Admit it: You're dying to see "Gossip Girl" (premiering September 19th at 9 p.m.!), the new CW show that pulls back the curtain on the lives of spoiled rich kids on the Upper East Side. It's not just aimed at the youngsters. It's also brilliantly engineered, we think, to be enjoyed by those over 16 as a guilty pleasure—though we know there's no such thing. Now we've obtained this one minute clip, which demonstrates exactly why "Gossip Girl" is the show that will define a generation of New Yorkers. Culturally, this just might be bigger than... gosh, we'd say 9/11, but Chris Crocker already used that one about Britney today.

A lil' birdie spotted the balding Aussie actor Heath Ledger and the delightfully thick then skeletal then halfway normal again starlet Kate Bosworth boarding the same elevator after a Fashion Week event. So circumstantial! But: the lady hasn't been photographed with that male model she was dating—you know, the one who healed her Orlando Bloom broken heart—since early May, though Rush and Molloy did spot them "out and about" two weeks ago. Hmm! How will Heath affect her weight?

Are there serious ish plaguing you or a loved one? Blogger, author, and all-around hood psychologist (LMAO!) Tionna Smalls is here to help. Drop her a line at asktionna@gawker.com.

With Yom Kippur around the corner, it's that time of year where we admit sins, beg forgiveness and stand by mailboxes waiting in vain for apology letters that don't arrive from high school classmates who cruelly mocked certain other high school classmates who at the time had clear braces, a nose, a face oil problem and only five shirts but who now have a nose job, are exceedingly wealthy and have the oil problem under control through the use of astringent. So in the spirit of candor, I admit that when we received a Gawker Stalker email (I'm one of the hardworking behind-the-scenes Stalkettes who handles such things) revealing that Mystery from The Pickup Artist was filming at Prohibition on fun on the Upper West Side, my instinct was to race uptown and shamelessly throw myself at him. Because I AM IN LOVE WITH MYSTERY and I don't care who knows it.

Everyone knows that Marc Jacobs is the only show of fashion week that really matters. But why does it matter, and was it good—and what were those gardening gloves about? To find out, we woke up fashion expert Alice Wetterlund, a part-time model and goddess of working in retail.

Socialgay Kristian Laliberte, who does the PR for fledgling label Unruly Heir, had promised us "more of a presentation than a show, with models walking down the runway to inhabit tableaus vivant, or living painting." What this meant: models, dressed in preppie clothes but carrying props such as a croquet mallet, or a ghetto blaster boombox, or a hobo's hankie-on-stick thing, walked down the runway, posed at the end of it it, and then walked over to the side and pretended to "tag" a painting that was pretending to be a fancy painting by spritzing it lightly with pastel spraypaint. One of them threw a tennis ball into the audience! Another walked with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. It was all very badass, very Port Authority meets Palm Beach. Or: very Dalton meets Once I Saw 'Paris Is Burning.' The inimitable Laurel Ptak documented it for posterity.

Back in March, we'd heard that Social Life magazine editor in chief and Columbia M.F.A. student Devorah Rose was once a Champagne Room massage girl at Scores West. Last night, she set the record straight. "It's not true!" Then she paused. "Wait, don't write that I said it wasn't true! I think it's funny that people think that I was a stripper. Because anyone who knows me, well, they know how anal I am."

On Monday, Us Weekly will throw their own damn fashion week party, and honor their 25 most fashionable New Yorkers. Who are they? We just got our hands on the until-now top-secret list—and actually, it's innaresting! (Not a tabloid girl in sight, for one thing.) Sam Champion! Padma Lakshmi! Stephen Colbert! Tim Gunn! And... the MisShapes! But we won't hold that against them, because they've also got Marcus Samuelsson, the hot Ethiopian-Swede chef of Aquavit, on the list.

Just in time for fashion week, ads for A/X underwear, featuring an insanely built dude and his giant schlong, are plastered tastefully all over our city. Is he for real? Is... it for real? Are we all being sexually harassed? Emily and Richard Blakeley went to find out.

Last night at MoMA, Tommy Hilfiger celebrated the publication of, somehow, his fifth book, co-written with legitimate design icon George Lois. It's a visual survey of pop culture and called Iconic America: A Roller-Coaster Ride through the Eye-Popping Panorama of American Pop Culture. Fittingly the massive MoMA lobby was filled with rounded Eero Aarnio chairs, a couple of Marcel Breuer's iconic Model B3 chairs and even a Lips Sofa. White shag carpeting took the place of the more traditional red carpet. Then appeared Arden Wohl.

