So, where do you vacation when you're a multibillionaire? Try crashing at your billionaire friend's place. According to a source close to Lucy Southworth, Google cofounder Larry Page's fiancée has reserved Necker Island, the Caribbean hideaway of Virgin megamogul Richard Branson, for Larry and Lucy's upcoming nuptials. The location is consistent with the visa requirements mentioned in a blog post briefly published on Fortune's website, then erased. The private resort should offer plenty of privacy and security for the camera-shy couple. Past guests include Princess Diana, whose presence there required a 150-meter security perimeter around the entire island.

In the unlikely event that it's slipped your mind, today marks the official release of the most anticipated comeback in the history of music, Britney Spears' Blackout, a record that the erstwhile pop-star, her label, and the intermittently estranged children who want their momma to start earning a living again desperately need to make the public forget about the vagina-flashing, VMA-trainwrecking desperation of her post-In The Zone life.

Author and blogger Tionna Tee Smalls is an expert on matters of the heart, not to mention matters of various other body parts. Got a question? Ask Tionna! This photo was taken at Tionna's recent comedy show. Guess what those people are dressed as? (Hint: starts with "cat" and ends with "bags".)

Appearing on Late Show last night to promote a small, low-profile animated movie soon to make its way into select art houses across the country, Hubbardian dabbler Jerry Seinfeld used the opportunity to try out a tight, three-minute set of new material based entirely around the everyman premise, "So a billionaire comedian's wife writes an Oprah-approved cookbook about hiding brussel sprouts in your kids' mac and cheese, and some celebrity-stalking lunatic accuses her of plagiarism, just because the book she already wrote on that topic contains 15 identical recipes!"

Could it be true that advertising is nothing more than a big pack of lies, designed to get you to purchase things that often you don't need and perhaps believe things you shouldn't? Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

First, Billy Joel's wife Katie Lee Joel failed at hosting Top Chef. Then, she failed at attending P. "Sean" Diddy Combs' annual "White Party" by showing up wearing cream. And now, in a post that teases her forthcoming cookbook Katie's Comfort Table, she has failed at writing for the Huffington Post. Which, you wouldn't even think could be possible!

• Halle Berry discusses Calif. fires, pregnancy [LiveVideo]

From the mailbag: "I overheard someone blabbing that [former Jane and Sassy editor] Jane Pratt is planning a pow-wow with her old staff this week. Only the ones who worked for her (not Brandon Holley) are invited (Debbie, Josh, Jeff, Jauretsi, Lori, Bill, Eric, Erin, Kenya, Annemarie, Johan, Stephanie, Gigi). I'm dying to know if this is just a friendly gathering or is Jane plotting something? An old Sassy reader can only hope." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes! Which makes Jane's last editor Brandon Holley, who we've also heard might be rallying the old troops towards some end or other, Madelyne Pryor?

I-banker blogger Mijka Samora has done the math, and realized that hiring an illegal immigrant nanny, paying her lower wages, and paying her off the books "puts a cool $16,000 in after-tax dollars in your pocket every year." This "nanny arbitrage" is epidemic because, Mijka says, of "the widespread, if misguided, notion that 'everyone else does it', and in the conflicted satisfaction of helping an illegal make a living." But even though Mijka is obviously correct that monies saved by using cheap illegal labor are funneled back into the economy, his other arguments for why the city's fiscal infrastructure might come crumbling down if labor laws were actually enforced are less buyable.

Got ish? Our advice columnist, the noted blogger and author Tionna Tee Smalls, is here to help you confront it all head-on. In this edition, Tionna takes on an unpleasant odor. Those who are for whatever reason phobic about frank discussions regarding women's health should consider themselves warned.

When a CNN Headline News-Travel and Leisure poll revealed that our own "sixth borough," Philadelphia, was home to the least attractive people in the United States, a guy we know who used to live there sent an email to his fellow Philly expats living in NYC. It read, "You know how I always say in Philadelphia, the two-eyed man is king?" But some people would beg to differ.

