♦ Are Madonna and Guy Ritchie really divorcing? It might be another rumor or really a Sun exclusive, but the British tabloid says they plan to announce the split as soon as today. [The Sun]
♦ Christie Brinkley is suing Peter Cook for violating the couple's confidentiality agreement by talking about their relationship on 20/20. [NYP]
♦ The "mystery illness" that's caused Janet Jackson to cancel tour dates is supposedly a vestibular migraine, which "induces the sensation of vertigo." The good news is that now she's apparently cured. [ET]
♦ Raffaello Follieri's lawyers yesterday asked a judge to "go easy" on Raffaello in exchange for his quick return to Italy where he'll "never be heard from again." Ha! [NYDN]
♦ The 40-year-old CEO of a company called Future Tech Enterprise on Long Island is actually paying $20,000 to box Michael Lohan. And Stephen Baldwin is now planning to serve as the match judge. [Newsday via NYO]

♦ Is Lauren Bush supporting Barack Obama? Maybe. The niece of the president praised the Democratic nominee in a recent interview and she decided against using her family name for her new clothing line, Lauren Pierce, taking her grandmother's maiden name instead. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are either engaged or splitting up, depending on what you read. [Daily Mail, MSN]
♦ Marc Jacobs is supposedly jealous that his ex, Jason Preston, is dating someone else, even though he has a new boyfriend of his own, too. [P6]
♦ He can't afford a plane, but Diddy did get to upgrade to a new Rolls-Royce last week. [P6]
♦ In a new memoir, Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady from The Brady Bunch) says she used to trade sex for coke. [NYDN]

♦ Not only did Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony renew their vows at 3:15 a.m. in Las Vegas on Sunday, they did it in a joint ceremony with Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran and his wife Jessica. [E!, People]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson tell friends they're planning on dressing up as Todd and Sarah Palin for Halloween. [NYDN]
♦ Jay-Z couldn't get any London clubs to pay his $50,000 appearance fee this weekend. [This London Blog via E!]
♦ Is Suri Cruise lonely and sad because has no friends her own age? [P6]

♦ Rachael Ray's reps are denying reports that Ray has throat cancer, although they do admit she's having surgery for a cyst on her vocal cord in December. [People]
♦ It was a busy weekend for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. With hoards of paparazzi in tow, the couple made an appearance at the premiere of Changeling, where Angelina showed off her newest tattoos (the coordinates of the places where each of her kids was born) and told reporters that she and Brad are planning to have even more kids. [NYDN, OK!, previously]
♦ Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky tied the knot on Friday night at Le Cirque with Billy Joel performing in front of guests like Denise Rich, Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, and Donald Trump. [NYP, Us]
♦ A fire at Geraldo Rivera's home on Friday didn't singe his mustache, but it did damage the two 1954 Jaguars in his garage. [P6]

• Barack Obama gave Leonard Nimoy the Vulcan hand sign at a campaign event. In case we needed confirmation of his complete dorkhood. [P6]

♦ Harvey Weinstein may be a million bucks poorer today. Or maybe not! After yesterday's email debacle, Harvey says he'll donate $1 million to the Robin Hood Foundation once he can verify that Scott Rudin's email is "authentic," which means he'll probably conduct an "investigation" into the matter until it blows over. [P6]
♦ Janet Jackson has been released from the hospital. But fiancé Jermaine Dupri doesn't seem too concerned. He hasn't missed any of his scheduled party appearances the past few days. [People, R&M]
♦ Britney Spears' lawyers have been working overtime to quash the sex tape she made with Adnan Ghalib. [The Sun]
♦ Salma Hayek was spotted in Paris with her ex Francois-Henri Pinault, which means it's time to start speculating about whether they're getting back together. [Daily Star]

• People snagged those Clay Aiken baby pictures for $500,000 after newly-frugal OK! dropped out of the bidding. [P6]

♦ Britney Spears' former boyfriend, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib, says he has a sex video featuring him and Britney which he's willing to part with for the right price. And you thought you were done buying sex tapes after the Verne Troyer masterpiece this summer. [NYDN, E!]
♦ Heath Ledger's life insurance company is calling his death "suspicious" and says it won't pay out his $10 mil. policy until it interviews everyone involved, including Mary-Kate Olsen. [NYP]
♦ Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just had twins. But it's Tuesday, which means they're already thinking of adopting another kid. [Daily Mail]
♦ DJ AM and Travis Barker are both out of the hospital. [NYDN, People, P6]
♦ Janet Jackson checked into the hospital in Canada yesterday. [People]

♦ Scarlett Johansson is a married woman: She tied the knot with actor Ryan Reynolds in a small ceremony outside of Vancouver on Saturday. [Us]
♦ Heather Locklear was arrested for driving under the influence of prescription drugs in Montecito, CA, on Saturday. [NYP]
♦ Heath Ledger's daughter Matilda will inherit his entire estate, which is estimated to be worth $20 million. [NYP]

Remember when Janet Jackson ripped her shirt off at the Superbowl and pressed her breasts against every television camera in the stadium and children wept blood for weeks (some died!) and God thunderously shook his head and sent us six more years of war and hurricane floods? It was a national tragedy to be sure, but it also made Janet Jackson sorta (in)famous again! Free, tit-baring publicity cannot be argued with. Now, ever the fame hungry Texan, Jessica Simpson—singer, reality divorcée, failing actress—has found a new nipple slip. The on-air ass slip! Yes indeed, Ms. Simpson was on the Early Morning, America... Today! show singing one of her new, laboriously be-twanged country tunes on an outdoor stage. Twas a windy day that chilly September morn, and a great breeze did sweep up under the young lass's skirt, exposing her bare bottom. Though you could really only see it if you could freeze frame it with your TiVo box or whatever. So thank God Nerve captured the offending screenshot. It begs the question though why Jessica would decide to eschew undergarments when performing live, outdoors, on a windswept day. Perhaps it was on purpose. She has long cultivated a dimbulb persona, so maybe this was all calculated. So first Janet Jackson's accidental titsplosion and now this. What could be next? Spencer Pratt rubs his junk on Larry King's face? Heidi Montag accidentally has sex with Brody Jenner at a live Hills reunion finale? The world waits anxiously.

