Another day, another bit of time spent with the dilapidated horseshoe crabs over at Fox & Friends. Once again they were discussing this curious thing called Occupy Wall Street and today they focused on how these weirdos feed themselves.
The concerned swamp monsters over at Fox & Friends did a little profile in courage this morning, focusing on a young woman named Hannah Lucas who is saying NO to B. H. Obama's healthier school food initiatives.
The wheezing gophers over at Fox News' Fox & Friends spent a good deal of time this morning talking about the Occupy Wall Street protests, and then, as a service, decided to "give us a flavor" of just who's doin' this crazy thing.
Hank Williams, Jr., living monument to the irrelevance of genes in determining ability, appeared this morning on Fox & Friends to, as philosophe Steve Doocy put it, "break down the 2012 GOP field." And break down he did!
Failed presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty took to Fox News' innumerate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends, this morning, to make some hot news: He's endorsing Mitt Romney — for president, of all things! And Mittens, in return, is naming TPAW one of his national co-chairmen. What else? Will they spend long weekends in the Poconos together, too?
Gilded dildo casket Donald Trump sure was peeved during his weekly call into Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends, today. Muammar Qaddafi, he's no good, sure, but why do the people of Libya now get to manage all of that sweet untapped brent crude under the sands of their own country? Can't NATO, meaning America, just sort of take it now?
This morning on Fox News' doomsday cult chat show Fox & Friends, the pile of leaves and twigs stuffed inside a man's suit known as Steve Doocy spoke to a mother and son about a crazy deer that got loose in their church. Easy story, right? Wrong!
Khloe Kardashian wore a transparent top and no bra on Fox & Friends today, and sat there chatting with the hosts for two minutes straight, with her right nipple exposed. Did the censors not notice it? Do nipples not count when they're behind sheer fabric?
What could be better for the body politic than Donald Trump starting his fake presidential campaign all over again? Pretty much anything. But it could happen! No, really, it could — he vaguely alluded to this possibility in today's edition of Monday Mornings with Trump, a weekly segment that still exists on Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends.
Donald Trump wants to clarify that he's "the least racist person there is." In fact, he says, he's so not-racist that Randal Pinkett, who is black, "won on The Apprentice a little while ago, a couple years ago, and Randal's been outstanding in every way."
During the fight over the federal budget, Republican Senator Jon Kyl stated that over 90% of the services performed by Planned Parenthood were abortions. Over the weekend, the folks at Fox & Friends said that Walgreens offered many of the same services as Planned Parenthood. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert hilariously debunked them both.
Sublime television clown Donald Trump's pretend presidential candidacy is chugging along splendidly as it rains gold, laughs, and a deeper appreciation for the surreal across this great nation. It's fun to write about, it's chilling to read about, and it's lucrative for Donald Trump. His Celebrity Apprentice ratings are up, he's getting more headlines than any other "real" GOP presidential contenders, and now he's landed another television gig. This why he's running a pretend presidential campaign, of course, and the con should keep bearing fruit until he suddenly "drops out" of the race to spend more time with his latest family, during sweeps week.
This morning on Fox News's idiot conspiracy bunker variety hour, the pulsating nerve sacks were talking with veteran soap opera actress Susan Lucci. What were they most curious about? All those soap opera kisses of course! So they asked Susan for a tutorial.
I'm not so sure Jack Tripper's reasoning for rooming with two women was quite the same as what these colleges have in mind. But that's okay Brian, you go pat yourself on the back for knowing some pop culture.
