John Mayer went out on Saturday night and raised the bar on celebrity cheesedickery, David Cross and Amber Tamblyn are making out in public all over East Village, and Fergie admits to being bi-sexual.

• Cynthia Nixon and longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni have gotten engaged. The couple announced the news at the Love, Peace and Marriage Equality rally over the weekend. [OK!, ET]
• Mariah Carey reportedly threw a fit in Cannes on Friday evening when the director of her new movie had the audacity to show up late to the premiere, thus denying her precious time on the red carpet. [NYDN]
• Also in Cannes: Giuseppe Cipriani was seen making out with Tara Reid; and Kirsten Dunst missed the party she was supposed to be hosting because she missed her flight. [NYDN, Mirror]
• Kelly Bensimon is telling friends she regrets joining the Real Housewives cast since appearing on the show has "ruined her socially." [P6]
• Brooke Shields says her mother was checked out of her nursing home last week by a National Enquirer reporter looking for a scoop. [People]

May 15 @ 135pm Washington Square Dog Run, being interviewed, all dark hair and a very orange (oompa-loompa) plumped face. [Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com]

The Robin Hood Foundation's spring fundraiser took place last night at the Jacob Javitz Convention Center and some 3,200 people turned up to munch on grilled shrimp and chicken Milanese, mingle with the likes of Oprah and Anne Hathaway, and open their wallets and give to the non-profit that funnels millions of dollars a year to worthy causes across the city. The mood was a bit subdued this year, which isn't surprising considering Robin Hood remains the charity of choice for a big bunch of Wall Street chiefs and hedge fund titans like Dan Och, Steve Cohen, and Paul Tudor Jones. To reflect the mood, the lavish auction items that were a staple in previous years weren't part of the program this time around. But emcee Jon Stewart managed to keep the crowd laughing with Bernie Madoff jokes, and George Soros gave the evening a big boost by making a $50 million pledge. (The organization collected a total of $72 million last night, up from $56 million last spring.) Coverage of the event can be found here, here, and here. For a slightly more informal take on the evening, a brief dispatch from the wife of a hedge fund manager is below.

• Eliot and Silda Spitzer made their first public appearance together last night. The couple turned up at the Waldorf for the eighth annual Children's Benefit Gala and were spotted holding hands and making "lovey-dovey looks at each other." Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. [NYDN]
• The stress over the Kiefer Sutherland/Jack McCollough incident must be getting to Brooke Shields: She was spotted looking "upset, overwhelmed and stressed" at the Innocence Project gala on Wednesday night. On a related note, the desk appearance ticket Kiefer received yesterday means he will be a free man until he shows up in court on June 21. [NYDN, NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan's 15-year-old sister Ali has reportedly dropped out of high school so she can party full-time with her big sister. Good work, Dina. [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are expecting girls when their surrogate gives birth in a few weeks. [OK!]

• Lindsay Lohan is "drowning her sorrows" over Sam Ronson in a "sea of men," including 90210's Kellan Lutz and British paparazzo Chris Jepson. She's also going out all the time again, and hit up six clubs in one evening last week. But that's probably just because she's naturally very energetic. [P6]
• In related news, LiLo tells E! that she isn't in talks to join a topless show in Las Vegas, but she'd be willing to dabble in the burlesque world for the right price. [OK!]
• Uma Thurman's rep says she and Arpad Busson did not get married in the Bahamas last weekend, although it's rumored the couple is planning a "low-key" wedding this Saturday instead. [E!, Sun]
• Daphne Guinness was supposedly overheard telling a friend that she and Andre Balazs aren't "seeing each other seriously," since she's about to move in with French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy. [P6]

Mariah Carey turns 39 today. Quentin Tarantino is turning 46. Fergie is 34. Dance Theatre of Harlem founder Arthur Mitchell turns 75. British actor Michael York is 67. Wall Street Journal tech columnist Walt Mossberg is 62. Nancy Peretsman, investment banker to Oprah and Martha, is 55. And Talisa Soto, former model and current wife of actor Benjamin Bratt, turns 42 today. Weekend birthdays follow below.

• Things aren't looking up for Damon Dash. He's lost a fortune recently and is buried under a mountain of debt. Now it looks like he's losing his wife, too: Rachel Roy just slapped the hip hop mogul with divorce papers. [NYDN]
• David Letterman and his longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko got married last week. [NYP, Us]
• Courtenay Semel, daughter of media mogul Terry Semel and occasional girlfriend of Casey Johnson, has checked into rehab. [P6]
• The real reason behind Jen Aniston and John Mayer's split? Jen was supposedly sick of his "obsession" with Twitter. Naturally. [Sun, Telegraph]

Barry Diller riding his bike around town yesterday ... Rachel Weisz walking in the East Village ... Mario Batali hanging out with son Benno in the Village ... Dustin Hoffman and his daughter shopping in Soho ...Tobey Maguire pushing daughter Ruby in a stroller down Fifth Avenue ... Brad Pitt taking Pax and Maddox to lunch at Mars 2112 in Times Square ... Russell Brand shopping in SoHo ... Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger walking downtown ... Hugh Jackman tossing around a ball in the Village ... Robert Redford and Sibylle Szaggars shopping on Madison Avenue ... Angelina Jolie shooting scenes for Salt outside St. Barth's Church on Park ... Fergie leaving a building in Midtown ... Taylor Momsen standing on the set of Gossip Girl ... Alec Baldwin leaving the Waverly Inn ... and Rihanna, Jay-Z, Beyonce and Brandy going to dinner at the Spotted Pig.