In a landmark decision for bodice rippers and the networks who love them, a trio of federal judges today threw out the FCC's $550,000 fine against CBS for the Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction" that exposed Janet Jackson's right breast in 2004. The damning decision resulted in a miserable spoof by Justin Timberlake at last night's ESPY Awards and, worse yet for the FCC, essentially wiped out the upgraded decency standards implemented after the broadcast — at least for live shows, which required the judges to buy CBS's defense that the nip slip was an "accident."

• A judge has decided to keep Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook's divorce case open, and Diana Bianchi, the teenager Peter cheated on Christie with, says she's willing to testify if need be. [NYDN]

The nude photo of French first lady Carla Bruni in her supermodel days sold at Christie's yesterday for $91,000, which was a bit better than its estimated price of $4,000. Some connoisseurs said the photo, by a lesser-known artist, wasn't that great, but maybe they missed the naked supermodel in it. Janet Jackson's iconic Rolling Stone cover shot brought only $10,000, but her boobs were covered up in that one, so it's understandable. The nude Gisele Bundchen picture brought $193,000 (estimate: $40,000). But the highest earner of the night was Helmut Newton's "Naked and Dressed" diptych, which sold for $241,000. We bring it to you for free, after the jump—NSFW, in an artsy way.

The newsmaking Christie's auction featuring the nude photo of French first lady Carla Bruni is coming up tomorrow. But she's not the only draw! The extensive photo collection has lots of other iconic pop culture shots, including the original photo of that famous Janet Jackson Rolling Stone cover (pictured). It also includes artistic nudes of stars like Kate Moss, Lauren Hutton, and Naomi Campbell, spanning four decades. You can see the whole collection here [via UD]. After the jump, one sample: a 1999 Irving Penn portrait of supermodel and Tom Brady girlfriend Gisele Bundchen [NSFW], which can be yours for as little as $30,000:

In its new issue with Britney Spears on the cover, the Atlantic featured some oh-so-intellectual analysis of celebrity worship within a profile of the the founders of paparazzi firm X17, which is now online. The magazine also posted a trashier Web-only sidebar, in which the paps riffed on a series of their own photographs. Along the way, they mentioned how actress Nicole Kidman "really does have a unpleasant, grandmother-ish look," how singer Britney Spears "is being pumped full of drugs and that can affect her weight" and how actor Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes are "living inside the Scientology Center." You really have to read it for yourself, but here are some choice bits:

• Marc Jacobs' threesome-friendly boyfriend Jason Preston is chivalrous and brave, if not literally ass-kicking. He saw a guy throw a drink on a girl, in a club, and told the dude to apologize. Unfortunately, the guy then whaled on Preston. Still, Bryanboy will be so totally proud. [P6]

Janet Jackson: famous, but creepy. The sheltered, fame-enslaved singer is starting to act as disconcerting as her sheltered, fame-enslaved brother. She went on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night, bringing a robotic, vacant stare and a heart-shaped hand sign that she flashes to her followers in the crowd like some Skull & Bones ritual, sending them into emotional outbursts for no apparent reason. Bonus educational fact: She calls her fans "Janet fans." So there. Click to watch and wonder what created this woman.

· Much like her brother Michael, we have a hard time really buying the whole girlish falsetto of Janet Jackson's voice. It's as if she's just waiting for a commercial break to unleash that Howard Stern-esque basso profundo of hers. [Ellen]
· Ellen Page pulls out of Sam Raimi's Drag Me to Hell, reportedly because "she didn't like the latest draft of the script." Which strikes us as just the sort of excuse someone who'd bring their lesbian power publicist as their date to the Oscars would give, doesn't it? [bloody-disgusting.com]
· We must hand it to that Tilda Swinton: She's a pistol. She's already converted her Oscar into a hash pipe. So handy! [Popbytes]
· Now you're all Archuleta, Archuleta, Archuleta, as if Sanjaya never even existed. Well what if we sweetened the Malakar by offering you a shot of the Ponyhawked One...shirtless? We thought so. Enjoy. [rickey.org]
· Next time you have company over, serve them a nice glass of wine in a bacon cup! They can even eat it once they're done drinking. [Not Martha via WOW]

· Wendy Molyneux presents her new book Everything Is Wrong with You: The Modern Woman's Guide to Finding Self Confidence Through Self Loathing at Book Soup.
· Janet Jackson slums it at the Virgin Megastore, Mezzanine Owls at the Echo and British Sea Power will be at Spaceland.
· It's Animation Nite at the Echo Park Film Center, eh! Tonight's offering features talents from our brothers and sisters up north in Halifax, Canada.

Paris Hilton just flashed her nipple at a Hollywod club, and it's not because she was supposedly smoking a joint or about to get it on with actor Simon Rex. It's because Paris will not be left out of a celebrity nudity trend. Sex tapes? She is the queen of sex tapes. Vadge flashes? She taught Britney Spears that move. But just last month Britney flashed her boob like she's some kind of Janet Jackson, and Paris WILL NOT BE UPSTAGED. Here's Paris' nipple, and those that bravely paved the way for it (marginally NSFW):