Angelina Jolie's massive rump tried to escape her Versace leather pants at a 'Beowulf' premiere, which, by the way, doesn't 'Beowulf' look terrible? [Us Weekly]
Well, he is balding and recently divorced, but the Brokeback Mountain star has one thing going for him: he is totally not Dax Shepard or Dane Cook. That's two things! [Page Six]
Ellen DeGeneres is taking some flak for breaking the WGA strike by going ahead and taping her show, albeit sans monologue. Also maybe she's sort of mean. [Page Six]
Former 'View' cohost Star Jones is finally discussing her gastric bypass surgery openly, telling a fellow stomach-staplee to "let the haters hate," on her show yesterday. A thought, Star: those "jealous, angry" friends might just hate that you lied for years? [HuffPo]
Britney Spears needs a good smack with the Suze Orman stick. Carrying a $50,000-a-month mortgage when you're taking home $737,868 a month is sooooo stupid. Why will no one teach the young women of today anything about finance? If Britney lives past 50 she'll be eating cat food. Chances that she'll live that long are slim anyway. [Page Six]
Why are Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong parading their PDAs around the town's hotspots? Although! Page Six says they were dining at Waverly Inn together on Tuesday—but the photographic evidence says that Ashley was actually dining with Sting, Slash and Stephen Fry. No Lance shows up in the paparazzi photos. [Page Six, Image: Splash Photos]
Britney Spears' mom's ghostwriter wants to make it clear that Lynne "is not a stage mom." The title of the book is "Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World," and it comes out next Mother's Day, so hi, Mom, that is totally what you're getting. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
Michelle Williams is rumored to be joining her estranged husband Heath Ledger in leaving her giant Brooklyn house behind in favor of Manhattan. Time to call up Celebrity Movers! [Page Six]
Owen Wilson will grant his first post-suicide attempt interview tonight—to director Wes Anderson. The chat will be posted at midnight on MySpace. Because blubbering in front of Barbara Walters is so 2005! [USA Today]