Someday, Fergie and Josh Duhamel may have an inquisitive, precocious child who asks, "What was your wedding night like? How was the sex?" And Fergie will answer, "Why tell you when we can show you?"

Fergie veils face, not crotch. [Us]

• It may be the end of the line for socialite Tinsley Mortimer and her husband Topper. The couple has been living apart since December, reportedly because Tinz is sick of Topper's "promiscuous ways." But considering this is the second time they've been married to one another, there's always the chance the third time will be the charm. [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is turning into quite the entrepreneur. She's reportedly in talks to launch a chain of gyms with her personal trainer. [DS]
• Amy Winehouse says she's finally off drugs and "feels like a new woman," although she also says that she hasn't quit drinking just yet. [NYDN]
• Madonna is reportedly beefing up her security detail following death threats from Islamic fanatics. [People.co.uk]
• A rundown of the winners at last night's Golden Globes. [E!]

Was it a violin string snapping? The long, low moan of a siren? What was it—what sound, what feeling—that told us that Katie Holmes was leaving New York?

• Both Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman have active cases of herpes, reports Page Six, something you should probably keep in mind in the event either woman tries to plant a kiss on you. [P6]
• William H. Macy will take over for Jeremy Piven in Speed-the-Plow now that the Pivster has overdosed on sushi and will need to take time off to cleanse his sacred temple from mercury. [NYP]
• Marci Klein, SNL producer and daughter of Calvin, is calling it quits with her husband of eight years, Scott Murphy. [P6]

Kate Bosworth checking in for a flight at JFK with boyfriend James Rousseau ... Natalie Portman eating soup on the set of her new movie ... Hugh Jackman leaving the studios of GMA ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking with son James in the West Village ... Frank Gifford leaving ABC studios ... Kate Winslet shopping at YSL ... Alicia Keys standing outside the Letterman show ... Katie Holmes leaving her East Village apartment ... Seth Green, Enrique Iglesias, and David Archuleta posing for pics outside MTV studios in Times Square ... and Fergie sitting in the backseat of a cab.

Glamour magazine's annual "Women of the Year" awards took place last night at Carnegie Hall. Honorees like Hillary Clinton, Nicole Kidman, and Tyra Banks were joined by the likes of Debra Messing, Fergie, Natalie Portman, Tinsley Mortimer, America Ferrera, Jane Krakowski, Salman Rushdie, Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Taylor Swift. Click through for a few photos of the event.

After we covered the first promotional photo from Nine last week, this follow-up email from the Weinstein Company seemed simple enough: "Attached is a high res version of the shot you put up on the site Friday. Do you mind replacing it with this one?" Sure, we thought. After all, who wouldn't want a closer look at the film's eclectic cast, which includes Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson, Judi Dench, and Fergie's labia? Strangely, though, one of those performers appears to have gone missing thanks to an industrious Weinstein Co. photoshop. Check out the shocking evidence, after the jump!

The Weinstein Company this week released the accompanying portrait from Nine, director Rob Marshall's musical currently shooting in London. The occasion was the American Film Market, where foreign buyers (and probably not just a few domestic distributors smelling blood) rummaged through Harvey's Dollar Store for bargains on TWC properties, and as the photo suggests, nothing says "deal" like Penelope Cruz in her best bladder-holding pose opposite a spread-eagled Fergie. (Click through for a larger image.)And that's not even counting the four Oscar winners on display: Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren, Marion Cotillard and Dame Judi Dench. And look at Kate Hudson! Even the PA's get to be all dressed up on this movie! Dec. 11, 2009, can't come soon enough!

♦ Angelina Jolie is either "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's flirtatious relationship with co-star Diane Kruger, or she's completely happy and getting ready for her next adoption in the next few weeks, depending on which tabloid you pick up. [Star, OK!]
♦ Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than any other host on the View, news that probably won't surprise you. [P6]
♦ Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent last weekend at a romantic spa in Arizona. [Star]
♦ Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen appeared at a book signing yesterday, but they did not permit fans to talk to them. [P6]
♦ Page Six follows up on the news from three weeks ago and reports Ivanka Trump is converting to Judaism for Jared Kushner. She's attending synagogue regularly, too. [P6]

• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi officially tied the knot in front of 20 guests at their Beverly Hills home on Saturday, exchanging handwritten vows and Neil Lane rings. Ellen wore a pants suit; De Rossi opted for a Zac Posen gown. [NYP]