Ah, the onslaught of emails from dudes forwarding the Em&Lo article to their girlfriends with the subject line "See, honey?" has finally ceased. Thanks, Judy! Also, we like this headline even a little bit better than "Even Bitches Have Feelings."
Some publications have stringent, tightly policed guidelines about not assigning reporters to cover stories that they have a personal connection to. Other publications have, uh, the opposite policy. Seriously, do you remember the last time you read a New York mag feature whose author didn't at some point step forward and announce, "Disclosure: I once shared a yoga mat with Madonna in 1995" or some such nonsense? We certaintly don't. But the disclosure moment in Vanessa Grigoriadis's long Sympathy for Judith Regan profile today has to be our all-time favorite:
Even though Newsweek already excerpted the only chapter that anyone remotely cares about, James Wolcott breathlessly trumpets Vanity Fair's acquisition of "the whole enchilada" — a shiny new hardcover edition of If He Did It — today on VF.com. (Now we know who was bidding on Ebay!) So what's the book (well, the part we haven't all already read) like? Well, Wolcott calls it "a shameless yet ingeniously opaque cockteaser," and, surprise surprise, so is his 'review.' We learn that O.J. and Nicole Brown had a tumultuous marriage, and that Nicole frequently enraged her husband by wearing whorey outfits. Yawn yawn. Ultimately, the only sort of new information here seems to be that James Wolcott is a weirdo who makes up his own nonsensical slang. Simpson's B-list milieu is given to "normo" leisure activities, while Nicole is "for cert" nothing like Gloria Swanson, though the book is (somehow ) like Sunset Boulevard. But our favorite moment of Wolcottian semicoherence comes later, when he's describing the chapter entitled "The Two Nicoles":
From Judith Regan's November 17th cri de coeur:
We love Page Six's patented Random Reacharounds: those inexplicably crowing, glowing items that detail the achievements of someone readers have never heard of, typically introducing zero new information and blowing several lackluster achievements out of proportion. Today's item about Rodale's Leigh Haber is a classic example:
As 2006 huffs toward its inexorable end, we decided to take a moment to recognize those personalities that made our job that much more tolerable this year. These are the people who gave us endless fodder for our douchebag mill, who were attracted to the spotlight like moths to a flame, whose stated disdain for our coverage of them was contradicted by their almost pathetic attempts to court it. The adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity has never felt more apt.
No one but the Devil knows every name on Rupert Murdoch's enemies list, and that's only because Satan takes dictation from Murdoch. Still, the News Corp. chairman has an impressive history of racking up nemeses on several continents. So far, he's either wrestled them to the carpet or held them at bay in one form or another. But even with regular infusions of industrial-strength nookie from a wife half his age, the man still has to watch the ramparts for skulking invaders. To that end, consider a short and by no means comprehensive list of Murdoch's opponents — past, present, future, or some combination thereof.
As we mentioned yesterday, this edition of our bookish little coffeeklatsch revolves around a work of literature whose villainess reminds us a bit of one of our favorite Gawker whipping gals: freshly canned publisher Judith Regan. That might be because author Bridie Clark used to work for her, but then again, it might not. Who's to say? (Well, besides lawyers). Anyway, in today's excerpt, we learn how "Vivian Grant's" employees go about guarding their lives and sanity. Our favorite part? "I'm not saying our phones are tapped. I'm just saying that it's not a bad precaution to leave the building when making a private call."
Some people like to say that living well is the best revenge. Well, living well is pretty good revenge, but the best? We think that'd have to be something along the lines of: writing a roman a clef about your evil ex-boss that's being published at around the same time that said ex-boss is getting fired and dragged through the mud in the media. Congratulations, Bridie Clark! You're one lucky bitch, and your book, Because She Can, is the next subject of our occasional Book Club. If you've sat around the coffee table with us for previous installments of the Club, you recall that the way this works is that we flip to a random page and give you a little dose. But this time, we're going to focus on the bits of the book that squeaked most narrowly through what must've been the most scrupulous legal read EVER. After the jump, our heroine's job interview with Rudith Jegan. Okay, okay, "Vivian Grant."
In times like these, we're really grateful that being a lawyer is so sucky. Why? Because it means that the lawyers who've defected to the blahhgosphere can give us plenty of expert legal analysis. Over at the HuffyPo, ex-lawyer Rachel Sklar and co. provide some much-needed insight into whether or not Judy will triumph in her wrongful termination suit against HarperCollins. Their conclusion? Basically, yeah. Their contention is that HarperCollins couldn't use the OJ book as a reason to fire Regan because it was greenlit by her higher-ups, so they pulled her "anti-Semitism" out of a hat. But her previous slap on the wrist for the mezuzah thing might ruin their case:
Remember when we mentioned the rumor that scandalous fired publisher Judith Regan had once traipsed through the halls of her old UWS apartment building, replacing the scrolls inside her neighbors' mezuzot with torn-up dollar bills? Today, the Times reiterates the story, adding the salient detail that she was investigated and reprimanded by HarperCollins three years ago for bragging about it to her staff. Uh, so much for the Forward's whole "the one allegation that had never appeared on her rap sheet" thing. The Times caps the story by reminding us that Judith maybe kind of has had an eensy problem with ethnic slurs for years and years:
Publishing hottie Hogan was interviewed on the episode of Judy R's Sirius radio show that's being broadcast today; unfortunately, he's been cut from the program. During her conversation with Hogan, she went into what Radar calls (and Hogan denies) was a "rant" about "how the 'backstabbers at HarperCollins' had made her the scapegoat for the outcry over the O.J. Simpson book, If I Did It," which supposedly contributed to her firing. Alas, we'll never get to hear the rest, but you can still tune into Sirius Channel 102 and hear Judy interviewing another guest, psychiatrist Mitch Golant, with whom she shares her womanly wisdom:
At least, that's what lawyer Bert Fields said when he announced yesterday afternoon that our favorite golden-gina'd battleaxe is going to sue the Jew cabal at HarperCollins for wrongful termination. He also contradicts HarperCollins lawyer Mark Jackson's assertions about the content of the phone conversation that prompted Regan's firing, and implied that he may have a tape of the conversation. "They should worry about that," Variety quotes him as saying.
Today, the Smoking Gun brings us the news that it's not just raining Jew-problems, it's pouring Jew-problems for Judith Regan. Ron Goldman's father is suing OJ for fraudulently profiting from the aborted tell-all that Regan was to publish; his lawyers anticipate adding Regan, HarperCollins, and NewsCorp to the suit.
Yesterday we learned that, contrary to all of our assumptions, Judith Regan's offensive comments during her last-straw phone call with HarperCollins lawyer Mark Jackson were anti-Semitic, not cock-size related. Today in the Times, Jackson accuses Regan of saying, "Of all people, the Jews should know about ganging up, finding common enemies and telling the big lie," and of saying that Jackson, ICM lit agent Esther Newberg, HarperCollins' executive editor (and Deadspin soccer columnist!) David Hirshey and HarperCollins' president Jane Friedman "constitute a Jewish cabal against her."
· Scary Hollywood Lawyer Bert Fields says that just-shitcanned HarperCollins editor Judith Regan doesn't "have an anti-Semitic bone in her body"—you know, except for the bones that allegedly think a "Jewish cabal" in the book publishing world is out to get her.
Pauly Shore has poor table manners.
Comedy Feature Writing 101: "Think Ben Stiller."
David Mamet explains how Hollywood is like cocaine ("You cannot understand its attraction until you are doing it. And when you are doing it, you are insane"; also, it turns you into a motormouth with the shits), and then reveals the hidden connection between Asperger's Syndrome and moviemaking.
Matt Damon: Angelina Jolie is way too good a piece of ass to be married to the inattentive CIA schlub he plays in The Good Shepherd.
Who would have thought that so many ex-Regan employees (who really do have their own support group, a tipster tells us) would be getting in touch about their deposed bosslady's rants and antics? Well, everyone, of course. After the jump, some of the most fun/sickmaking shit in our inbox, with extra Jane Friedman goss sprinkled on top for good measure.
Since it's been at least forty minutes since we mentioned Judith Regan, we thought we'd take this time to advance a little irresponsible speculation concerning the reason for her departure. In a January 2005 profile of Regan from Vanity Fair (which is chock full of delicious quotey goodness), we noted the following:
By now you've probably read enough about the Judith Regan firing to make you wish that O.J. were actually innocent. But there's been one important issue we've yet to see addressed: How did the blogs cover the coverage of the firing? Let's take a quick look back to this morning:
