A woman was arrested in New York on Friday for illegally injecting women with silicone "for breast and buttocks enhancement," and she even charged one customer $1,000 who "fainted within hours of the procedure." [Business Insider]

Johnson & Johnson has recalled 50 million bottles of Tylenol and other products due to a "cleaning problem" at a production plant. Gross.

Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, who was shot point-blank in the head six days ago, keeps making ridiculous progress in her recovery. She's still in critical condition, but doctors' expectations keep rising.

Today's episode of Dr. Phil brought the conclusion of the incredibly hyped, two-day Ted Williams familiy trouble/rehab saga. During it, Dr. Phil held a one-on-one intervention of sorts and asked a reluctant and scared Williams to go straight into treatment.

McDonald's (formerly "The United States Department of Health") has plans for Japan. Big plans. Idaho big. With a hash brown on top.

Fever benefits! Zicam problems! Chemo hair preservation! Oxytocin limits! Flu vaccines! Obesity costs! Mental illness wackjobs! Fluid colds! And screen hypnosis death! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—as if you have any left!

Oh, excess fluoride in drinking water is actually damaging children's teeth. Sorry!

Not only are Uggs probably ruining your feet and, like, totally over, but now some doctors say they breed foot fungus that can seep into your toe nails and is hard to get rid of. Give them a rest, already!

A new FDA rule will force tobacco companies to disclose any changes they've made to their wicked products in the last four years. Hassle! Interference! Big government out of flavor country! But there is some great news for Newport smokers.

Courage theories! Sea drugs! Self-doubt conquering! Multi-species jet lag! True hair colors! The fattest place on earth! Dumb babies! And rovers that just won't quit! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—while "doing the robot," with words!

Fat babies! European fake cigarettes! Brain-blaming! Japan-tic Chantix antics! Yoga boozing! Cancer tests! Druggy weight loss drugs! And dumb god anger! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while ordering toddlers to assume the push-up position!

Celeb fit myths exposed! Energy Kitchens everywhere! The 94 year-old daddy diet! Republicans embrace exercise! Feeble gymgoing works! Workaday workouts! Man loses weight! And your New Year's resolution, exposed! It's your Thursday Fitness Watch, where we watch fitness—2010 style!

A new study by the British Heart Foundation found that in the year 2000, the average British man was 16.9 pounds heavier than in 1986. The reason? Eating lots of shitty food and getting less exercise. You don't say! [BBC]

Everyone thinks that the placebo effect works only because people think they're taking a real, working drug. But a new study seems to indicate that people who are taking placebos feel better even when they know the pills don't work.

The majority of Americans officially had "difficult" childhoods. It all fits.

Over the past decade, the percentage of college students visiting school counseling centers who are "coping with serious mental illness" has more than doubled. What's happening here? Better legal psychiatric drugs? Worse illegal hallucinogenic drugs? Psht. We blame Wal-Mart.

Midwest sandwich franchise Jimmy John's—subs so fast you'll freak!—is under scrutiny for a salmonella outbreak from alfalfa sprouts that has sickened nearly 50 people in Illinois. Maybe they should slow down a bit and watch the produce? [FPJ]

To entice donors to join a bone marrow registry, a company sent out "flirtatious models...who, for reasons that remain unclear, sometimes also wore electric-blue wigs." Then when dudes sign up, their insurance is billed $4,300. Now that's strategic. [NYT]

Jon Stewart blasted Republicans on Monday for blocking legislation to provide health care benefits to 9/11 first responders (video). Tonight—his last show of the year—Stewart continued his criticism of Congress and the media for ignoring the issue.

Staph inequality! DNA play okay! Probiotic neurotics! Supplement spikers! Sickening food! Fearless women! Caffeine kids! Young anorexics! And heart disease news for the old-person demographic! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with a little something extra!