Lindsay's 17-year-old sister has seen her "boobs, ass, and vag." Kim Kardashian's reality show literally tried to cast her husband. Jason Sudeikis is dating an Olsen, but which one? Thursday gossip is sisterly.

Lindsay Lohan heads back to court. George Clooney's girlfriend "debuts" in a see-through dress. Robert Downey Jr. demands forgiveness for Mel Gibson. Monday gossip turns to a life of crime.

Bill O'Reilly's pervy fascination with Lady Gaga is so 2010. This year on the Factor it's all about Eva Longoria. At least that's the feeling we got after watching O'Reilly insert Longoria into tonight's "Pinheads & Patriots" segment for seemingly no reason other than to offer her free muffins to come on his program.

All three Kardashians blow off Kris Humphries' plus-size model sister. Mila Kunis gets hacked. A naked man with a Fudgesicle broke into Nicolas Cage's house. Padma Lakshmi bombs at an open mic night. Thursday gossip turns up its nose.

J. Lo shoves Mary-Louise Parker to grab the attention of royals. Jon Hamm gets "absolutely blind drunk." Kristen Stewart gets in a car accident. Elin Nordegren lands a billionaire. TGIFriday gossip.

Did Mary-Kate hook up with Kanye on his birthday? Does Jennifer Lopez bathe in the black magic blood of Santeria chickens? Does Kim Kardashian need a decoy engagement ring? Did LeAnn Rimes make a sex tape? Friday gossip has questions.

Jesse James is still around. Nicollette Sheridan is still really upset about being fired from Desperate Housewives. David Arquette has "clean" hands. And Rupert Murdoch paid Sienna Miller for hacking her phone. Saturday gossip is all about payback.

A shocked nation recoils as Christina Aguilera dares show her face with anything less than professional hair and makeup. Victoria Beckham gets a "quinny buzz." Benjamin Millepied throws a tantrum. Monday gossip has fascist beauty standards.

Demi Lovato gives her first post-rehab interview. Charlie Sheen comes out as a birther. Catherine Zeta-Jones opens up about her bipolar disorder. Wednesday gossip has nothing to hide.

Charlie Sheen says he's "ready to call anyone for help," but is this just another senseless rant, or has his mania abated? Lindsay Lohan's maybe-stolen necklace hits the auction block. Amanda Seyfried gets Botox at 25. Wednesday gossip crashes into a deep depression.

Penelope Cruz is perhaps not a fan of her brother's new girlfriend. Charlie Sheen may be in contempt of court. Zac Efron might have caressed a gentleman caller's hand. Friday gossip lacks certainty, but makes up for it with dirt.

Basketball games are among the best places for spotting celebrities in the wild. Since the famous folk frequent court side seats, the view is often unobstructed; the lighting is good; cameras are welcome; and, due to the magic of assigned seating, they often end up interacting with unexpected members of their flock. Case in point: At last night's NBA All-Stars game, Justin Bieber sat next to Rihanna.

Kim Kardashian deploys a team of tailors to sew her butt into her dress. Eva Longoria's new boyfriend has an "Eva" tattoo. Charlie Sheen passes two drug tests. Prince Harry will be Prince William's best man. Monday gossip busts out.

Eva Longoria rebounds with a pierced pop star. Lindsay Lohan still on the hook for grand theft. Holly Madison gets $30,000 to sit next to a rich guy. Bieber's secret alias is Chandler Bing. Tuesday gossip blows everyone's covers.

Shia LaBeouf got in a bar fight after someone called him a "faggot." Calvin Klein's boyfriend wrongly boasts about his new car collection. Lindsay Lohan girds herself for a legal fight. Khloe Kardashian tries to lose weight. Sunday gossip roundup!

Britney Spears overshadows the bride at a wedding. Claire Danes flies coach, and won't stop bragging about it. Charlie Sheen's rehab will take three months. David Arquette is done with rehab. Monday gossip is momentous.

A transsexual woman explains Kelly Osbourne's Twitter freak-out: Luke was in love with a woman with a penis. Rob Pattinson calls his own naked image "very pretty." Diddy hits the sauce. Monday gossip is full of surprises.

A disfiguring dance floor accident forced David Arquette into rehab. Eva Longoria rebounds with Penelope Cruz's brother. T.I. gets "frisky" in jail. James Franco: "Maybe I'm just gay." Thursday gossip hits rock bottom.

[Blending: The critical final step of makeup application, known to elude even the best, sometimes. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Justin Bieber toys with the outward indicators of sexual maturity. Jermaine Jackson owes $100,000 in child support. Lady says she didn't boink Eva Longoria's husband. Aretha Franklin goes under the knife. TGIFriday gossip.