[Harrison Ford shooting the comedy "Morning Glory" in New York yesterday; image via INF]

Rumors of the Goldblum/Ford deaths were greatly exaggerated, David Gregory throws a hissy over Joe Scarborough, Kate Gosselin sports a bikini in the driveway, Kim Kardashian lusts for Megan Fox and Chris Brown and Rihanna want to touch.

• An autopsy is scheduled to be performed on Michael Jackson this morning; just when the results will be back isn't clear. Meanwhile, attention is being focused on the drugs Jackson may have been taking just before he went into cardiac arrest yesterday, a "cocktail" that may have included the powerful narcotic Demerol. [AP, NYP, Sun, TMZ]
• Naturally, Jackson's death has led just about every living celebrity to issue a statement, extend condolences, and/or use otherwise clog up Twitter with some sort of thought on Jackson's passing. [People, Mirror, NYP]
• Jackson was reportedly $500 million in debt when he died. [NYP]
• As for how Jackson's kids are coping with the news, they're supposedly "very upset" but "fine," whatever that means. But no one knows who will take custody of them or if Jackson left behind and instructions. [Sun]
• In the meantime, Jackson's fans have been holding vigils outside the hospital where his body is located, outside the Neverland Ranch, and in front of his childhood home in Gary, Indiana, among other places. [TMZ, TMZ]

Heidi Klum walking along the Hudson with her mom and kids ... Sir Richard Branson and son Sam sitting in front of their hotel in midtown ... Naomi Watts grabbing breakfast in the East Village ... Harrison Ford arriving on the set of Morning Glory in midtown ... Bethenny Frankel feeding apples to a horse across the street from Central Park ... Kara DioGuardi crossing the street en route to an appearance on Live With Regis and Kelly ... and Olivia Palermo posing for photographers after an appearance on the MTV show It's On with Alexa Chung.

• George Clooney went out to celebrate his 48th birthday last week, had too much to drink, and ended up hurling in the VIP area. Clooney denies it was him, though, and says he was just "sitting next to someone who did throw up." [NYDN]
• Cops were called to Lindsay Lohan's house yesterday after a security alarm sounded and officers initially thought the house had been ransacked. It turns out Lindsay always keeps her house that way, which means in addition to everything else, she probably could use a good housekeeper, too. [TMZ]
• Marie Douglas-David has been embroiled in a nasty divorce with her elderly husband George David. Now she has a new man. She's dating a Swedish financier named Johan Saxon, and he's only seven years older than her. [P6]
• Lydia Hearst is going topless—again—in a new movie with Jason Behr. [P6]

• Brooke Shields can't seem to make up her mind about who's to blame for the Kiefer Sutherland-Jack McCollough incident last week. A few days ago, her reps denied she'd been pushed by Jack. But now she says he did bump into her, and that Kiefer "has always been a gentleman" with her. Go figure. [TMZ, NYDN]
• Madonna took her kids to a Mets game on Mother's Day, which was all part of a plan to make Alex Rodriguez jealous, apparently. Also, the singer/diehard baseball fan sat in Jerry Seinfeld's seats and hung out with the Anderson Cooper the whole time, just so you know. [P6]
• More topless photos of Carrie Prejean have surfaced online. [TMZ]
• Barbara Walters wore the same dress to the Time 100 gala and the White House Correspondents' Dinner. The horror! [TMZ]
• Maya Rudolph and PT Anderson are expecting their second child. [People]

Lots of movies have been cast, as have some TV shows. People we like get work (Helo), and people we don't like get work (the Til' Death guys). Plus, the unstoppable Sabato.

Christy Turlington and husband Ed Burns riding the 1 train with their two kids ... Beyonce and Jay-Z going to lunch ... Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart walking with son Liam in the West Village ... Zac Efron arriving at JFK ... Ringo Starr leaving his hotel ... Jennifer Aniston on the set of The Baster ... Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony going to see the Lion King on Broadway ... Holly Madison getting in a car outside her hotel ... Nic Cage filming scenes for his new movie, The Sorcerer's Apprentice ... and Sheryl Crow playng with her son Wyatt outside Pastis.

• Bruce Willis tied the knot with Victoria's Secret model Emma Heming this weekend at his home in Turks & Caicos. He's 54; she's 30. Guests at the wedding included his daughters, Madonna, and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. [NYP, LAT]
• Natasha Bedingfield got married on Saturday, too, to a California businessman in Malibu. [People]
• 64-year-old tech billionaire Jim Clark married his 28-year-old girlfriend this weekend with a four-day event on Richard Branson's Necker Island. Guests included Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber and Ed Norton. [NYP]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart finally got engaged. [People]
• Alas, it's not all happy news: Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. have reportedly broken up. [NYM]

Reality star Jade Goody has died of cancer. Elsewhere, people continue to get married and have babies, or adopt babies and fire those babies' nannies.

