Time Out New York dating columnist Julia Allison tackles the age-old dilemma faced by men around the world: How do you trick a chick into bed? Jules' advice: Be cheesy, surround yourself with hot ass, and buy her greasy food. (Not recommended: Yelling, "Now suck my cock.") It's interesting advice that contravenes the conventional wisdom: We had no idea that "You want fries with that?" was a solid pickup line. This whole time we've been working that whole "pay attention to what she says, treat her like an equal, let her know you find her attractive" angle. Clearly we've been going about things all wrong. Anyone up for wings?

Chest-hair barer and small-dog-loving Radar editor Chris Tennant's new book is available for pre-order on Amazon! Whee! It's called The Official Filthy Rich Handbook, and it's a rather blatant ripoff of The Official Preppy Handbook. Except this one, we hear, features Julia Allison.

The Julia Allison drinking game is here at last. Because drinking and reading blogs go hand in hand! [Datehole]

Star magazine editor-at-large Julia Allison filled a seat on "Red Eye" last night, bringing her geopolitical expertise to bear on the subject of the recent attempted attacks in Britain. Maybe we should get Jules on the N.S.C.; she couldn't be any worse.

Over at Eat the Press, Rachel Sklar defends Julia Allison from the barbs of those who are astounded or depressed by her new $100K+ a year job as a Star talking head. Julia "knows how to bring it for the camera," says Sklar, and that's what really matters. Ah, feminism!

We hear that Julia Allison's new gig as Star talking head is netting her over $100K. That "sniiiick sniiiick" noise you just heard was us slitting our wrists.

"Oh yeah, baby, it's all downhill from here. ;) i do hope i can stick with tv. writing is far too much effort ;)" asserted Julia Allison back in March, when she was fired amicably separated from her job as AM New York's online dating advice columnist. Maybe she's been reading The Secret, because it seems like Julia just got her wish! She'll be Star's new Editor at Large, a position that really plays to her "strengths:" "She won't be editing or writing, but she will be appearing as a talking expert whenever TV comes calling for someone to go on air to comment on the latest celebrity gossip or scandal." Congratulations, Julia! We knew you when, and for some reason we still know you now. As for those "wondering why Star actually needs a permanent full-time TV person, since Editorial Director Bonnie Fuller relinquished day-to-day control at Star to Candace Trunzo and seems to have more time on her hands these days," we'd meekly posit that maybe it's because Bonnie Fuller doesn't have an ass on which you can bounce a quarter.

Star is Born [NYP]

Teen soap star and Julia Allison protege Leven Rambin eats a lot of egg whites, protein bars, and peanut butter. But that doesn't mean she won't splurge when she goes out to restaurants, especially if they're "trendy." "I went to Highline for dinner. It's really trendy." Also: "For lunch I went to the Ivy with my boyfriend and a couple friends. Very trendy." Know what else is trendy? Binging and purging. "After the awards, I was so depressed that I didn't win that I ate a whole box of really shitty chocolates from the gift bag, and a whole bag of tortilla chips and a whole tin of chocolate-covered Altoids. Then we went to an after-ceremony dinner and I wasn't even hungry. I was going to throw up from all the chocolate!" Sometimes we actually start feeling a little sad and sorry and wish that there were volunteer pro bono publicists for people like Leven.

Leven Rambin Consoles Herself With Chocolate [NYM]

Some rich dude is going to be banging Julia Allison in Milan for the next week. "Occasionally I think to myself 'I do not, in any way, deserve my life.' (You may think this constantly. I don't entirely blame you.)" Actually, we think Julia deserves every bit of it. [Julia Allison]

This week, Time Out dating columnist Julia Allison asks, 'Is it okay to kind of whore yourself out in order to have a place to crash in the Hamptons on the weekends?' But that lady is as full of surprises as she is full of sparkly photogenic poses and zingy bon mots: Her own personal answer is, 'Maybe not!' See, she's been burned: "Right now [the Hamptons] is "just a place" where the last three men I dated all have houses. Houses to which I am definitely not invited. And, let me assure you, summer is not as much fun when other women are swimming in your ex's pool." But socialgay Kristian Laliberte thinks that sleeping your way into a primo summershare is a-ok, as long as some basic conditions are met: "How nice is the place? Gin Lane address—probably. Hampton Bays—no way."

"The beach" is Glamour tardblogger Alyssa Shelasky's excuse for this outfit, which she describes as "a Southern runaway, like, Juliette Lewis/Natural Born Killers. Fine, my costume made no sense. Just wanted an excuse to wear fake eyelashes, Jessica Simpson extensions (my hair is shoulder length again), and a skanky black bra." The second extreme thing Alyssa is doing is a mistake we have made before: having one's photo taken alongside Julia Allison, whose skin is coated with a special compound that makes every photograph of her look like it came from Us Weekly and which makes anyone standing near her look like a smeary-eyelinered troll. Oh, and here's something else extreme: "My sister is almost done with her teaching year, so she'll be here causing trouble with me soon. I've actually met some guys who would be better for her than me. I've even semi-dated one or two! Have you and your sibs ever exchanged guys/girls? Would that freak a guy out? Actually, it would probably turn them on. Men!" JESUS CHRIST, ALYSSA.

Good To Be Bad [Alyssa]

Though they wanted lotsa jewels and stuff, backyards with swimming pools, bar with stools, fancy foods, lobster, sushi, gear, Versace, Gucci, crazy Lucci, the ladies who gathered atop Gramercy Park Hotel's rooftop garden last night to celebrate Men.Style.com's list of Hottest 25 Women of Fashion instead had to make do with free cocktails, Parliaments and little caviar blinis. We sent the sweet Nikola Tamindzic.

Time Out New York "dating" columnist Julia Allison is a woman with needs: Specifically, she needs a name for her Time Out dating column. Unfortunately, she came by our office and absconded with Richard Blakeley, her personal Albert Maysles, and took to the street to see if New Yorkers had any suggestions. They did! You might too! Be aware: "The Daily Cooze" has already been submitted and rejected.

You may not know it, but press-averse Oscar winner Angelina Jolie is a huge fan of quirky literary quarterlies. While some say she developed her interest in the scene during what we assume was her brief affair with n+1's Marco Roth, it's obvious that she's not beholden to any one particular title. Clearly having heard of the financial drain recently incurred by McSweeney's, the talented thespian took to the streets of Manhattan yesterday with a copy of Dave Eggers' What Is The What? as a show of solidarity. Possibly she also agreed to exchange her lifetime subscription for a pack of playing cards. Celebrities: They're just like a couple of doofuses in Williamsburg! [Ed. Note: Yes, that is a picture of Balk's computer looking at the photo of Angelina Jolie carrying the Dave Eggers book that we were not going to pay $500 to buy. It's a nice picture though! Log into the fine website Splash News and go see!]

After a brief, worrisome ban—imagined, mostly—from "Red Eye," Fox News' late night suicide inducer, Julia Allison was welcomed back to their set last night. Either her fulsome apology for loudmouthing about the show to the New York Observer made everything okay or Red Eye "host" Greg Gutfeld was worried about negative publicity. Or, you know, they needed to fill the seat with someone carrying boobs.

Let's check in and see how Julia Allison's new gig as Time Out dating columnist is going. Maybe she's dropping dirty secrets about media figure she's semi-seeing or offending us by suggesting that women should whore themselves out for shoes. Or! Maybe she's ... getting so lazy that she's calling in Neel Shah and his College Humor compatriots to pinch-hit. Oh, Julia. Already?

Now that crazed theorist Kenneth Eng is behind bars for hammer-swinging and kill-talking, we've come across the hatingest Asian you know's resume and book proposal. (You'll recall the riveting pitch letter.) Why not enjoy them both right now? Keep your eyes peeled for the part where he gets discriminated against on the set of Spider-Man 3.

Because the show is so loose, and because we have such a media-watchdog culture—they could get burned like that. Two words: Don. Imus. You don't know what's going to piss people off. And, my God, the shit that we get into—the sex, the bestiality—holy crap! I can't believe that shit is on Fox News!

Last night was dating columnist Julia Allison's 17th birthday bash for soap actress Leven Rambin at Tenjune, and the members of the media elite who Julia had invited were all there to celebrate. Well, okay, only HufPo gal Rachel Sklar showed up. But it was still a fun time! Until a doorman had a problem with someone (the guest of honor, maybe?) being underage.

Will "Red Eye," the Fox News' over-the-counter late-night sleep aid, be a success?