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• Cynthia Nixon and longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni have gotten engaged. The couple announced the news at the Love, Peace and Marriage Equality rally over the weekend. [OK!, ET]
• Mariah Carey reportedly threw a fit in Cannes on Friday evening when the director of her new movie had the audacity to show up late to the premiere, thus denying her precious time on the red carpet. [NYDN]
• Also in Cannes: Giuseppe Cipriani was seen making out with Tara Reid; and Kirsten Dunst missed the party she was supposed to be hosting because she missed her flight. [NYDN, Mirror]
• Kelly Bensimon is telling friends she regrets joining the Real Housewives cast since appearing on the show has "ruined her socially." [P6]
• Brooke Shields says her mother was checked out of her nursing home last week by a National Enquirer reporter looking for a scoop. [People]

• Jeremy Piven is persona non grata on Broadway, as you suspected. [P6]
• The producer of Lindsay Lohan's movie says she is not at all worried about Lindsay acting up because she's "promised to be on her best behavior." Famous last words. [People]
• Madonna and Jesus Luz wore all white to a Kabbalah service over the weekend. Meanwhile, it looks like Jesus's interest in Kabbalah pre-dates his fling with Madonna. [DM, NYP]
• Bradley Cooper says he and Jennifer Aniston aren't dating. [People]
• Natalie Portman says she and Sean Penn aren't dating, either. [Us]
• Sean Avery went to the reopening of Scores the other night and was chased outside by a stripper who "insisted he take her number." [P6]
• Brad Pitt got chased last week, too— by two women who followed him into a parking garage in Soho, apparently. [NYDN]
• James Gandolfini forgot his lines on stage on Thursday night. [P6]
• Ashley Olsen says she's retiring from acting. [Star]
• Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz have been dating for months, although they haven't spoken about it due to Swizz's ongoing divorce. [NYDN]
• David Cross and Amber Tamblyn were seen making out at a bar. [P6]
• Cameron Diaz might be hooking up with Adam Levine. [NYDN]
• Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller have split up. Again. [NYDN]
• Fergie would like everyone to know she's bisexual, thank you very much. [Sun]
• Eminem says his new album was inspired by his "obsession with serial killers." Good to know. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton's neighbor has reportedly offered to pay her landlord $27,000 a month to kick her out of her Hollywood Hills rental. [TMZ]