The very hard partying NYU economics professor Nouriel Roubini painted such a bleak picture of our economy he was dubbed Dr. Doom. Now his outlook has changed so he says he wants a new nickame. We're here to help.

Fame has come for Snooki, and like any unconventional looking woman who's landed in the spotlight, someone feels the need to make over her image into one of bland conformity. This time it's Inside Edition and the results are frightening.

[One of the stars of MTV's 9-part, Michael Apted-directed documentary series "Jersey Shore Up" in New York City yesterday; image via INF]

• There's a good chance you'll be seeing the cast of Jersey Shore in the tents at Fashion Week. (If, that is, you happen to be going to Fashion Week.) MTV's newest crop of reality stars have been asking to tickets to shows, and a few designers have extended invites to "to attend or even model." [P6]
• If you wanted to go to business school but didn't do so well on the GMATs, Diddy is here to help. He says he plans to open a business school in New York City in the near future. [Starpulse, Us]
• Michael Jackson's "personal physician," Dr. Conrad Murray, is expected to surrender to the authorities today in connection with charges he played a role in Jackson's death. He'll likely be charged with involuntary manslaughter, which could land him four years in jail. [TMZ]
• Perpetual brat Kanye West threw a fit while flying back to New York from LA when he was told he and his assistant would have to sit in business class, not first. The temper tantrum paid off, though: The airline found room for him in the front of the plane and the rest of the flight went off without a hitch. [P6]

"Looks like there's a scientific reason why Jersey Shore's tan addicts "The Situation" and Pauly D are constantly on the prowl. Sunbathing boosts the male sex drive. That's according to researchers in Austria, who found that testosterone levels in men rise at the same rate as doses of vitamin D, reports Britain's Daily Telegraph." [NYDN]

• Have Madonna and Jesus Luz gone their separate ways? That's what report today indicates, suggesting it was the couple's "overall lack of mutual interests" that caused the split and it was Luz who called things off. [CST]
• Rip Torn appeared in court yesterday and was formally charged with trespassing, burglary, and possessing a firearm following his arrest over the weekend for breaking into a bank because he thought it was his own house. In all fairness, though, Torn was in rural Connecticut and the "bank" is located in a two-story colonial, so this could have been a mistake that anyone could have made, no? Maybe not. Either way, Torn is now headed to rehab upstate. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Charlize Theron recently split up with her longtime partner, Stuart Townsend, but she may already have a new man in her life: Theron was spotted in LA last week on what appeared to be a date. [P6]
• Haven't the people of Haiti suffered enough? Hot on the heels of John Travolta's trip to the devastated nation to spread Scientology to the masses and now Michael Lohan and Kate Major say they, too, are planning to head to Haiti to "help" quake victims. [Radar]

This looks just like that, not that you can ever get too much news about Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, of course. [TSG, previously]

Meredith Vieira tried her damnedest to understand the Jersey Shore this morning. She can't. The problem is that she tried to in the first place, and about a month behind schedule. When will the olds learn?

Will you be sitting next to Paulie D on the Jitney next summer? This morning Regis and Kelly imagined a world where this could be a perfect reality.

John McEnroe jogging on Central Park West ... Peter Dinklage walking his dog in the West Village ... Madonna arriving at JFK ... Keri Russell carrying son River downtown ... John Lithgow leaving his apartment ... Jessica Szohr on the set of Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Ashlee Simpson arriving at the Ambassador Theater for a performance of Chicago ... and Jersey Shore's J-Woww posing for photos inside GLO nightclub on Long Island.

• The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore officially signed on for season two over the weekend. (Although MTV may now be forced to rename the show, since the cast could be spending next season in the Hamptons.) If you need something to tide you over until the summer, you could always go out and pick up Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's new cologne, which is appropriately named "The Sitch" and smells like a mix of self-tanner, Axe body spray, and some random girl's perfume. [Us, NYP, P6]
• So much for those rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up. At the Director's Guild of America Awards in LA on Saturday night, the couple looked "as happy as can be," Pitt pulled a chair out for his wife (what a gentleman!), and he spent the evening gently caressing her back. [Us, People]
• Did you miss the Grammys last night? Lady Gaga wore a dress that looked like a fifth-grade solar system science project before descending into a fire pit and then playing piano opposite a crystal-encrusted Elton John; Pink did a Cirque de Soleil-esque performance in a nude bodysuit, twirling on a trapeze and singing upside down; Beyonce won a record-breaking six Grammys; Taylor Swift walked away with four, including album of the year; and the crowd was treated to a 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson as well as brief speeches by two of his kids, Prince and Paris. Click through for the list of winners and the fashion highlights/lowlights. [People, NYP, NYDN, MTV, People]

