Last year, the FDA released a report that said mercury fillings are totally harmless when lodged into your head forever. But yesterday, an advisory committee told the FDA to look at new data that might suggest otherwise. Go figure.

Lt. Dan Choi, the prominent anti-Don't Ask Don't Tell activist, has been hospitalized following a breakdown. "My breakdown was a result of a cumulative array of stressors," he writes, including the Senate's failure to pass a DADT-repealing bill. [via Towleroad]

Just in case you wondering, a thing called a "fecal transplant" exists, and saves lives. Like most terrible medical phenomena, we can blame poop transplants on Purell moms and the antibiotic-resistant "superbugs" they hath wrought.

Vitamin sleep! Radiation babies! Sugar cereal! Fat Scots! Hotel workouts! Soda tax! Alzheimer's explanations! And the war on drugs pays off! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—if you can call it that!

Anthropology debate! Brain hearing! Jock myth! Unique fingerprints! Estrogen breast-rogen! Smallest battery! And gay mice marriage! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—if you can call it that!

The Johnson & Johnson unit that produces Rolaids® has issued a nationwide recall of the "Softchews" line of the antacid drug after people reported finding pieces of wood and metal inside. Nothing fights stomach pain like tiny metal "particles"!

Ladies, ladies: we have your health report card, and it's not good. According to this, you've been getting drunker, fatter, and sluttier. It's like every woman in America is a freshman in college again. What's your excuse?

Discount drugs! Energy drinks! Capitol Hill junk food! Cancer moneymakers! Meditation depression! Food allergies! Youth sports fat! Baby thumb fat! Soldier fat! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—dipped in Icy Hot, furiously skipping rope!

President Obama's lip has quickly healed from his terrible basketball injury, which required 12 stitches to repair. His lips are once again both supple and divine, so you can stop worrying. Phew! Click to see an extreme close-up, perverts.

If you're one of the thousands of Americans who uses the Weight Watchers system to turn meals into joyless games of caloric Tetris, you probably noticed the rules have changed. No longer is an apple worth 2 points. Everything's weird!

Obesity surgery! Overweight death! Diabetic exercise! Medvedev pull ups! McDonald's health care! DC water! Prostate drugs! Fish oil eyes! Miscarriage hearts! And deaf smoke! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—in stereo-o-oh!

Have you heard about the thrilling new diet where you inject the urine of pregnant women into your body, with a syringe? One lady lost 43 pounds! Unless it was the accompanying 500-calorie dietary restriction. Nah, probably the pee.

Well, some good news. Michael Douglas is returning to work — on a Liberace biopic no less — after undergoing treatment for throat cancer. So that's good! Unfortunately some fellow celebrities aren't faring so well.

Bee colors! Useless vitamins! Bad medicine! Big mammals! Cell trickery! Eating kids! Deer danger! And something else extremely boring! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—and try not to doze off, because dang!

Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah is the worst. "Bomb Iraq," he tells us one day, "bomb Iran" the next. What a jerk! And now he's rented himself an entire New York hospital wing to recover from surgery, while everyone else dies.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that life expectancy/income across the world was less in 1810 than in 2010, but how—and where—did the statistics tick up over time? In this stunningly visual presentation, Hans Rosling explains.

Baby radiation! Benadryl doom! AIDS pill! Boomer sex! Large 'n lovely! Birth defects! Attitude gratitude! Youth strength! Salt intake! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with unrestrained glee, and that's not a teevee show!

No Darvon! Airport smoking! Lou Gehrig's disease! Gym grunting! Flu shots! Racewalking! Nigerian curses! And mental illness is a call to arms! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while hallucinating and self-medicating in a nonstop cycle!

Science Guy! NASA machine! Heart drug! Rapid feedback! Skinny death! Meteor shower! And fake exercise myths from fake exercise scientists! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—pseudoscientifically!

After a fun campaign of widespread panic resulting in four state bans and an irresistible opportunity for political grandstanding, it looks like the FDA is set to ban caffeinated alcohol drinks once and for all—everywhere in America.