Another day, another whiny Winklevoss profile, this time in Vanity Fair.

Apparently Vinny Guadagnino, the big-dicked guido from Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time, was a guest speaker at a Columbia sociology class yesterday. And it sounds like the students weren't too happy about it.

Who knows in these mixed-up times how much jewelry is too much for a man to wear? But Rick Perry wears a lot of it. Rings, bracelets, cufflinks, lapel pins—when he's not busy wowing crowds with his animated speaking style, Rick Perry loves to accessorize! Also, have you ever noticed what a fantastic dresser he is? Positively fastidious.

Creepy 35-year-old Floridian Christopher Chaney said he was "addicted" to hacking into celebs like Scarlett Johansson's email. But he's pleaded not guilty in the case—after issuing a public apology for his hacking.

Lindsay Lohan's jail sentence is delayed. Kim Kardashian flees Australia. Kate Gosselin gets a job clipping coupons. Stanley Tucci marries Emily Blunt's sister. Thursday gossip procrastinates nude.

Hip hop culture is a very deserving field of study. Rap lyrics are some of the most powerful popular poetry of the past three decades. Studying rap music in a classroom is kind of a drag compared to studying rap music, say, in a car full of weed smoke, but hey, it's not the worst thing you could do in a classroom.

According to Sarah Ellison's new Vanity Fair story on the Murdoch clan, available in pdf form here, Rupert Murdoch's children hired a family counselor to help them work through the delicate issue of which one of them will wrestle News Corporation from their father's cold, dead embrace.

It's make or break time. Metastasizing corporate basketcase Groupon is going public Friday. Are stock investors crazy enough to value the unprofitable company at $11 billion?

Having apparently let up on her well-meaning but not entirely thought out campaign to make bullying illegal (More jailtime for juvenile delinquents? In place of hate crime statutes, or in addition to them? What about kids who are alternately bullies and bullied?) Lady Gaga is now launching an anti-bullying foundation:

Occupy Oakland is calling for a general strike today, the first since 1946, according to the New York Times. A few thousand people have gathered in downtown Oakland for a march, and the San Francisco Chronicle reports 260 Oakland public school teachers didn't show up to work, not to mention the stark solidarity shown by the owners of this Men's Wearhouse. (!)

News that Justin Bieber was hit with a paternity suit by 20-year-old Mariah Yeater has shaken the Biebersphere to its very core. Could you believe that some Beliebers are not happy with the young woman who claims to have deflowered 17-year-old Bieber?

In your wispy Wednesday media column: Jared Kushner's latest scheme, Michele Norris's replacement, the gradual death of print continues, Harper's Bazaar revamps, and Chris Matthews make a funny.

After much berating, the Kardashian klan kracks and starts telling lies. Lindsay Lohan returns to court. Hugh Grant has a baby after a "fleeting affair" with a mystery woman. Denise Richards and Richie Sambora reunite. Wednesday gossip plays with semantics.

The Paris editorial offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French weekly satirical magazine along the lines of the Onion, were firebombed this morning after publication of an issue "guest edited" by the prophet Muhammed. Someone must not have gotten the joke.

Coltish gubernatorial pinup Ricky Perry may have raised a few million eyebrows after letting a couple purses drop out of his mouth during his remarks at a shindig thrown by Cornerstone Policy Research, a New Hampshire-based conservative think tank. But regardless of how it may have looked to you on YouTube, you were not there — and as the Good Book states, "Thou shalt not judge thy sassily sloshed presidential hopefuls based on a few hilarious minutes of delightfully cringeworthy viral video."

Today we learned of some unfortunate news: Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel, football fanatics and King and Queen of the college Greek system, have parted ways. But how does a two-year marriage between two such quirky creatures come to an end? One commenter was there when the split happened.

Here's Kim Kardashian's "message to her fans" about her divorce from her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries. At over 400 words, it's "probably the hardest thing [she's] ever had to write," and clocks in at a one-cliché-to-every-sentence average:

The verdict in Wikileaks founder Julian Assange's extradition case will be delivered tomorrow. Many experts are predicting Assange will lose his challenge and be sent to Sweden to face his rape and sexual molestation charges there.

The parliamentary committee investigating illegal voicemail hacking at News International has released a cache of internal company documents showing that the firm was well aware of just how deep its phone hacking scandal went way back in 2008, when it was still publicly claiming that the problem was limited to a few bad apples.

Groupon's long journey from flailing startup to multi-billion-dollar Wall Street obsession has played out like an opera, with subplots involving orgiastic young sales reps, brutal German managers, a puppet-master chairman, and amazing levels of greed. Business Insider's Nicholas Carlson went behind the scenes, talked to people in the know, and filed the sensational report that appears below.