She has to costar in a movie with Miley Cyrus first, though. Did Amy Winehouse's boobs spring another leak? Jersey Shore gets banned from clubs. Wizard of Oz's coroner munchkin dies. Saturday's gossip roundup defies belief.

  • Demi Moore robbed the cradle with 15-year-junior husband Ashton Kutcher, and now she is ready to fill the cradle, with Ashton's babies. "We talk about it [having kids] and it's something that we would like," said Demi in British Elle's cover story. "He's an amazing father to my daughters already, so I have no doubt that if it's in our future, it would be another incredible part of our journey together." One of those daughters is Rumer, age 22. Rumer is closer in age to Ashton than Ashton is to Demi. Demi is back on magazine covers because she's shooting a movie with Miley Cyrus called LOL. This woman has issues with aging, yes? She also poses in bustiers and miniskirts, admits to plastic surgery, and says, "I wish there was a little bit less curiosity and fascination with how I look, whether it's good or bad." [People, NYDN, image via Getty]
  • Speaking of plastic surgery, Amy Winehouse "was in agony and became convinced it had something to do with her boobs," which are 32D silicone implants. She may need to have them removed, although that's what the tabloids said six months ago when she supposed sprung a leak, so I'm thinking Amy's implants are the British tabloids' version of the Montauk monster, a scary thing on which to graft one's craziest nightmares while gasping in horror. [ShowBizSpy]
  • Jersey Shore is getting barred from Miami clubs, throwing a wrench in the filming of their second season. W Hotel, Delano, Shore Club, and the Mondrian won't let them in with MTV's cameras, which makes sense, given how frequently they start bar brawls. Meanwhile, the boys' black Escalade with New York plates emits a dark cloud of terror that sweeps over the locals everywhere they go, which is sad, but will probably make the show even better. These are kids who flourish in adversity. [P6]
  • Jocular @-tweets notwithstanding, Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian are not getting back together. "They're still friends and speak at least twice a week. But there is no chance of them getting back together." Reggie's living the swinging single life already; Kim's busy being a fameball. [P6]
  • Even Nancy Pelosi wants to know what happens to Tiger Woods. In the vicinity of televisions, her entourage "immediately flipped to ESPN to watch Tiger at the Masters" and "kept checking for his scoring updates." [P6]
  • Speaking of the Masters, the guy who runs it criticized Tiger Woods, and Charles Barkley (who is now a sports commentator) retorted with a mixed metaphor, "He's all Uncle Tom, he's the master of the plantation, that piss me off." Uncle Tom was the ass-kissing slave, Charles, not the owner. [TMZ]
  • Tonight Carmine Gotti—Growing Up Gotti star and son of Victoria—turns 24 with a big fancy Manhattan party "where he'll debut 'Jealous,' the first track off his new album." I hope it's rap, so Yo Gotti and Irv Gotti are suddenly confronted by the peculiarities of their stage names. [P6]
  • Frances Bean Cobain left a meeting with the judge who controls her court-ordered block on mother Courtney Love's control "with a big smile." Maybe because she turns eighteen in August, and after that she won't need a court order to keep Love away. She'll just dye her hair, change her phone number, accept an assumed identity, and run. [TMZ]
  • One year after their secret wedding, Fringe costars Anna Torv and Mark Valley have secretly divorced. Secrecy is second nature to them; it comes from playing FBI agents. [People]
  • Betty White is nervous about hosting SNL. In this video, the questioner also asks her if she'll have trouble "staying up that late." Betty responds in a suitably pissed-off fashion. [TMZ]
  • Speaking of Jersey Shore, since they are currently filming a reality show, do these paparazzi pics of The Situation working out qualify as spoilers? So says NYT Magazine's queen of the pop culture think piece, Virginia Heffernan, who writes that "the push-pull between the fact-fiction of reality TV and the fiction-fact of tabloid journalism has become a heady dynamic." She also says sordid details are better than neutered think pieces. In other words, Gossip Roundups are better than the NYT Magazine! We return now to our regular programming of fiction-fact and morally dubious tabloidism. [TMZ, NYTMag]
  • The Wizard of Oz munchkin who sang, "As corner, I must aver, I thoroughly examined her," has did. Meinhard Raabe was 94 years old and living in a Florida retirement community. [NYT via Glib and Bitchy]