Zachary Quinto, aka Spock, will play George Gershwin in a Steven Spielberg-directed biopic. Sundance ended, Jersey Shore is back for sure, and Indian-themed comedies are hot like a homemade chicken curry. Welcome to the Roundup: Care for a hot toddy?

The theme of this year's Miss America pageant? Cringe-worthy secondhand embarrassment. First, the contestants gave some of the worst introductions ever. EVER. Then, judge Rush Limbaugh was booed. Limbaugh also danced erratically to Lady Gaga's Poker Face. Really. Videos inside.

[J-WOWW Jersey, who married into the kingdom of Hobo Ken, arrives in her ancestral homeland of Long Island; image via INF]

If Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney gets her way, the next season of Jersey Shore could be a lot less colorful. Government-imposed limits on how many minutes someone can spend on a tanning bed? God help us all. [NBC via Stylelist]

• What caused Brittany Murphy's death last month? The toxicology report hasn't come back, but Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, is already pointing a finger at the culprit: He claims Warner Bros. killed her. Yes, the sketchy writer/director/ photographer (who claims he has a PhD and made his fortune as a currency trader and art collector) is putting the blame on the film studio, since it fired her from a job two weeks before her death and it was the stress that ensued that killed her. He's now preparing to sue Warner Bros. But you probably could have guessed that. [Daily Beast, NYP, P6]
• Those reports last weekend about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up never panned out. But it could still happen at any moment, reports Us Weekly. Why? Because Angie feels that Brad isn't "pulling his weight" around the house and she yells at him "when he makes the eggs too runny or burns something." And the "spats have gotten so bad recently" that Pitt now calls "her a bitch behind her back." If you were thinking the recent false alarm might convince the tabloids to focus their elsewhere attention, think again. [Us]
• Michael Douglas' 31-year-old son, Cameron, pleaded guilty yesterday to trafficking meth and cocaine—he was busted at the Gansevoort Hotel last July, as you may recall—and now faces a minimum of 10 years in jail. [NYP, NYDN]

Some sample lyrics:

• Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods may remain married, after all. Tiger supposedly wants to keep the relationship together because he "wants to go back to being a golf star with major endorsements," and is hoping to convince people he's "a good family man." (Good luck with that.) As for Nordegren, she'd like to make the marriage work for the sake of their two kids and is willing to stick with Woods "even if she and Tiger live together as friends instead of lovers." This all sounds incredibly promising, doesn't it? [People, NYDN]
• Exciting news, Jersey Shore fans: MTV and the cast of the hit show are said to be close to ironing out their differences over pay, and the fist-pumping and fake tanning may return to the air as soon as this summer. [Variety]
• In other Shore news, someone is shopping around naked photos of Jenni "J-Woww" Farley despite the fact that there's very little of her body that we haven't already seen. And Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi thinks of herself as "too classy" to be seen in the vicinity of Jerry Springer. [Radar, P6]
• What's going on with Brad and Angelina? According to one report, the couple did meet meet with a lawyer last week, but it was to do a little estate planning and "protect their children and property in case there's a rift in the future," not because they're actually planning to divorce. Then again a source tells E! that Brad Pitt hasn't been showering much recently and smells "like a wandering homeless person," which probably doesn't bode well. [NYDN, People, E!]

Jersey Shore kids scoff at The Hills and Jerry Springer; Brangelina's PR team floats a new break-up excuse; Stephanie Pratt gets bounced; Nancy Grace's suicide-inducement trial will be televised, after all. Wednesday's gossip roundup is full of Schadenfreude.

The stars of Jersey Shore know how to haggle. NBC buys a show from Conan O'Brien. Everyone loves Clint Eastwood, Martha Stewart pulls an Oprah and a pharmaceutical company-backed obesity documentary raises eyebrows. Are you ready for trade roundup time?