If you're looking for that item that Howard was complaining about on the air this morning, it's here. Oh, and feel free to stop emailing us. You're outraged. We get it. Thanks!

Think the economy would have made some people think twice before spending stacks of money on elaborate nuptials? Not so, according to the Daily News, which reports that not only are people still having full-blown weddings, they're increasingly doing it twice. Needless to say, celebrities are leading the trend, including Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky, and Jessica Alba and Cash Warren. [NYDN]

CNBC headed out to the Hamptons a couple of weeks ago to meet up with Howard Stern and soon-to-be wife Beth Ostrosky at a Hamptons magazine party celebrating—what else?—Beth Ostrosky on the cover of the mag. As the reporters from CNBC tell it, Howard and Beth are the Hamptons hot "It" couple and they've had an absolutely storybook romance (although, as you'll see, the account of their romantic first meeting leaves out the fact that Howard was very much married at the time). Now they spend time on the East End because, says Beth, her "favorite part of being in the Hamptons is the wildlife." (And by animals, she means the sort that run around on four legs, not the sort that line up outside Dune in Southampton on a Saturday night). Howard and Beth's passion for themselves—and cute animals—below.

• The biggest loser in the Jimmy Kimmel-Sarah Silverman breakup? Howard Stern, who sounds despondent about the split. He was supposed to hang out with the couple on vacation last week, but they never showed, and when Howard later heard the news, he was so upset he had to take a walk to calm down. [Page Six]

Someone at the New York Times is clearly keeping up with the British media, where there hasn't been a single features department in the past week that hasn't tackled the trend piece du jour: Everyone's got tattoos! The Guardian served up a piece about how chicks can be tattoo artists too. (Glad they cleared that up!) The London Times revealed—shock!—that lots of celebrities have tattoos? For its part, the Telegraph took the opportunity to remind readers that body art isn't usually all that clever and you'll probably end up regretting it. But Kate Torgovnick at the Times outdoes everyone with her Styles piece about Jews and tattoos, which explodes the widespread myth that you can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery with tattoos:

• Cynthia Rodriguez thinks her husband hired private investigators to spy on her and tap her phones, and now she wants his lawyers to hand over whatever they found. [NYP]

You know when you get really hungry and you're just dying for a delicious, rich, chocolatey piece of... Allen Grubman? Yes, indeed, you can pick up a slice of "Allen Grubman Double Chocolate Pudding Pie" at the tourist trap the Brooklyn Diner on West 57th Street. (It happens to be a block from Grubman's office.) Here are a few other dishes named after local boldface names.

• Is Madonna have a secret romance with Alex Rodriguez? The two have been spending late nights together at her apartment and they've been spotted working out together, too. Rodriguez's wife Cynthia can't be pleased by any of this. [Us]

Gorgeous and magical Alanis Morrisette stopped by "The Howard Stern Show" Friday, where she discussed her break-up with loser Ryan Reynolds-who her band, Howard, and Artie Lang all hate-as well her experimentations with lesbianism. Clip after the jump.

• Beth Ostrosky loves sharing wedding details. Howard Stern's almost-wife says she and the shock jock will be inviting 150 guests to an October wedding in the city, and she'll be wearing a Marchesa dress that she's been discussing with Georgina Chapman. Oh, and the happy couple plans to adopt more dogs since Howard says he's not having any more kids. [Page Six]

• Rosie O'Donnell called into the Howard Stern radio show yesterday to end her longtime feud with the shock jock, but not before stirring up new controversy. She now says that View producers—including Barbara Walters—threatened to sue her, which show producers deny. Then she went home and blogged about it. [MSNBC]

• Longtime drug addict Tatum O'Neal was busted for buying crack near her Lower East Side apartment on Sunday night. [NY Post]

After buying CNET for $1.8 billion, CBS CEO Les Moonves is getting around to inspecting his new property next Tuesday, we hear. Moonves is visiting CNET's San Francisco headquarters to address the troops. So far, beaten-down CNETters, weary of the fight with hedge fund Jana Partners, seem mostly supine in CBS's embrace. Show some spirit, guys! We suggest testing your new CBS overlords' sense of humor by wearing some 2006-vintage "I Hate Les Moonves" T-shirts, from the days of his tussles with Howard Stern. Ironically retro, of course.

Click to viewWe really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. "Aristocrats" session around Bob Saget's jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it's hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released this statement in response:

While we haven't been avid listeners of Howard Stern since he made the switch to Sirius a few years back (call us crazy or even cheap, but we're morally opposed to paying for radio), we still follow the show pretty closely. And as anyone who has been paying attention knows, Stern sidekick Artie Lange has been on a self-destructive streak for the better part of the last nine or so months. His weight has been ballooning, his already prolific drug habit has only gotten worse and his on-air behavior has become more erratic than ever before. However, things reached Defcon 6 levels on today's show when Artie flew into a rage, got into a physical confrontation with his personal assistant and abruptly (and from the sounds of it, tearily) resigned from the show. Audio of the incident follows after the jump.

The self-described "King of All Media" and archetypal shock jock, in 2005 Stern vanished from the public airwaves for the cushy confines of Sirius Satellite Radio. His wife is Beth Ostrosky.

Many of our readers are probably too young to remember this, but there was a time, at the turn of '90s, when rapidly calcifying action star Sylvester Stallone and trap-jawed she-ninja Janice Dickinson were very much in love. It all ended badly, with a Versace catwalkside showdown after Sly learned the paternity of their supposed love child belonged to another man, leaving a shattered Dickinson sobbing into an oversized shoulder pad as she realized he was never coming back. Earlier this month, the modeling agency owner joined Fox News's Red Eye, where she said, "He juiced me. I'd wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye - steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone], 'Hey, it's not that good 'cause you get really big, you know what I mean?" Stallone addressed the allegations on Howard Stern's show yesterday:

This afternoon I had the pleasure of going on former HarperCollins imprint-haver and If I Did It-making-happener Judith Regan's Sirius radio show. She's fun! By which I mean, she didn't hit me! And she confirmed that she couldn't stand the HarperCollins HR department. And also? She looks like a million bucks. She really does. (She is 54.) I didn't have time to ask her for beauty tips (we were too busy talking about how poorly I was dressed and why I want to defame people all the time and of course our book) but the internet provides some answers. I had thought perhaps it was a deal with Satan! But instead: It's coffee enemas with Howard Stern co-host Robin Quivers!

Page Six honcho Richard Johnson just called into Howard Stern's Sirius radio show. Apparently Howard is miffed because Page Six has been writing bad items about him. Um, as far as Howard recalls, there was something about Howard getting cold feet on his wedding, something about him wearing dentures (which actually turned out to be his anti-bruxism nightguard), and an item about some crazy cab driver who says he has Howard Stern porn? Eesh. Howard says they're "all lies." So Richard Johnson says he has no agenda against Howard. And Howard says, so let's print some real items! And Richard's all, great, gimme some! Aww. That is so sweet.

Everyone's favorite weeping Britney fan YouTube guy is on the phone with Howard Stern right now. He's talking about why he doesn't like Perez Hilton—he and Perez are no longer speaking over Britney. He thinks Britney is "the best singer"—better even than Courtney Love. And: "Who can think of 9/11 at a time like this? Britney, she is a national treasure." Also he is discussing why he likes anal sex. Apparently he is a top, in the gay parlance. He says he'll be on CNN and The View today. Busy!