Round midnight at 21st and 10th, the Conde Nast Rock and Republic pre-party was ending. Great hives of inebriated party-people heaved out, wobbly on margaritas and spike heels, into the waiting Conde Nast town cars. Then we saw Nicole Brydson, the Observer's gal on the fashion streets. She and her Nat Sherman cigarettes were with Observer media reporter Michael Calderone and Brooklyn Paper's Adam Rathe. Page Six's Corynne Steindler was talking urgently into her phone. They were going to Pete Wentz's party at Tenjune.

So today, nearly all of the celeb mags are breathlessly reporting the nastiest coupling we've come across: Anna Nicole Smith's baby-daddy Larry Birkhead and her attorney and semi-husband Howard K. Stern were, according to that strumpet Rita Cosby's new book, totally doing it! And struck a backroom deal, and there's a sex tape, and oh my God, gross.

Tremble, bloglings! Ubersocialite Tinz Mort'mer is blogging! In her first entry over at Glamour, Tinsley semi-non-apologizes for wearing the same dress twice and declares an entire season to be "over." It's like My Little Pony learned how to type! And yet, the "work product" is more literate than that of any other blogger Glamour has yet employed....

"Is Halle Berry pregnant?" has basically been a recurring article in celeb weeklies since their covers featured Ava Gardner and Frank Sinatra, so it took a while for us to wrap our minds around the idea that this time, Halle Berry is really actually, truly, up the stick. "Yes, I am three months pregnant! Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I've waited a long time for this moment in life. Now the next seven months will be the longest of my life!" she told Access Hollywood last night. God, of all of our lives. (Plus, uh, ten months of gestation certainly sounds like too much to us!) So what will Halle call the long-awaited bundle? We're liking "Ivy F." (Or maybe Holly?) Thoughts? [Image via Splash News]

Do you have some ish to deal with? Are mens not on your level? Tionna Tee Smalls, famous blogger and author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right, is here to help. Email her at asktionna@gawker.com.

You read Us Weekly for the articles. You can't help but be interested in what Lindsay Lohan snorted, ran her car into or slept with this week. But, you went to college, you read the new Chabons and Lethems as soon as they come out! You're not a vapid person! Good news: Celebrity is not only a major driver of the economy, it's a subject worthy of academic scrutiny. University of Southern California professor Elizabeth Currid, PhD., explains the sociology of fame and pop culture.

World famous fellator Chloe Sevigny is debuting her fashion line on September 10th at Opening Ceremony, the ur-downtown boutique. Though no garments have been revealed yet, her logo has. Check out the umlaut! Judging from the analogue angularity of it all, we're looking forward to her early Gameboy fall collection. Who can say no to a Tetris camisole and a deconstructed minimalist Donkey Kong shrug?

Nina Garcia, Project Runway judge and alleged 'Elle' editor, has a new book coming out after Labor Day called The Little Black Book of Style. In it, she imparts her wisdom about the world of fashion unto others for the low, low price of $17.95, or just $3.95 more than a year's subscription to 'Elle.' In our final excerpt, from chapter four—"What to Wear When..."—Nina offers insights into what to wear on various occasions. Also, what not to wear. Hint: granny underwear.

The list-compiling obsessives over at Forbes magazine have released their latest masterwork: "The World's 100 Most Powerful Penisless People," they call it. Sprinkled among the many businesswomen and politicians are a few familiar names from the showbiz realm, including DreamWorks's Stacey Snider (#87) and Disney's Anne Sweeney (#77), CBS's Nancy Tellem (#49), and Amy Pascal, coming in at an impressive #35, despite Forbes's editors obviously not being aware that she'd been graduated to full-fledged, junk-swinging man by Variety's Showmen of the Year nominating committee. The highest ranking entertainment figure was Earthly deity Oprah Winfrey at #21, but the biggest surprise on the chart came in at #24, as Big Brother's Jew-leery candidate Amber was deemed an even greater feminine force to be reckoned with than Hillary Clinton. Amber 2012!

Each season on Project Runway, "Fashion Director for Elle Magazine" Nina Garcia gets bitcher and bitchier as she gets more famous. She's enough to remind us why we never worked for a fashion magazine. That, and we're not a size 2. Nina has a new book coming out after Labor Day called The Little Black Book of Style, where she imparts her wisdom about the world of fashion unto others for the low, low price of $17.95, or just $3.95 more than a year's subscription to Elle. Money well spent, undoubtedly. In Chapter Three—"Inspirations"—Nina teaches us about international fashion. Because she never met a stereotype she didn't like. Also, women everywhere are rich! The highlights follow.