So maybe weed is bad for you, but on the other hand, drinking is good for you! If you're a middle-aged woman having a drink or two in the afternoon. Which—let's be honest—you are.

Popey roids! Sex at work! Sex placebo! High stress women! Foodie fashionistas! Fish oil doubts! Salty teens! And old people can get as high as they want! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—ecclesiastically!

A San Franciscan proposed a ballot initiative prohibiting child circumcision, saying, "it's a man's body," and "his body doesn't belong to his culture... or even his parents." So circumcision is, politically the new abortion. The bumper stickers should get interesting.

Dog treatment! Nail chemicals! Tetris PTSD! Obesity bro advice! Birth control stroke! Exercise cancer! ADHD skyrockets! Protein benefits! Kids stress! Lady gout! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—traumatically!

Under a law signed by President Obama last June, all cigarette packs sold in the U.S. must have anti-smoking messages covering 50% of the front of the package starting next year. Here's what the FDA is proposing.

Fitness myths! Crystal diet! Fat marathons! Kiddie runs! Happy Meals! Carnivore cancer! Wine diet! Boxing girls! And your daily inspiration to make you feel ashamed! It's your Monday Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—comparatively poorly!

Old-fashioned STD tests are too slow and awkward for British youth, so the government's funding a computer chip you pee on and attach to your phone for an instant diagnosis. You don't even have to leave your favorite nightclub bathroom!

A new study shows that two-thirds of restaurant workers go to work when sick, meaning customers are exposed to disgusting working class germs. The outrage! It's almost as if restaurant workers don't get paid if they don't go to work.

A new study released in the medical journal Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology has some disturbing figures about people who intentionally swallow foreign objects — pens, batteries, knives, razor blades and such — and the health care costs they incur.

Cheap drugs! Running spiritually! Whining patients! Catching lung cancer! Electro-trainers! Peanut allergy babies! Animal diseases! Outliving Brits! And the flu shot conspiracy! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while munching on whatever catches our fancy!

Dream diets! Asthma surgery! Concussion guidelines! Exercise colds! Depression reruns! Robot hands! Bluffer brains! And kitty kitty kitty cats cats cats! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while pandering to cute addicts!

This is going to sit well with Republicans: Next month a panel will meet to discuss the possibility of providing women with free contraception under the health care bill. Excellent news! The TV pundit yelling matches should be great. [AP]

Once-promising diet drug Qnexa was rejected by the Food and Drug Administration yesterday because its side effects can include "suicidal thoughts, heart palpitations, memory lapses and birth defects." Well, that sounds like every other drug commercial on TV, doesn't it?

As we have pointed out in the past, "juice cleanses" are bullshit, scams peddled by sharps to to sucker the desperate. Still, today brings yet another first-person trend story about juice cleansing. But—progress is being made!

Breast taxes! Cortisone effects! Toxic prisons! Glaxo whistleblowers! Manhattan noise! Personalized therapies! HuffPo quackery! And the Army vs. suicide! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with pharmacologically-inspired positive mental attitude!

Heavy smoking during middle age greatly increases your risk of Alzheimer's disease. And your dirtbag factor.

Radioactive cancer! Marathon runners! Allergic Raisinets! Bad doctors! Deadly medicine! Teens fucking! Depressed moms! Tasty lungs! And whooping cough that never goes away! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but only if that baby shuts up!

Point Comfort, Texas is home to an Alcoa alumina plant, which spews clouds of red dust into the air, coating residents' clothes and and eating the paint off their cars. But don't worry because it's not harmful, says Alcoa. [AP]

A new survey finds most people think hand sanitizer works for an hour or more. Actually, it only protects for two minutes. "The best germicidal thing you can do is wash with soap and water," says a doc. [NYDN]