Justin Murdock—billionaire Dole Food heir and Avril Lavigne's ex-boyfriend—faces a sexual harassment suit for calling an employee a "whore," telling her to suck his dick, and requiring her to start a Facebook account for him as "Cobra McJingleballs."

Banking heir and "techno music star" Ivan Wilzig had a tummy ache one day. Suddenly his innie bellybutton exploded into an outie—filled, presumably, with his guts. The process nearly killed him. This is his harrowing absurdist story.

As the Winslet-Mendes marriage fell apart, Kate "freaked out" over her Mendes-directed sex scenes with Leonardo. Snooki on sobering up in jail: "It happens to the best of us." Tuesday gossip is a matter of opinion.

Lady Gaga crowd surfs in pasties and fishnet, and gets licked. Dina Lohan plans a family garage sale. Katy Perry's new song is about how bad her ex-boyfriend was in bed. Monday gossip is orally fixated.

Katy Perry pontificates on Google Alert addictions. Laurence Fishburne isn't speaking to his porn star daughter. George Clooney's girlfriend knows you're jealous of her, and she will rub her happiness in your face. Wednesday gossip indulges bad habits.

[John Mayer gets himself into a comparative Situation backstage at the CMT Music Awards. Image via Getty.]

Jersey Shore falls for the Hilton sisters, and horror ensues. Coolio's new tattoo has a typo. Naomi Campbell cancelled an appearance because they tried to make her walk up stairs. Tuesday gossip is nightmarish in a good way.

Copying Ashley Dupre is officially a valid career path. Did Jonathan Rhys Meyer use the n-word? A Food Network star hires homeless guys to kill his wife. Woody Allen defends Roman Polanski. Monday gossip has many vices.

She has to costar in a movie with Miley Cyrus first, though. Did Amy Winehouse's boobs spring another leak? Jersey Shore gets banned from clubs. Wizard of Oz's coroner munchkin dies. Saturday's gossip roundup defies belief.

Once upon a time, Kate Major was a celebrity journalist who "crossed the line" to bang Jon Gosselin. Now that she's engaged to Michael Lohan, we emailed to ask if she's repeating her "mistake." Her pissed-off email response below!

Lourdes wishes her mom didn't date men young enough to be her brother. A woman named Skittles Valentine tells all about her Jesse James orgy. Khloe Kardashian goes Girls Gone Wild. Thursday's gossip roundup is overexposed.

A tipster tells us Ben Maisani was Anderson Cooper's guest at last night's Vanity Fair Oscar party. We turned up this picture that certainly looks like Cooper brought his very private boyfriend to a very public event.

The power gays are always trying to whitewash the gay world to convince mainstream culture we're "normal." What they really need is a poster boy like Marc Jacobs. He is attractive, successful, talented, and gayer than a lube-stained bathhouse.

Harvard professor, hedge-fund millionaire, and "court historian for the imperial American hard right" Niall Ferguson is leaving his wife for a feminist filmmaker he met at the Time 100 party. Sex! Scandal! Murderous Muslim clerics! This story has it all.

Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner sold his stake in an Upper West Side townhouse to wife Jane, from whom he is separated but not divorced. Jann and his boyfriend retain their condo a few blocks away. Also, three other pads:

It's official: Google's co-founders will relinquish their voting control of the company over the next five years via stock sales, netting $6 billion in the process. Which begs the question: Are they getting bored?

[Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one? Jean Paul Gaultier poses, with fake black eye and blood and stuff, with known abuser Brown, backstage at Gaultier's Paris menswear fashion show. Ick. Image via Getty]

[College Humor's Jakob Lodwick, Sam Reich, and Ricky Van Veen pose last night at the National Arts Club where they received the Citation of Merit for the Art of Comedy. Image via Getty]

We hear News Corporation is winding down MySpace spinoff Slingshot Labs, a vestige of the media conglomerate's efforts to retain MySpace founder Chris DeWolfe. But the labs are hatching one last diabolical plot, on behalf of the Wall Street Journal.

The hapless governor of New York, David Paterson, now must overcome the arrest of his 15-year-old son for possession of a stolen credit card and shooting dice. This in addition to the president himself opposing his re-election bid, and the whole cocaine-use-and-infidelity-and-pot-smoking thing. "Comically unprepared to take office" indeed. (via)