Kyle XY star Matt Dallas has come out as human. And gay.

Malia Obama's favorite band One Direction were on Ellen yesterday. Blindfolded fans felt them up, the uber-doober British boy band performed a song, and Liam Payne touched Harry Styles in the pooper. You can see it in the screenshot right there.

An appeals court in Albany yesterday ruled unanimously that being falsely labeled a homosexual does not, in itself, constitute defamation.

Slate advice column Dear Prudence (which really is the prudest internet advice column) fielded a titillating question of dubious veracity today, from a gay man in a committed sexual relationship with his twin brother. Could this letter possibly be real? Let's discuss.

Let's direct our fury right now at the distant future people; the ones who were apparently too lazy to use their time machines to come and warn us in 2006, when useless Sen. Rick Santorum was losing his Senate seat by double digits, that we'd still be watching videos of this fucking guy whining about gay marriage six years later when he was a top-tier candidate for a presidential nomination! Then we could've just killed ourselves then and there instead of naively expecting any trace of human progress.

There is nothing worse than those letters you get in Christmas cards recapping what someone's family has been doing for the past year. Maybe everyone should start making videos of their year, like this beautiful, sweet, wonderful, and every other positive adjective gay couple.

For those of you who keep track of America's conservative family-values Republicans who are caught doing sexy gay things, here's a new name to add to your lists: Southaven, Mississippi mayor and failed Congressional candidate Greg Davis, who allegedly billed taxpayers $67 for purchases at a Canadian gay sex shop called Priape.

Kevin Keller, the popular new gay character in the Archie Comics universe, will soon be returning from war and getting married to a man in an offshoot series that envisions the Riverdale teens later in life. Will anyone object??

Wisconsin Rep. Tammy Baldwin has announced she'll run for Senate, and "she will very likely be considered the front-runner for the Democratic nomination." She would be the first openly gay senator in history.

Indiana State Rep. Phillip Hinkle, the anti-gay marriage Indiana Republican accused of offering to pay a young man he met over Craigslist for "a good time," admits that he paid the man but contends that they didn't do anything illicit — they just talked about "baseball and the view."

There was once a time where a boy being crowned prom queen, as per his wishes, would have been an exciting and subversive act. Now it just feels like yet another manifestation of the Gleeing of America. Still, congratulations to Jake Boyer, a openly gay senior from Blacksburg High School in Virginia, who actually had the prom queen balls to go through with it.

Rihanna did her best impression of Madonna at last night's Billboard Awards, nailing Britney Spears right on the kisser after a performance of olfactophilic pain anthem "S&M."

Way up in Wasilla, where the men are men and the moose are meat, members of the high school symphonic jazz choir were excitedly rehearsing for the upcoming graduation ceremony, where they'd be performing an epic rendition of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." Then they were told by Principal Dwight Probasco (that's his staff directory page) that the song had been pulled from the program. "Why?" they wondered, having put months of effort into the big number. Probasco explained it was because he'd received a complaint from a parent. You see Freddie Mercury, the vocalist who had sung the original version of the song, was gay.

A new study commissioned by British Prime Minister David Cameron to protect children from seeing inappropriate images on television will suggest that no gay kisses be shown on television before the 9pm "watershed." But where will our young ones get their same-sex snogging?

To hear some on the political right talk about it, "homosexual indoctrination" is already a problem in public schools — and it's about to get much, much worse.

A 5,000-year-old skeleton was discovered in a Prague suburb, and archaeologists have declared him to be the first known "gay caveman" in history. That's because he was still wearing a pair of Tom Ford sunglasses. No, just kidding — it's because of how he was buried.

This evening's Piers Morgan Tonight featured megachurch pastor Joel Osteen and his Stepford wife Victoria. When Morgan switched the subject to homosexuality, Osteen—declaring it a "sin" and comparing it to an "addiction"—contradicted and offended on multiple levels.

And the award for best acceptance speech at tonight's Golden Globes goes to... Chris Colfer! The openly gay Glee star, who won the Supporting Actor award, dedicated it to teens who face bullying because of who they are. Watch inside.

Jon Stewart tread on familiar ground tonight, lambasting Senator John McCain for continuing his backpedaling and doublespeak on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Curiously, though, it was Joe Lieberman who got a tip of the hat. Watch inside.

Tonight, Jon Stewart spent a few minutes discussing, in detail, just how ridiculous and archaic—not to mention ever-evolving—John McCain's stance on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is, marking Stewart's harshest critique yet of McCain's increasingly indefensible views. Watch inside.