Instead of rolling up with your coworkers behind the Ale House dumpsters, you could smoke your reefer the true American way this 4/20: Head west and light a spliff for freedom!

For reasons not related to sports or logic, I was sent across the country to cover the 2011 High Times Medical Cannabis Cup in Denver this past weekend. The event, held in a place called the Exdo Event Center that allegedly transformed into a gay nightclub once the sun set, featured an awards show for 45 indicas, 36 sativas, 50 hybrids, 26 concentrates, and 25 edibles from Colorado dispensaries. If you don't really know what those terms mean, it's okay: this event was primarily for professionals. And no matter how much pot you smoked in college, bro, I can now say with certainty that it does not make you a professional in the field of medical cannabis. There were seminars for legal issues and consumer rights, cultivation lessons, and a panel discussion on the ins and outs of the "Cannabusiness." And there was a giant tent — which required either a Denver medical marijuana card or a vendor's pass to enter — filled with marijuana for medicating purposes. The only rule, once you were in? No selling and no giving away of the marijuana. The tent was only for sharing. Welcome to the Medical Cannabis Cup.

[Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong expend their precious few remaining brain cells for the cameras at last night's Stony Awards sponsored by High Times. Image via Getty]

Jacob Isom's dream has come true. The rattail-coiffed hero who snatched a kerosene-soaked Koran from wannabe burners is featured prominently on the website of his favorite magazine, High Times, today. His message: "Burn Buds, Not Books."

Breaking: After yesterday's report that rattail-coiffed Koran savior Jacob Isom's dream was to be featured in High Times, the doobie denizens agreed to feature our rattail-coiffed hero in the pages of their vaunted magazine.

Jacob Isom—the rattail-coiffed hero who swiped a Koran from right-wing fanatics and ran—has a dream. "I want to be in High Times," he told me by telephone. Then he showed me a t-shirt screenprinted with his face.

In your momentous Monday media column: Conde Nast mag closure rumors continue to leak, everybody's selling weed these days, the Amish organize their newspapers in an insane manner, and a "joke," about J-school!

Swimming champion and amateur bud enthusiast Michael Phelps will not face charges stemming from the infamous bong picture that recently surfaced. Eight of his fellow partygoers, previously arrested for possession, have been cleared.

Steve Hager, the editor of High Times, is reportedly being pushed out of his position. He's been asked to "vacate his office for the next two months as the magazine's parent company Trans High Corp. decides how to proceed." Two months to make the decision. Christ, you people are high. [CelebStoner]

At last night's regional U.S. Air Guitar Championships, Gawker videocamera-haver Alex Goldberg caught up with High Times editor Bobby Black. Guess what? Dude smokes a lot of pot!

In the first edition of the Dining section since 4/20, stoners will be happy to find that the section is devoted to greenage. Is that weed or cress on the cover? Only one man knows, and that man is the future King of England. Also known as your highness. Kim Severson brings us the facts on the King of the Hippies, which is a lot like being the King of the Gypsies except realer. First of all, dude's into "hedge laying." Second of all, he lives in a place called Highgrove. Third of all, he makes biscuits and other munchies under the label Duchy Originals. But perhaps most convincingly: For a royal, every day's Friday, and he ain't got no job and he ain't got shit to do. He's gotta get high.—Josh

While the rest of the country spent most of last week dressing their Roman-Candle wounds, the Vanity Fair softball team was making history on the diamond, schooling the world-renowned High Times Bonghitters, 8-5. The stoners took an early lead in the game, but it didn't take long for the Veefers to exact their vengeance for May's 13-4 loss to the Bonghitters.

In all the excitement Friday about Richard Johnson and Andy Pemberton and Leon Freilich's impending vacation, we somehow missed an important report in our inbox:

One wouldn't accuse the Vanity Fair softball team of being prompt with its postgame reports — they work at a monthly, after all, and you know the flexible relationship those kinds of people have with deadlines — but you've got to give them some credit: They're now posting reports on the public VF site, and they've even got pictures. In the Veefers' Rashomonic look at last week's tilt against High Times, the Bonghitters still win but the prose is more flowery.

The High Times softball team continues to steamroll its way through the media competition, pulling out a 13-4 win over the Vanity Fair squad last night. Editor-at-large Steve Bloom has a wrapup of the game, but there's no mention of VF's sartorial choices. We presume Graydon's kids wore tartan-plaid uniforms, and we further presume they looked spectacular.

As if isn't bad enough that The New Yorker took home only two National Magazine Awards last night, the far worse news is that the mag's softball team suffered its eighth straight loss to the fabled High Times Bonghitters. One bright spot: Apparently they've got spiffy new personalized uniforms.

BusinessWeek's less-streaming report is after the jump.

The first media softball of the season arrived this morning:

• Esquire's geeky guinea pig A.J. Jacobs wikis the shit out of himself and his publication. Book deal TK. [News.com]
• Does South Beach need its own Bret East Ellis? And will someone please step up to the plate besides Wenner Media's Gwen Cooper? [MNT]
• If the impossibly adorable Mandy Moore is, in fact, in Silver Hill for rehab, then we're throwing in the towel. We simply cannot save these people, no matter how hard we try. [Bricks and Stones]
• New York gets movie-script level edgy. [NYP]
• That bastion of high design, Fox News, is hiring a new graphic design guru. Live the dream, young conservative art fags. [Craigslist]
• High Times Stony Awards is, none too surprisingly, more entertaining, snack-filled than the Oscars. [The Reeler]
• Us Weekly editor Janice Min is after your kids. It was inevitable, really. [Radar]

• Britain's Sky television plans on showing a Kate Moss documentary that includes actual footage of the supermodel blowing her couture rails. We're not sure this is worth your time; if you simply print out all the images from the Mirror and assemble them, in order, you can have a handy animated flipbook. Much cooler, we think. [Reuters]
• It's a dream come true: High Times is looking for an editorial assistant. Now if only interested parties were motivated enough to put together a resume. [Craigslist]
• Clear your mind. Inhale, exhale, and go blank. Now: What's the first phrase that pops into your head? "Christian Mime Ministry?" Why, us too! [AllThingsChristie]
• You might find this hard to believe, but Jackass sidekick Steve-O got drunk. On television. Crazy, we know — but at least worth a snickering watch. [CC Insider]