Last night at a club called Element, on Houston Street, a line formed in the rain. Everyone in line was on the list for a free Smirnoff-sponsored concert featuring Common, Q-Tip, and KRS-ONE. The fact that everyone was on the list made them that much more put off that the doors opened 45 minutes late. "I'm with Diageo," moaned one girl. "I don't do lines."
Yesterday, a man named Clive Campbell filed a wacky $5 billion lawsuit against rap star and partial New Jersey Nets owner Jay-Z, as well as others associated with the huge Atlantic Yards construction project in downtown Brooklyn (which includes a new stadium for the Nets). The charge was that because Barclay's bought naming rights to the stadium, and was possibly involved in the slave trade way back when, everyone involved was illegally profiting from slavery. So that will be dismissed quickly. More interesting: Clive Campbell is the real name of DJ Kool Herc, the old school master widely credited as the founder of hip hop. So outlets started reporting that Kool Herc was suing Jay-Z—intergenerational hip hop madness! But then it came out that this was a different Clive Campbell [Gothamist]. Too bad, cause that would have been crazy. Now Jay-Z can turn his attention to warding off this "Voodoo Priestest"!:
When Fabolous was gunned down in Flatiron earlier this week, we were shaken in so many ways that one could be shaken, and could not help but think of other New York rappers whose skins were pierced by bullets. Neither could New York mag's Daily Intelligencer, who listed the "illustrious pantheon of New York MCs to get caught up with violence and cops". But there is one glaring omission, points out Razor Apple: Notorious B.I.G.
As if we needed any more signs that New York has become pretty irrelevant on the hip hop map, Brooklyn rapper Fabolous attempted to generate publicity for his upcoming album, but fell short of full martyrdom and was arrested for his troubles, according to WCBS. He remains in less than fab, but stabulous condition.
• Us Weekly "breaks the news" that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston have split, noting that the relationship soured shortly after the late-June engagement. The same engagement that Us announced and Aniston denied, coincidentally. But who cares? Now there's meaty quotes from "insiders" and "close friends," and you can't argue with that sort of evidence. [Us Weekly]
• Paris and some other skank claw each other's eyes out. For the record, we fully support the yanking of weaves. [TMZ]
• If Kevin Federline and Britney Spears get divorced, he'll get $10 million. So unless Brit's 4-weeks pregnant again, expect K-Fed to be fucking Vegas hookers every weekend. It's win-win. How is that God so brightly smiled upon this guy? [Page Six]
• ABC shelled out six-figures in "licensing fees" to Crocodile Widow Teri Irwin, just so Barbara Walters could fly to Australia and piss off the locals. [R&M]
• Now that Jacob the Jeweler is facing charges of money-laundering, very few of his hip-hop clients are coming forward to support him. Wonder why. [Lowdown]
• Former Miss Seventeen contestant Brianna Burrows scored an internship with the magazine but left the gig "traumatized." She also claims EIC Atoosa Rubenstein threatened her, and 21-year-old Burrows is now prepping a legal team — just the kind of youth empowerment we like to hear about. [Page Six]
Breaking: We're hearing that Kevlar spokesman and hip-hop role model 50 Cent, innocently driving his silver Lamborghini just like any of us would, has been arrested on the corner of 35th and 8th, possibly for cocaine. Per usual, this is completely uncomfirmed, based on rumor and hearsay — and yet totally believable.
As a sign of solidarity with Hova, new Observer owner Jared Kushner has released the following statement:
• Angelina Jolie has officially stolen Jennifer Aniston's Oscar vehicle. She'll play Mariane Pearl, the widow of murdered Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl — a role originally written for Aniston. Stolen manchild Brad Pitt will produce, then continue to scratch his ass. [Gatecrasher]
• Radio jock Wendy Williams reveals Method Man's wife is battling cancer, sending the Wu Tang rapper into a lengthy rant on an online hip-hop station. If it had been on Hot97, someone would've been shot by now. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• The hunger makes Ellen Pompeo crazy: she refuses to do interviews with other Grey's Anatomy cast members and jumps out of a car in the midst of a screaming match with her boyfriend. [Page Six]
• TomKat have had a very exciting, great, amazing and redundant year. [Us Weekly]
• Jackie Chan is sorry he's such a drunk. If you were the star of The Tuxedo, you'd be an alcoholic too. [IMDb]
• Stuck in Lebanon amidst warfare, celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain makes one last call to his ex-girlfriend to tell her that he's okay. [Page Six]
• Mr. T renounces gold chains. Welcome to the summer news slowdown, people. [TMZ (3rd item)]
If you happened to see any of the sensitive local tabloid covers from yesterday, you know that Lil' Kim gained a little weight in the slammer. Unlike Martha Stewart, who emerged from prison looking wonderfully svelte, Lil' Kim's time behind bars was spent perfecting her corpulence (alas, it's been reported that the rapper nevertheless spent her Independence Day dining on barbecued chicken and ribs). Such is what happens when starstruck wardens are begging to give you their food. Kim also told the Post that during her time in prison, her fellow inmates regularly brought her breakfast in bed and tailored her jumpsuit. You didn't think the Queen Bee would go to prison and not be the lead bulldyke on the block, did you?
