The Swedish government has ordered a Swedish Hells Angels member (!?) to repay medical benefits after he committed crimes that would have been impossible given the back condition he claimed. This will happen all the time under Obama's health plan!

You have to appreciate a doctor that doesn't mind getting a little messy for the message of good health. Today on Dr. Oz, we learned not only should we stomp on grapes... but we should rub them on our face.

Monster making! Russian warming! Frog mountains! Bat extinction! Multiple sclerosis! Hurricane season! Quantum entanglement! Pet meds! And Polish geologists! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch your science—while screwing in a light bulb, all alone!

Healthy bullets! Healthy gay blood! Healthy weed! Healthy ticks! Healthy yoga! Healthy ketamine! Healthy magazines! And completely unhealthy sperm of the deceased! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but not that closely, that's gross!

It wouldn't be summer without hot dogs and bologna sandwiches, right? Well, you might want to think twice before eating processed meats, because the nitrites and nitrates used to preserve, color and flavor them could cause bladder cancer.

If you're like me, you may have just *assumed* that if a chemical is being manufactured in large quantities and placed in your breakfast cereal, there would be *some* evidence that it will not kill you. Not true at all!

Just after the end of World War Two, the US Army dumped 16,000 mustard gas bombs in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Hawaii. But don't worry, they have a solution: Just leave it where it is!

Plus-size madness! Dorky yogis! Socializing for health! Dangerous bats! Unhealthy vegans! And hardcore hotness! It's your Thursday Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—while staying hydrated!

Claiming it's just gymnastic exercise and has no sexual connotation—plus the class is open to boys—the Up Yer Pole pole-dancing academy offers classes to kids as young as six. Child fitness: good. Pole writhing: questionable? Who knows. [via]

First, there was the War on Smoking. That got boring. Now, there's the War on Obesity. And everyone is forgetting about smoking altogether! Well, what do you expect, when the obese are out of control?

A group of scientists at the University of Sheffield have concluded a groundbreaking new study that claims "frequently" drinking alcohol eases pain from rheumatoid arthritis and can even make the disease less severe. Imagine that... booze dulls pain!

Botanical diversity! Fights for love! Killer asteroids! Toe chop hazards! Environmental justice! Huge rats! Sniffing communication! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch your science—fairly or not!

Mutant head lice scoff at over the counter treatments, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Despite the fact that old people are mathematically closer to death than the rest of us, they just keep clinging to life—and taxpayer dollars. Finally, that may be changing. But the olds are living longer than ever. Thanks, jerks!

There's nothing like grabbing a hot dog, a $12 beer and enjoying a ball game, right? Well, as long as you don't mind the possibility of "mouse excreta" or some dead fruit flies as an extra topping.

The Coca-Cola Company has tried to have a lawsuit thrown out that claims Vitaminwater® is really just sugar water, but a federal court yesterday said the company has violated FDA regulations and will allow the lawsuit to proceed.

Obesity life stage suggestions! Safe vaginal birth! West Nile everywhere! Hep C hope! Strong like a garbage man! Dangerous like makeup! Deadly like fungus! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while keeling over!

AIDS safety! Breast cancer bad and worse news! Doctors who share! Mastering the world of dreams! And horrible sad facts of life! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while living (for now)!

Heart attack triathlons! EZ-fix knees! Swimming keeps you alive! Fat mixing! Fitness cruise! Post-baby bodies! And the only weightlifting tips you'll ever need to watch! It's your Monday Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—while sipping opium-laced lard juice!

Evil monster Dick Cheney has obtained "a new heart device," for his real heart is dead.