Mere minutes ago, millions of east-coasted Dancing with the Stars fans watched as Marie Osmond fainted during judge Len Goodman's appraisal of her samba, a dance apparently so physically draining that it was impossible for Osmond to stay conscious long enough to signal the show's producers to cut away from a coming swoon in time to avoid unnecessarily upsetting America. But don't worry: we're told the Dancing crew returned after the impromptu break to let everyone know she's fine.

Hollywood fleshpeddler Heidi Fleiss's long-gestating Stud Farm project—a gender-reversed counterpart to Nevada's Chicken and Bunny Ranches that will offer a wide menu of U.S. Grade-A certified he-steak to a man-famished female clientele—is currently fielding applications from sexually potent candidates eager to be included among its stud stable. From heidistudfarm.com:

If you're not feeling the 2007-era Michael Jackson/Teri Hatcher vibe, may we guide you to American Apparel's A Hollywood Halloween, featuring costume ideas like Flashdance's iconic stripper/welder and the Scooby Doo crew, achievable using nothing more than the ubiquitous boutiques' multicolored basics.

Bill Cosby's new book, "Come On, People: On the Path from Victims to Victors," (written with Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint, 243 pages) is a big ball of crazy, kind of like the yearly harangue you get from your grandfather: "Why don't you have a real job yet? Why can't you hang on to a significant other?" Except it's completely directed at black folks! Like W.E.B. Du Bois and Booker T. Washington before him, Cosby gamely suggests that black people pull themselves up by the bootstraps. From chapters ranging from "What's Going On With Black Men?" to "We All Start Out As Children," Cosby overshares his kooky ideas about the world, pissing and moaning that black Americans need to "tone down the culture" and "get smart about sex." Of course "When we were kids" is used more than once, and, did you know? In those days, kids knew their place (and knew how to act!) To underscore this point, he helpfully puts in quotations any word that seems "hip," "cool," or "new." Let's start with chapter 1, in which Bill Cosby casually enforces racial stereotypes.

Joely Richardson appeared at a benefit in London yesterday showing "signs of strain," as the Daily Mail puts it, though being careful to never use the dreaded A-word that cost the publication $6000 in a damages to Keira Knightley.

After your negotiations and your cab ride to the corner of 63rd and 2nd, you'll notice that the apartment building in which you'll apparently be having sex with a prostitute is also the home to a noted modern dance center. Perhaps you'll wonder if indeed the lady in question could be a part-time student at the school! That will turn out not to be the case. Through the window, the doorman might peer at you queerly. He's totally is in on what is going on. You'll call the number you were given and you will be told an apartment number. When you pass by, the doorman will be listening to death metal on an iPod mini.

The occasional Barbara Walters anecdote about her bathroom stall misadventures notwithstanding, we've always felt that the ladies of The View spend far too little time chatting about potty-related matters.

"That's how she rolls. Just when you least expect it, Mariska throws you a curve. Over the years, I've come to expect nothing less from the hardest working—and needless to say, hottest—perp-buster on TV." That's from the "blog" of T.V. star Mariska Hargitay, which is written solely by people who are not Mariska Hargitay (but who may know her!). "Preorder your 'XO, M' t-shirts!" reads another "blog" post. It turns out that a lot of celebrity blogs aren't blogs at all, but just a collection of markedly amateurish press releases. But! At the other end of the spectrum, some celebrity blogs are deeply personal, like Al Roker's. He recently wrote a moving eulogy of his mom there! Its gravity is only slightly undermined by the cartoon of Al in a prop plane buzzing around the screen. So what else do famous people do with their personal webjournals? Our Intern Mary applied her analytical tools to the most recent posts on 48 of these sites and came up with some findings.

Whenever two adults in New York exchange sex for money, each commits a Class B misdemeanor. So one might think it would be difficult to procure a sex worker. It takes about three minutes. The website of one local spot is your basic HTML slapdash job. It says that "they" would like to be with you very much and uses lots of exclamation points. There's a gallery of women, young and mostly blond and carelessly dressed. Most of the women look like they could be in The Bangles, a bit more on the side of Debbi Peterson than Susanna Hoffs.