A picture deal may be all that stands between octo-mom and a foreclosure,just as a clue from daughter Bee is all that stood between Anna Wintour and a new Katy Perry album.

• Hope you're sitting down for this one. Donald Trump Jr. and his wife Vanessa had a baby yesterday. It was a boy. And he will now bear a burden for the rest of his life: His parents named him Donald J. Trump III. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan is launching a self-tanning line called Stay Gold. Finally! [NYDN]
• "Real Housewife" Bethenny Frankel was spotted using coupons at a hair salon. [P6]
• After dating for about half a century, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart may finally be ready to get hitched. [Cindy Adams]
• Please note that Walter Cronkite is not related to social/art scenester Kipton Cronkite, despite his claims to the contrary. [P6]

· To promote the new Indy 4 tie-in pizza at Papa John's: Veggie Lovers! · As research for his upcoming drama Organic, in which Ford plays a gruff macrobiotic dieter who rescues his kidnapped children with the money quote, "Not in my eco-friendly vegan cafe!" · That's isn't a peapod — it's a green, pustule-covered pointer finger.[Photo Credit: Flynet]

Hollywood has done its fair share of preaching to the political electorate this season, so Moviefone polled 1.1 million of its users to return the favor by electing their favorite screen presidents. They rose to the occasion by selecting Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, and several tremendous idiots. The list, after the jump:

Extra Cheese: While this promotion isn't earning any points with the Abramovitches, VanAirsdales and Buchanans of America, all of you anonymous, overeducated Joneses out there may have an interest in LucasFilm's memo currently making the rounds: "Greetings, On behalf of our promotional partner Papa John's, I wanted to make sure you received the news about their fun Indiana Jones promotion to celebrate today's DVD and Blu-Ray release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It offers a free Papa John's pizza to anyone in the United States named 'Dr. Jones' — and if they live in Indiana, they'll get a DVD as well!" Bon appetit, or something. [TOH]

We knew George Lucas had a taste for franchise-rape, but our relatively proscribed imaginations prevented us from conjuring the horror of Lucas and accomplice Steven Spielberg forcibly tag-teaming Indiana Jones not once, not twice, but three times in 30 minutes. But that's what South Park is for, we guess, where the mandate to get tanked on Crystal Head Vodka™ and crossbreed cinema's most notorious rape scenes with Indy's own violation was thriving nicely in last night's episode. We've culled one-third of the NSFW nightmare for your viewing pleasure after the jump; expect the filmmakers' "He was asking for it" defense to arrive here later in the day. [Comedy Central]

It would be too easy to say that Harrison Ford hit the Crystal Head Vodka a little hard before today's interview at the LA Times; how else to explain his eagerness to jump aboard Indiana Jones 5 so soon after the franchise's fourth installment? He's 66! George Lucas can't settle on a script! And Shia still has months of recovery ahead for his pinkie and balls. All signs but the dollar say "stop," but that's all the actor apparently needed to wax fantastic about the potential pouring forth everywhere from the box office to cereal aisles:

When Americans think about reasons to visit Britain, what usually comes to mind is seeing old castles, eating scones, and drinking tea. But, for celebrities at least, there's another excellent reason: taking magazines to the cleaners! Apparently Jennifer Lopez, Harrison Ford, and Britney Spears are all indulging in "libel tourism," which was inaugurated in 2000 when London-based Russian émigré Boris Berezovsky (more here) took action against Forbes for portraying him as "a brutal thug and crook."

We've already heard enough stars insisting that those sex scenes we find either major turn-ons (Mickey Rourke force-feeding Kim Basinger strawberries on the kitchen floor in 9 1/2 Weeks) or majorly eye-scarring (Heather Graham faking her way through grainy limo thrusts in Boogie Nights) are totally perfunctory while filming. With the massive crew surrounding them, the sudden lighting checks, and simple fact that they've gotta feign spontaneous heat take after take, we've leaned towards taking their word for it. And as it turns out, no matter how big the star or legendary their prowess in the bedroom, even simple kissing scenes with the most gorgeous A-listers around range from "awkward and sweaty" to "slightly icky and sort of wet." Where Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Harrison Ford, Leonardo DiCaprio and more rank on the list of Worst On-Screen Kissers after the jump.

Ah, Father's Day. A day when all of us, rich and poor, famous and anonymous, get together with our families and try to keep our long simmering resentments from boiling over. Kevin Federline celebrated the holiday like so many others, in a kid-free Las Vegas nightclub. Naturally,Federline nabbed a Father of the Year Award at club Prive. In an item that is layered with "WTF?" Us Magazine magazine attempts to explain the inexplicable.