After making noise during its federally mandated quiet period and after taking heat for a farcical accounting metric, Groupon might still be able to IPO next month. The online discounter's CEO just has to prove to the feds that he's not a liar.

Netflix recently had the bright idea of introducing a big stealth price hike. Profits soared! Actually, no: Netflix stopped growing due to cancellations, cut its subscriber projections, and the stock is down 17 percent so far today.

Facebook's profits are on track to reach nearly $1 billion this year, Reuters reports, as revenue doubles. Selling your private moments to advertisers has never been more lucrative.

Surprise: Wildly unprofitable money pit Groupon canceled its investor roadshow and withdrew its IPO schedule, says the Wall Street Journal. Also, there's a new SEC inquiry into the company. But everything will be back on track just as soon as the tech bubble returns, honest!

In 2008, when the global economy collapsed, the Bush administration hilariously appointed 30-something Republican ski bum and Ferrari-loving Goldman Sachs alum Neel Kashkari as our nation's "bailout czar." It was America's worst job, and everyone hated him. He fled as soon as reasonably possible for the friendlier confines of private enterprise.

Groupon recently disclosed it owes more to merchants than it has in the bank; the online discounter stays afloat only by selling new Groupons. So the Groupon's recent sales dive is particularly unwelcome.

Remember when Goldman Sachs was a remorseless, cruelly efficient monolith run by soulless machines intent on harvesting wealth at the expense of the global economy and without regard to consequences?

All you investors with your crazy research and economic "theories": You should just be reading Twitter! Derwent Capital, a hedge fund that bases its investment strategy on Twitter data, outperformed the market in its first month.

AOL shares closed down 26 percent today, despite posting its first ad sales increase since the company was spun out from Time Warner. The problem? The disastrous AOL-HuffPo merger seems to be catching up to the internet conglomerate.

It's the first Friday in August! This means two things: The nice, brisk days of autumn aren't too far away, and the latest jobs report has come out. Employers added 117,000 jobs in July and brought the unemployment rate down one tenth of a percentage point to 9.1%. This is kind of good?

Now that the debt ceiling's been raised and all uncertainty removed from the markets, the Dow Jones will respond by... dropping 265 points on the day. The reason is that the economy is terrible.

Here's a trailer for the financial thriller (such a thing exists in these economic crater times) Margin Call, a fictionalized look at the real story of the hours before the financial world near collapsed in 2008. Sounds exciting?

Three guys who refuse to answer for sleazy spam tactics on behalf of their startup might expect to be shunned. Circumstances being what they are, the same three guys are bathing in money and adulation.

An ongoing fundraising round values Twitter at nearly twice what it was worth in December, despite the company having failed to create a discernible business model in the interim, and despite admitting it needs new leadership. Welcome to the new tech economics.

Bank of America feels just awful about it's role in packaging and selling a bunch of junk mortgages and inflating the economy with bad debt until the bottom fell out and more than 5 million people lost their jobs and more than 2.5 million went on food stamps, except for BofA's executives, who still got paid. So it's decided to pay $14 billion to BlackRock, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, and a bunch of other extremely wealthy institutions to make up for it. Are we square?

Fameball economist, world-class doomsayer, and long-time Gawker favorite Nouriel Roubini had a 14-hour party on Saturday, beginning with a "noon...dip in the model-packed Jacuzzi" atop his Manhattan triplex and ending when the...caffeine ran out, we're guessing. They probably partied until there was no more caffeine left to keep them going at Nouriel Roubini's 14-hour "Carmens and Matadors"-themed party at his $5.5 million apartment.

Be warned: You are going to be enraged when you hear this news, imbued with all the populist animalism you can muster and smashing crap all afternoon: Goldman Sachs is cutting some jobs in America and adding 1,000 people in Singapore. Are there even words to describe how much the average American will miss its favorite company?

Hulu has put itself up for sale, moving to end the grand alliance between the broadcasters who own the TV website and provide it with shows. This is really going to suck.

A guy with a sign is begging Wall Street passersby to fund his iPhone app. He just needs $250,000. And with venture capitalists putting $10 million into a grilled cheese sandwich, is that really asking too much?

Newt Gingrich still had some presidential campaign staffers after 16 of his top aides quit en masse a couple of weeks ago. It only takes a few, right? Perhaps. But his top campaign finance advisers just quit too, so he really should end his campaign and take whatever few dollars remain to pay himself a PAC salary for a few months.