anyone looking to spend some quality, pressurized-cabin time with a Hollywood power player:

Defamer is committed to bringing together those who've spent their lives honing an impressive repertoire of salutations and organizations looking to make a clean break from their recent, customer-hostile pasts. The Roosevelt Hotel, home of infamously exclusive celebrity glory-holes Tropicana Bar and Teddy's, turns to Craiglist's inexhaustible talent pool to officially end the Amanda Scheer Demme Era:

We at Defamer realize that even if one of our "Connections" or "Employment" features results in either a love match or job for one of our readers, no relationship (whether personal or professional) can last forever. Last summer, we spotlighted the Craigslist plea of the bicoastal TV executive whose personal assistant requirements included the willingness to give rubdowns and escort him to various job-related events. It seems that he's already lost one special helper to either carpal tunnel syndrome, a sudden swelling of self-esteem, or a better-paying job within the sex trade entertainment industry, because he's back with virtually the same pitch:

Attention recent Paramount casualties: We understand you are probably still in shock at your untimely displacement, perhaps making dazed circles in the middle of Melrose, cardboard boxes of personal items clutched in your hands, as whizzing cars narrowly avoid curing your woes forever. Fret not we here at Defamer are often the first to hear about Hollywood job opportunities, and we never hesitate to pass them on to you. Here's a plum, sent into to us just moments ago:

Defamer is committed to connecting eager job hunters looking to get a foothold in the entertainment business with exciting opportunities to play a support role in the inebriated-coeds-flashing-their-breasts- for-a-free-trucker-hat-and-a-lifetime-of-regrets industry. As always, Craigslist provides:

In the interest of equipping all potential applicants for the aforementioned position within Steven Seagal's production concern with as much pre-interview information as possible, we pass along this report from a reader who already went through the initial interrogation just for the proverbial shits and giggles:

Odds are that either you or someone you know was a victim of the studios' year-end layoff fad. But with a new year comes new hope for gainful employment, courtesy of the cyber-headhunters of Craigslist:

With seemingly every company in town lopping of a portion of its workforce just in time for the holidays, many of the suddenly unemployed will need to keep an open mind when considering new opportunities within the entertainment business. As always, the anonymous potential employers of Craigslist offer a creative, short-term solution to one's cash-flow problems: