• Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter blasts back at Clinton: "The responses from the former president and his camp are very saddening in their own ways. Characteristic, but nevertheless shocking." [Observer]

• Lindsay Lohan's mom Dina faces "immediate arrest and imprisonment" if she doesn't show up in court this morning on charges she gets drunk in front of her kids, 11 and 14, and the she missed 15 of 29 court-ordered visitations, and showed up to one inebriated. Ex-husband Michael Lohan also threw in to the court filing that Dina is sometimes mean to her puppy — putting it in a kennel instead of letting Michael watch it — because he knows that will piss people off more than the child abuse or whatever. [R&M]

With every passing week, the developing relationship between John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston begins to feel like one of those soap operas we used to watch before vowing never to watch another soap opera again. In the pilot, we viewers were hooked and enticed by Aniston’s fembot nipples and Mayer’s tattooed tricep, the beachside love affair reeling us in just like the first episode of Paradise Island. The sophomore effort’s plot involved the first climactic turn of events: John was “bored”! Jen was “clingy!” In this week’s episode, the relationship has reached that rosy point in which the new-ish couple begins introducing each other to their Friends. Literally. As the Daily Mail reports, Mayer has become part of that fun little sixsome we’ve loved, hated and grown indifferent towards, inducted by Aniston into bosom buddy Courteney Cox’s strict evaluation system. See how John’s infamous O-face fared with Cox after the jump.

• Alec Baldwin lashes out at the family court system in his book, not his ex-wife Kim Basinger. He takes care of her at live party appearances: "My ex-wife reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of high-priced lawyers." [Showbiz Spy]

• Oh, hey, Republican Mayor Michael Bloomberg might stop snapping at people long enough to play a thinly-veiled, self-mocking George W. Bush in a Broadway play. [P6]

• Actress Jessica Alba married Cash Warren, father to the daughter she is set to give birth to this summer. The couple met on the set of Fantastic Four, where he was a director's assistant. [Rush & Molloy]

Tabloid wars! When it comes to covering the stunt relationship between “bored” John Mayer and “clingy” Jennifer Aniston, two New York gossip columns have found themselves at odds over how well-behaved Mayer was over the weekend. The NY Post claims Mayer was dancing on tables at a local bar one night, while the NY Daily News covers his performance at a Foxwoods gig alongside Alicia Keys and Diddy the night afterwards. But one paper paints Mayer as an altar boy turning down “eager hot blonds” for the sake of monogamy, and the other makes Mayer sound like a vulgar womanizer. So which to believe?

• While girlfriend Jennifer Aniston has been acting like a goody two-shoes, John Mayer has been a total party boy, drinking it up all night at a bar in New York. But he's also been totally domestic and whipped in Las Vegas, where the singer dodged groupies right and left to go to bed early. Since Aniston is really into mixed signals, the actress decided Mayer is "the one." None of this is going unimpregnate Angelina Jolie, Jennifer.

At this point in Jessica Simpson’s sad, sad career, it’s become clear that her only chance of making headlines is by sleeping with a new guy, getting dumped by that new guy, or whining over one of the many guys who’ve dumped and/or slept with her. As we learned this week, her most recent conquest — QB Tony Romo, who Jessica called “her future husband” in Glamour’s March issue before admitting that “this article could come out and Tony and I could be broken up” — rid himself of the Game Day Curse just as her ex-fling John Mayer was popping up all over the weeklies swapping spit with Jennifer Aniston and her fembot nips. Naturally, Jessica reacted by drinking herself silly and, we presume, making several late-night calls to her Dadager, Papa Joe, requesting her next romantic PR stunt stat. So the question is: which lucky bachelors will Joe pay off set her up with this time to guarantee continuous coverage of his darling daughter? Our suggestions, after the jump.

Whatever’s going on between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer has thus far had all the standard Summer Fling ingredients: making out in pools, sunset dinners, word that psychopathic ex-girlfriends are drowning in tears and booze, and so on. But last night, the cougar and cad took their lovey dovey tour to New York, doing the double date thing at celebrity haunts and hiding out in cloudy cigar bars, leading onlookers to believe the new Demi and Ashton are having more than just fun in the sun. However, reports that John is “bored” already, combined with Jennifer’s alleged “clingy” and starstruck groupie behavior at one of his gigs have us worried that Aniston will be yet another tear-soaked ex on the crooner’s widdled down bed post...

