First Sarah Palin had her moment in the sun. Then Bristol did. Now it's Todd's turn: The Hollywood Reporter reports that the Palins are shopping yet another reality show, this time about Todd's "career as a championship snowmobile racer." Too bad nobody wants it.

The FBI has files from a phone-monitoring company whose notorious software was on iPhones, Android phones, Nokias and BlackBerries. But since the files are being used "for law enforcement purposes," the feds won't talk about their contents. So you can't know what secrets the feds have gleaned from your phone, because that's a secret.

Are you one of those Christmas revelers who goes absolutely bonkers the second December rolls around? There's nothing quite like those bright lights of Christmastime, but some have a tendency to overdo it on the holiday cheer.

Yesterday we asked you, the professional etymologists that make up the vast bulk of the Gawker readership, to suggest a new word to replace "bro," so that we may be freed from the yoke of having to called people "bro," as we do now on a regular basis.

Lindsay Lohan's much-discussed "boobs, ass, and vag" Playboy photoshoot has leaked online in its entirety (NSFW link) and it's a massive letdown. First, there is no "vag." Second, they photoshopped out her freckles and tattoos, which is a pretty significant change; we aren't looking at Lindsay, but a Lindsay-shaped work of graphic art. Third, this is just the poor man's version of her other nude Marilyn Monroe photoshoot, which appeared in New York in 2008.

Chanel designer and alien robot of fabulousness Karl Lagerfeld is launching two new retail fashion lines, called "Karl" and "Karl Lagerfeld." To promote them, he is co-opting the letter 'K.' Women's Wear Daily reports,

Yes, an anonymous bidder paid $203,150 at auction for a purse. Well, not just any purse, a Birkin, the hard-to-get handbag fetish of celebrities and needy rich ladies the world over. And not just any Birkin, a Hermès Exceptional Collection Shiny Rouge H Porosus Crocodile 30 cm Birkin Bag with Solid 18K White Gold & Diamond Hardware. Oh, obviously that is worth as much as a house or a college education. Surely!

If you were confused by the final judging panel on America's Next Top Model last night, then you weren't alone. One of the girls was summarily disqualified with little explanation. What the hell happened, and is Facebook to blame?

Silver spoon-sucking Trump in-law Jared Kushner already owns the New York Observer, poorly. Now, the plucky young would-be mogul has his eye on a new crowd of readers: rich annoying idiots!

Joe Gordon is a 55-year-old retired car salesman from Colorado. On Thursday, Gordon was sentenced by a Thai court to 2.5 years in prison. His crime was astonishingly non-existent.

Alec Baldwin may not be running for office, but he may yet affect policy decisions, God help us. The comically volcanic actor is now explaining at length his ejection from an American Airlines flight, and throwing in his lot with the nerds trying to liberate gadgets from aviation regulations: He blames his removal, in part, on "questionable guidelines" governing devices like his iPhone.

Congratulations to brittle newsmatron Barbara Walters on landing a blockbuster exclusive with Syrian madman Bashar Al Assad, who is responsible for the wanton murder of 4,000 of his own men, women, and children. Or as Walters put it, a "mild-mannered ophthalmologist." It's time for her to go.

Lindsay Lohan will preview her Playboy pictorial on Ellen DeGeneres' talk show next week—and in the meantime, images from "very classy" "boobs, ass, and vag" photo shoot are starting to surface. A handful of gossip sites ran a photograph of the purported magazine this afternoon, featuring a honey-blonde LiLo naked and spread eagle on a bunny-shaped chair.

It took Iranian authorities mere hours to blockade "Virtual Embassy Tehran," an American attempt to restore influence in an Islamic republic with which it ended formal relations in 1979. Apparently Hillary Clinton's website was a "cybercrime" and a "spy plot."

There is nothing more amusing on a Wednesday morning than to read some of the New York Observer's voluminous, fawning Occupy Wall Street coverage, and then immediately afterwards read the paper's invariably horrific in-house editorial of the week, which is dictated from on high by the paper's owner, millionaire real estate scion and Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner, whose silver spoon gives him divine guidance on the issues of the day.

Mitt Romney plans on seducing a roomful of Jewish conservatives Wednesday at the Republican Jewish Coalition's

Reports from Twitter say that Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight to from LA just a few minutes ago. Details are sparse.

Apparently concerned that it's not already doing enough to undermine local physical retailers across the country, Amazon.com announced it will pay customers up to $5 to go into a local store, scan an item, walk out, and buy the same item on Amazon. Please don't do this cheap, sad thing.

Legendary broadcast journalist Larry King made a startling announcement on CNN Presents: A Larry King Special: Dinner with the Kings. The announcement was about his death:

Sex and the City creator Candace Bushnell's latest piece of sexy storytelling: Sex and the City Ballet and the Dissolution of Candace Bushnell's Marriage. After allegedly discovering that ballerino husband Charles Askegard was having an affair with ballerina Georgina Pazcoguin, Candace insisted on documenting the affair in her divorce papers, Page Six reports: