Dan "Cowardly" Lyons of Forbes commits the worst sin of any blogger: being boring. [The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs]

In an interview with CNBC, Dan Lyons, the Forbes senior editor revealed as Fake Steve Jobs, makes two fascinating admissions: First, that he has, in fact, not concluded negotiations with his employer on bringing the Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog to Forbes.com. Second, that he and his employer did have a plan in the works to launch a Forbes-backed version of his site after Labor Day. I'm counting that as two hunches confirmed.

My musing on why it took Forbes so long to reach a deal with its own editor, Dan Lyons, to bring his Secret Diary of Steve Jobs to Forbes.com, raised a question in my mind: How do we know the outing of Fake Steve Jobs wasn't an inside job? There's one very close link: Damon Darlin, the recently appointed technology editor at the Times who edited the story, used to work at Forbes. I have the utmost respect for the reporting skills of Brad Stone, the Times reporter who broke the story, and believe he discovered Lyons on his own, the old-fashioned way, through hard work and shoe-leather reporting. But is it possible Forbes insiders, to create buzz for both Lyons's forthcoming Fake Steve book, Options, and the arrival of his blog on Forbes.com, fed the Times just enough tidbits to help Stone land the scoop — or, at the very least, decided to play along once they learned he was on the hunt?

What took Forbes so long to strike a deal to sponsor The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs, now that Forbes editor Dan Lyons has been revealed as the faux Apple CEO? Fake Steve has been complaining about money woes for most of the year. It turns out that he asked close chum David Churbuck for help securing a sponsorship back in February, and lo and behold, Wired signed up as a sponsor that same month. And a couple of months later, without much ado, Fake Steve dropped Wired. At the time, Lyons, as Fake Steve, told me this:

Lenovo marketing executive David Churbuck is really, really close to Dan Lyons, the Forbes editor recently outed as Fake Steve Jobs. They went to prep school together. They, um, wrestled together. And then they followed each other from job to job. Can anyone say "stalker"? But here's the really scary part. In a post from February, Churbuck describes, at length, a friend with a popular blog who's trying to find advertisers. A friend who, like Dan Lyons as Fake Steve Jobs, experimented with Google's AdSense program and a CafePress store. Except Churbuck persistently refers to the blogger as "her" and "she." Peter Kafka at Silicon Alley Insider thinks Churbuck was "shielding" Lyons's identity. I don't know, Peter. I think there are some deeper identity issues going on here. Let me say it again, folks: prep school wrestling team. You know what that means.

Alas, poor Blogger. Fake Steve Jobs, one of the highest-profile users of the Google-owned blog service is departing for ... Forbes.com? Yes. The online arm of the stuffy business magazine isn't known for hosting blogs, but it's making room for Dan Lyons, the Forbes editor recently outed as Fake Steve jobs, the faux Apple CEO. The only question: Will Lyons get a raise for his troubles? I sure hope so. When last Fake Steve and I made plans to dine out, he proposed a burrito at Pancho Villa, the beloved and cheap taqueria in San Francisco's Mission District.

A year ago, Rich Karlgaard, the publisher of Forbes, promised "the most expensive iPod" to the first person to identify Fake Steve Jobs. It took Brad Stone of the New York Times a year — or an afternoon, depending on how you look at it — but he's now in a position to collect. (We're deeming Karlgaard's prize to be a $599, 8GB iPhone, since the real Steve Jobs likes to tout it as "the best iPod ever.") Stone, of course, unmasked Karlgaard's own employee, Dan Lyons, as the writer of the faux Apple CEO blog. One small hitch in calling Karlgaard to account, however: I doubt Times ethics policies would allow Stone to accept the reward. Update: Karlgaard apparently reads Valleywag. He now proposes that he auction off a $599 iPhone in Stone's honor instead.

The jig is up, the secret is out, the game is over: Forbes editor Dan Lyons is Fake Steve Jobs, the now-unmasked author of The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. Brad Stone of the New York Times, to my dismay, was the one to out Lyons as the faux Apple CEO. It was crushing. I've known for some time now that several Forbes employees were in on the secret. Lyons, as Fake Steve, even hinted at the outing in a post today: "My world, anyway, is about to change." My apologies to readers. But it makes perfect sense. Here are the not-so-coincidental similarities between Lyons's chosen enemies and Fake Steve's.