At least someone's free today: Lil' Kim, the bulbous rapper who has spent the past 10 months in the Phildelphia Federal Detention Center, has finally reasserted her street cred enough to be released back into the wild. Kim was sentenced to one year and one day behind bars for perjury and conspiracy stemming from a 2001 gunfight outside of, naturally, the Hot 97 building, when her posse crossed paths with rival Foxy Brown's posse. Kim got out this morning at 6 AM, appearing in an "all-white, cleavage-baring outfit," thus demonstrating to would-be prisoners how to manipulate the lonely lesbian-driven system into an early release.
• Try and follow: At an impromptu Prince performance at Butter, Lindsay Lohan follows her mortal enemy Paris Hilton into the bathroom. They have a big fight, because bathroom activities make you edgy and angry. Lohan returns to the main room to find Diddy sitting at her table, and jokingly asks what he's doing there. Diddy doesn't see the humor and yells at her to get out. There's a scuffle with his bodyguards, and Lohan is removed from the table. Later, at Bungalow 8, Lohan and Hilton sit at separate tables and compete to see who can stay at the club the longest. This item has been brought to you by D.A.R.E. [R&M]
• After having Cristal removed from his 40/40 clubs, Jay-Z continues his revenge on the champagne company, whose executives don't exactly love the hip-hop community's loyalty to the brand. At his performance on Sunday, Jigga will change the lyrics in his many songs that mention Cristal. Keep an eye out for creative pronunciations of "pistol." [Page Six]
• Incoming Today show host Meredith Vieira deems Dan Rather's ill-executed exit from CBS as "tacky." She's talking to you, Katie. [Lowdown]
• 75-year-old Robert Evans tallies up his seventh divorce. If he can stay alive long enough, maybe the eight marriage will be the charm. [MSNBC]
• Nicole Kidman may move to Keith Urban's rural Tennessee home, where she'll be free to get pregnant without fear of divorce. [Fox411]
• Because in the end, gay means quality, Superman gets decent reviews. [IMDb]
• Completely unsubstantiated but nonetheless interesting: Are Jay-Z and Beyonce officially over? Does Jigga prefer the less-bootylicious Rihanna? Will Beyonce's dad resolve the issue with a shotgun? [Social Rank]
• Like an udder on a thick-lipped cow, Anderson Cooper milks his interview with Angelina Jolie, airing tomorrow night. He clarifies that People's $4 million Shiloh fee did not include a guarantee that he'd get first interview; rather, Jolie picked the Coop because she knew he wouldn't try to do her. [360 Blog]
• It's Christmas in June: Danny Meyer's ShackCam goes live! Updated every 5 seconds, it's the ultimate tool in planning your meal schedule. May it bring all of Manhattan together and working towards organizing dining, so as to forevermore avoid intolerable lines. [Eater]
• One of Brooklyn's beloved Jonathans writes an open, overwrought letter to Frank Gehry; if all the Jonathans would combine their powers, they could create a Super Letter, so strung-out that not even the most hardened developer could look away. [Slate
• What if Brokedown Palace involved a pair of jeans? [Wired]
• You can now purchase a clear cube full of authentic NYC garbage. Just goes to show that if you package a turd properly, someone will buy it. [NYC Garbage]
• GMA kisses Prince's boots, builds him a fortress. [OAN]
• Edward Champion ups the Okrent cocksucking metaphor to slightly uncomfortable, albeit satirical, levels. [EdRants]
• Performance art on a Monday morning is simply unacceptable. [Animal]
• Crackheadz Gone Wild: New York features raw, uncensored footage of local drug addicts on spring break, going crazy for Mardi Gras beads. [Metro]
Last month, Power 105.1 radio host Star threatened to urinate on the daughter of Hot 97's DJ Envy, saying on air, "I would like to do an R. Kelly on your seed, on your little baby girl." Star was promptly fired, but yesterday his attorney, seeking to have criminal charges against Star dropped, told the Daily News that Star's comments were in response to Envy's sidekick Miss Jones' on-air comments about Star. Jones allegedly called Star's mother a "prostitute" and his father a "tar black" "Sambo." And now, today, those on Team Star are taking to the Hot97 building, where every hip-hop star goes for a good shooting, to defend Star's desire to molest DJ Envy's daughter. After all, that bitch started it.
• The cameras of TMZ.com never rest: last week they caught Brandon Davis waxing philosophical on the nature of Lindsay Lohan's crotch, this week they document the LA nightlife backlash as a woman screams at him to take a shower and derides him for getting his money "from daddy." As if that's an insult? [TMZ]
• Former New Jersey governor and proud 'mo Jim McGreevy reads excerpts from his new book, an erotic tale of his anonymous rest stop hookups. [Star-Ledger]
• Quote of the day, courtesy of Ghostface Killa: "New York be bullshitting. Right now, I say fuck New York. Yeah, I'm from New York, but fuck New York. Because niggas is pussy." [Prefix]
• In live theater, distracting the actors just might get you backstage, where you can confuse David Schwimmer and piss off Zeljko Ivanek. [BroadwayWorld]
• Life imitates art, at least if you're a Sopranos fan: the body of a man who'd been beaten to death was found behind the Cafe Bada Bing. [NYT]
• As Memorial Day weekend draws near, the four horsemen of the Hamptons apocalypse prepare to open their doors to thousands of devoted Wet Seal fans. [NYM]
• A bird flu awareness night in Newark is marked by a chicken wing eating contest. In Jersey, the jokes just write themselves. [Newark Bears]
Money can't buy class, but it can buy this place.
