Jeb Bush has suffered at the hands of Donald Trump, who has taken special glee in taunting all of his weaker opponents in the Republican field, but especially so the one-time presumed frontrunner from a previously untouchable political dynasty. Today, Jeb revealed what might be his final attempt at felling the orange beast: perpetuating the conspiracy theory that Trump was planted in the GOP race by the Clinton family.

Most sport coats look alike, so it’s best, especially when you’re often in gigantic rooms filled with men in sport coats, to write your name on the inside with a Sharpie.

In an interview Sunday on CBS’ “Face the Nation,” helpless duckling and presidential candidate John Ellis “JEB!” Bush said that, while the idea of frontrunner Donald Trump recieving the Republican nomination is “kind of scary,” he would support Trump, “because anybody is better than Hillary Clinton.”

Jeb Bush, by some measures, despises conflict. This is, of course, an especially curious personality trait for someone running for a presidential nomination in one of the largest fields ever. Case in point would be Bush getting railroaded multiple times by John Kasich in last night’s debate.

After last nights’s 187th Republican presidential debate, SBNation’s PFT Commenter asked Ben Carson—who thinks abortion should be outlawed even in cases of rape and incest—a very important question. “You are perhaps the most anti-Hitler but also the most anti-abortion candidate,” he said. “Would you be in favor of aborting baby Hitler?”

Jeb Bush’s Super PAC “has purchased more than 8,000 advertising spots targeting Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina,” yet he’s still “in fifth place and in single digits in all three states.” That’s weird.

Today on Jeb Bush’s infinite tour of sadness, we find Jeb! pondering life’s deeper questions, like those asked in desperation by a publication’s social media account: Would Jeb Bush go back in time and kill baby Adolf Hitler? “Hell yeah!”

“I just think there ought to be a no-Twitter rule for candidates after 8 o-clock!” Jeb Bush told DailyMail.com yesterday. “There just should be, like, a rule.”

Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush is taking his message of naked emotional vulnerability directly to the people. As of this week, Bush wants to be America’s email buddy. True to his word, it seems like Jeb will respond to almost anyone.

How is the Jeb Bush comeback going? Well, his new slogan uncomfortably resembles one used by England’s most notorious monster. No one wants to vote for him. He apologized to the French. And today, Jeb just unloaded a lot of dark stuff on some unsuspecting middle schoolers.

To most American voters (especially the younger ones), Jeb Bush’s new slogan will mostly just sound uninspired, and slightly reminiscent of Bob the Builder. But for pretty much anyone even mildly aware of British popular culture, the words “Jeb Can Fix It,” soon to be plastered on every surface his dying campaign can touch, will bring to mind just one thing: Jimmy Savile, one of the most prolific child abusers in the history of entertainment.

When Marco Rubio became Florida’s Speaker of the House in 2005, Governor Jeb Bush welcomed him by bestowing upon him the sword of “Chang,” who Bush described as “a mythical conservative warrior.” It’s odd how mythology develops: Bush was almost certainly, if unwittingly, talking about Chiang Kai-Shek, the Chinese nationalist leader best known for losing a civil war to the Chinese Communist Party and retreating to Taiwan. Chiang was, notably, not democracy’s number-one fan.

If Jeb Bush became a Democrat, I’m not saying he’d win the nomination, let alone the presidency, but he’d have a better shot at either than he currently does in the Republican Party.

Jeb Bush, the Republican presidential candidate also known as Jeb!, has a lot of stuff going on besides his campaign, you know.

Despite the financial support of all of America’s rich people, amiable Republic meerkat Jeb Bush’s presidential campaign is now being run with all the shabby frugality of a thrift store that is slowly going bankrupt.

It’s a bird—it’s a plane—it’s old man Jeb and he’s going off script again.

When even George W. Bush, a man who once used the phrase “internets,” doesn’t like you, you know it’s bad.

You’ll never guess who Donald Trump thinks could have prevented 9/11. Just kidding: It’s Donald Trump.

What do two (ostensibly) serious candidates for President of the United States do when they butt heads on one of the most significant and sobering moments in American history to date? They do the same thing all petulant teens do when they want to cause a scene—they take it to Twitter.