Just in from Forbes HQ: "We will be announcing tomorrow that Forbes has retained Cushman & Wakefield to pursue the sale of the headquarters building at 60 Fifth Avenue. As with many other media companies, such as Conde Nast and The New York Times, our business has simply outgrown our building. Recently we have begun talks with key developers in the city to create a new headquarters in New York City. We are planning that Forbes will remain at 60 Fifth Avenue and 90 Fifth Avenue for the next few years. As plans develop, we will keep you informed."

Ten-year Forbes vet Peter Kafka, who most recently slaved away as the Media Editor on Forbes.com, quit yesterday; he'll be joining what we hear is a new tech blog backed by former Merrill Lynch analyst and current Slate pontificator Henry Blodget and Kevin Ryan, one of the co-founders of Internet ad agency Doubleclick. This is not Blodget's existing site InternetOutsider, but something new. "It doesn't have a name yet but we should have more details in a month or so," Kafka tells us.

One of the great pleasures of James Brady's media column for Forbes is the sweet anticipation one experiences while wondering how Brady is going to set up his full-page litany of name drops. The current edition uses the recent Peter Braunstein case—and the suggestion that working in the fashion industry drove Braunstein crazy—as its peg. As is our custom, we've provided a summarized version of the column, boiled down to its essentials and shorn of all the extraneous detail. Enjoy!

• Will Ron Burkle make a play for AMI? Will he bid on Dennis Publishing? And would he merge his recently-acquired Primedia Enthusiast titles with those companies, particularly for AMI's distribution arm? And will he admit to (allegedly!) owning Radar? [WWD]
  

According to a reader, "there were no fewer that nine departures from Forbes in the last week or so." We're still doing the headcount to verify—but why so much turnover? And how can the magazine deal with a smaller staff? Meanwhile, Forbes' Louis Hau covers the events yesterday at the Newspaper Association of America convention, and quotes Lincoln Millstein, Heart's senior vice president of digital media.

• Nike uses the Don Imus controversy for an ad campaign it hopes "will spark continued conversation about race in America." And sell sneakers. [AdAge]
  

• Sewell Chan to start new Times blog about brutal rapes, pandas. Also, the Times is moving to a new building. [NYO]
  

A week after accidentally spamming a bunch of her MySpace friends, former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubinstein has clambered back into the saddle—in order to tell Forbes readers how to use the internet effectively! Okay, our heads just exploded. Like, it's not that our favorite cat lady's 7 Tips for Joining Atoosa's Troops (Don't Put Your Brand On A Pedestal, Recruit Web Talent) are off-base at all. In fact, they're just as firstgrader-simple as the folk art that accompanies them. But what on earth qualifies Atoosa to dole out this kind of advice, her number of MySpace friends? Her thriving web-based business that, uh, still doesn't exist yet?

• Times Co. to increase dividend by 31%. (But whose idea was it?) So enjoy that extra third of no profits, stockholders! [NYT]
  

NICK DOUGLAS — Forbes 25 Web Celebs! Technorati 100! Never have so many lists given so little information about who the real top bloggers are. Why is this Jeff Jarvis dude so high up on Technorati's list if you've never actually read his blog? Why does Forbes think Nick Denton is so goddamned important? Here's a simple explanation of what these "top blogger" lists really mean (short answer: less than you think).

What happens when Forbes managing editor Dennis Kneale is forced to go one week without email, a cell phone, or his BlackBerry? The "Today Show" put him to the test. The result? Tears. (Within 40 hours!) Also laughter, but only on our part.

Look at this beautiful family! Anyone seem familiar? That's right, in the top row, second from left, it's erstwhile presidential candidate/media magnate Steve Forbes! This beautiful portrait graces one of the many Christmas cards that the various branches of the Forbes family send out to their employees. As the anonymous recipient who passed them along says, "Could anything be more obnoxious than getting a half dozen holiday cards from a bunch of millionaires I've never heard of? Dude, how about you pay me a decent salary instead?" After the jump, the even-more-exciting interior: