The Jersey Shore cast is currently demanding lots of cash to return for season two. However, by playing renegotiation hardball, the guidos and guidettes have given MTV the perfect opportunity to bring back the best and boot the rest.

Jenni Farley of Jersey Shore is a busy, busy girl. In addition to her role as "MTV's newest sensation of reality TV," J-Woww's the founder of a clothing line, graphic design company, and "Long Island's top promotional company," and she recently introduced "an Insane Liquid formula that will gaurantee [sic] weight loss," too. All this has made her a very popular person, as you can probably imagine. But she doesn't want to see any of her devoted fans getting injured when they show up to her "homecoming celebration" later this week, a point she'll undoubtedly be stressing when she addresses her "security issues" at a press conference tomorrow:

• Is it possible that Natalie Portman isn't as sweet as she looks? She reportedly started seeing her new boyfriend, New York City Ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied, while he was still dating—and living with—his girlfriend of three years. Portman and Millepied began dating in the fall, but the girlfriend reportedly only got the shaft just after New Year's, poor thing. [P6]
• So are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up or not? One possible sign they are not separating: Pitt was seen returning to the LA home he shares with Jolie yesterday. One sign they are: A British tabloid reports Pitt "secretly" (or not-so-secretly) purchased "a bachelor pad to help him sort out his split from Angelina Jolie," and it's equipped with underground cave "where he can be alone and think about what he does next." Take your pick. [TMZ, DM]
• There's a new party boy in town at Sundance, and his name is Bill Gates. The 54-year-old nerd/philanthropist was spotted dancing on a banquette until 2am and confessed he was on the prowl for "that chick from Twilight" (Kristen Stewart), because he wanted to "see her movie." Or something. [P6]

• NYC Winter Restaurant Week begins today, in case you weren't aware. [SE]
• A roundup of restaurants opening over the next week. [NYM, Eater, TONY]
• A few theories on the recent shakeup at the Four Seasons and the ouster of acclaimed chef Fabio Trabocchi just three months into his tenure. [NYP]
• Did your waiter use your Amex to go on a shopping spree? Maybe! [Eater]
• Burger King may soon start serving beer along with lousy burgers. [NYDN]
• Model/ex-City cast member Adam Senn has a new restaurant. [GS]
• In other reality TV news, here's what you missed if you didn't make it to the Midtown bar where Pauly D of Jersey Shore DJed on Saturday night. [TONY]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up? That's what Britain's News of the World reported over the weekend, suggesting the (unmarried) couple has been meeting with their lawyers in LA to divide up their assets. Whether any of this is true or it's just another rumor is unclear. According to a source that spoke with People, "everything is fine" between Jolie and Pitt, and the story of them splitting is "totally false." [NYDN, NYP, TMZ, People]
• The cast of MTV's most popular new show may not be back for another season. The kids from Jersey Shore reportedly turned down an offer which would have paid them each $5,000 per episode. MTV has since doubled its offer and informed them they'll replace the cast if they don't accept. In related news, the cast sparked a "near-riot" on Friday night when fans descended on a club in Montclair, New Jersey, to catch them in person. [TMZ, Us, NYDN]
• Diddy held a 1,000-person birthday party for his son, Justin, on Saturday night. The highlight of the evening—which was taped for an episode of MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen—was when Diddy gave his son what every 16-year-old needs: a $360,000 silver Maybach and a driver to go with it. [P6, NYDN]

Brad's brother thinks something's rotten in the state of Brangelina, but other rumors conflict. Jersey Shore drives a hard bargain and risks getting shut out. Gary Coleman gets arrested. ScarJo on stage gets a rave review. Monday gossip starts now.

The variables in The Most Important Sociological Experiment of Our Time—the castmembers of MTV's Jersey Shore—want cash: according to an item in this morning's Page Six, the Orange Creature Cadre are trying to get seriously paid.

Andy Dick: Something about his penis getting in trouble. Rihanna's about to break her man's umbrella off. Helen Mirren has a lesson for your children about getting drunk and stupid. Megan Fox's freaky thumbs! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

The cast of Jersey Shore came back for some real-talk after last night's finale. It's nice to see their metamorphosis from the larval stage of guido to the pupa stage of mildly famous guido.

If this season of Jersey Shore proved nothing else, it's that the native "guidos and guidettes" enjoy their violence: brawls, fights, and epic punches to the face. Here, you can enjoy every single fight in rapid succession.

It is with a heavy heart that we must end the most important sociological experiment of our time. For all that we have learned we are, there is still so much left unanswered about these mystical creatures.

• Conan O'Brien's final Tonight Show airs tonight. Then he'll head off to count the enormous pile of cash that NBC just gave him while he waits until September 1, which is when he'll first be permitted to host another talk show as part of the deal he signed with the network. As for NBC, it will air reruns of The Tonight Show until the Olympics start, with Jay Leno officially returning to his (very tarnished) throne on March 1. [TMZ, THR, WSJ]
• It looks like things are going from bad to worse for Mischa Barton. Her landlord has filed a lawsuit against her for failing to pay three months of rent on her $7,000-a-month Tribeca apartment before moving out of the place late last year. [NYDN, P6]
• Lady Gaga looked pretty banged up when she appeared outside her "Monster Ball" show last night to sign autographs. She she had bizarre cuts and bruises all over her arms and legs. And those mustard-colored extensions she's been wearing as of late aren't helping matters. [The Sun, 3am]

And so the most important sociological experiment of our time ends not with a whimper, but a bang. Yup, Snooki and The Situation banging in the Jacuzzi. You know it's going to happen. Come, let us discuss.

Tonight's finale of Jersey Shore will leave a gaping hole in our cultural quilt, one that can only be filled with endless parodies and reimaginings of those bronzed demigods and their summer of wonder. Here, Mario's gang pays homage.

• As if this hasn't already been a crappy week for liberals thanks to the election results in Massachusetts, Air America announced today that it's shutting down effective immediately and filing for bankruptcy protection. [AP, WP]
• More on the conclusion of l'affaire Coco, what's in store for O'Brien (unclear), and what NBC can look forward to in the months ahead (lackluster ratings for Leno, mammoth losses, continued shame, etc). [NYT, TW, WSJ, NYT]
• CNN has been pulling out all the stops to cover the crisis in Haiti (not to mention invested in hundreds of tight t-shirts for Andy Cooper). And yet Fox News, which has sorta ignored the earthquake (and typically avoids covering stories involving poor black people) is still out in front in the ratings. [LAT]
• Kitty Kelley's tell-all about Oprah hits bookstores on Apr. 13. [AP]
• A Pulitzer for the National Enquirer? Stranger things have happened. [WP]
• HGTV and Food Network have returned to Cablevision customers. [NYT]
• Thanks to Lionel Richie and Quincy Jones, you'll be hearing "We Are the World" (Haiti 2010 edition) again in the near future. [Showbiz411]
• Madonna and Beyoncé have joined Team Clooney, FYI. [Reuters]
• So much for free content: Hulu may start charging its users to watch popular TV shows in the future; and YouTube is introducing pay-per-view videos.
• Is the Wall Street Journal really launching a travel agency? Yes. [E&P]
• Say goodbye (arrivederci?) to MTV's Jersey Shore. [NYM, Gawker, MTV]

Jersey Shore, the (overly) buzzed-about documentary series created by the vengeful ghost of Margaret Mead, is coming to an end tonight. (Well, a season end, at least.) So what do we do now? Explore other terrible youth cultures, of course!

We have hung on every ridiculous word uttered by the guidos of the Jersey Shore. Tonight is their final episode (for now) and in celebration we have a collection of their best sayings.

Today, Rachel Ray got the scoop on how Snooki's nickname came to be. She was hesitant to reveal her secret at first but after encouragement from her castmates, ended up sharing her tale of underage promiscuity to the world.

[That guy from that completely credible documentary about the Jersey Shore is snapped by paps after taping The Rachael Ray Show. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

First we heard Hustler is making an Avatar porn. Ew. Then we get a release (ha!) saying the people who are making Jersey Whores are also making Not The Hangover. Is nothing sacred anymore? We've got to draw the line!