It's always cute when newbie stars brush off rumors about their love lives by calling them "silly" and saying "we're just good friends!" Fresh faces like Gossip Girl's blonde bombshell Blake Lively have yet to learn that making public denials like these mean only one thing: the rumors are true. Back in January, Lively said just that regarding tabloid stories linking her to on-screen make-out partner Penn Badgley (he's the hot-but-nerdy one, a la Seth Cohen on The OC). And shockingly (!), pictures released today prove not only that Blake and Penn have been fooling around poolside - in an uncanny rendition of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's beachy-keen gallery last week - but that they may actually make it after all.

It took them long enough, but People has finally seized the magical capabilities of the world wide web and uploaded each and every cover in its almost 45-year history online. And while we hand-picked a few of our favorites, from a very Dirk Diggler-looking John Travolta in 1983 to the sad black and white sight of Jennifer Aniston’s misty eyes looking up as Brad Pitt placed the wedding ring on her finger in 2000, we also featured a few after the jump that are slightly more disturbing. "Judge Judy Disrobed," and Brooke Shields doing her whole kiddie porn thing back in the 70s, for example. Plus, a very special throwback to a time when the world wondered whether Britney was looking “too sexy too soon” ... way back in 2000!

Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer the new Demi and Ashton? After seeing these new photos taken in Miami while Jen continues filming Marley & Me, we're noticing several similarities between her new fling with the tattooed O-face master and the queen and prince of age-gap relationship success stories. Like Ashton was, John is a young, charming, bed-hopping bachelor, and just like Demi, Jennifer is an insanely hot divorced actress far more famous than her beau. The icing on the cougar cake? Just like the Moore-Kutchers, it all started with a bikini:

• Jennifer Aniston and boyfriend John Mayer got into a hotel pool in Miami, and there were pictures, and everyone found this very exciting for some reason. The Sun went above and beyond, as usual, with shots of the two parts of the actress' body any experienced reader of the British tabloid would expect it to focus on. (Photo from X17)

• There is no goddamned way animal-hating monster Paris Hilton actually said this to justify her alleged competitive need to conceive: "I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children."

Mixing two high-profile sects like A-list stars and fashionistas will inevitably result in a bit of drama, but at Monday night's Costume Institute Gala, drama took on a whole new meaning. Catfights! Divas! Public Displays Of Aggression! From Christina Ricci's early departure to Peacock King's Jeff Zucker's bitchy avoidance of Darth Weinstein on the red carpet, everyone's claws were out on Monday night. Adding fuel to the fire, one married actress decided to show up to the event sans wedding ring amid rumors of a pending divorce. All the details, including Jennifer Aniston's fling-of-the-week's comments on whether or not the whole mushy affair is for real, after the jump.

Going through a tough breakup is never easy, but the subsequent tendency to canoodle with every available bachelor in town on a weekly basis rarely helps ease the pain. Case in point: Cameron Diaz, who has most recently been spotted "holding hands" with Entourage star and professional party-goer Kevin Connolly. And it seems like only yesterday when Diaz made out with Jason Patric on a beach, and only last week when Diaz was linked to 300 star Gerard Butler. And the list has gone on and on — Criss Angel! Djimon Hounsou! — ever since long-term boyfriend Justin Timberlake headed for curvier pastures last year. We take a closer look at the self-professed "boy-crazy" Cameron's evening with E after the jump.

• Jenna Bush will get married this weekend at a ranch in Texas. Oscar de la Renta supplied the gown the presidential daughter will eventually be puking on. (UPDATE: AP may be wrong on bridesmaid count, see first comment.) [AP]

• Tyra Banks ended the Miley Cyrus controversy, issuing the following fatwa on The View: "She is a 15-year-old, and I just wish everybody would leave her alone!" Follow this edict or Tyra will claw your eyes out, then stab you, then set you on fire, all using only her tightly-controlled stare of rage. [Showbiz Spy]

It's usually fun when rumored flings between two unlikely stars are proven true, unless one of those stars happens to be serial dater Jennifer Aniston. Last week we reluctantly reported on stories linking Aniston to orgasmic crooner John Mayer, and as In Touch tells us today, the pair spent a long weekend together in Miami, where Jen's filming Marley & Me. Just another doozy of an I'll Believe It When I See It tale? Well, believe it, and see it, after the jump.