Denied entry from Japan for being a cokehead, Paris Hilton tweets ominously. Nicole Richie has a bachelorette party in Mexico. Lindsay Lohan might be denied bail after her latest probation violation. Wednesday gossip terrorizes innocent women, children, and men.

Elisabeth Moss files for divorce. Jailbound Lindsay Lohan gets a facial. Michael Jackson's kids will take the stand to discuss his drug use. Tuesday gossip puts its best face and worst faith forward.

Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test for cocaine and now TMZ reports she failed a second test, this time for amphetamines. Possibly it was due to her Adderall prescription. Update: An arrest warrant has been issued for LiLo.

Lindsay Lohan spent Yom Kippur atoning and partying. George Clooney meets his girlfriend's parents. Bruno Mars arrested for drug possession. Tom Cruise's Top Gun love interest gets gay-married.

Bristol Palin's Dancing with the Stars appearance gets sexier. Will Lindsay Lohan's failed drug tests destroy her career (more)? Donald Trump gets shut out of Wall Street 2. New Housewives cast-member. Let's explore Sunday Gossip Roundup with a smile!

Lindsay Lohan admits she failed a drug test; now she faces jail! Russell Brand placed under citizen's arrest for paparazzi beatdown. Did Elle whiten Gabourey Sidibe's face? Paris Hilton's plea deal. Saturday Gossip Roundup is not eating brunch.

TMZ claims that Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test last week, which means she could go back to jail for 30 days. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this girl? If prison and rehab didn't help, she's doomed.

[Lindsay Lohan ditches her baby-hitting black Maserati for a white Porsche Cayman, and goes for a spin in West Hollywood. Image via INF, click to enlarge.]

See the shopping bags in this picture? The stuff inside is worth more than your college education. Are Annette Bening and Warren Beatty on the rocks? Will Christina Hendricks do nude scenes? Thursday gossip asks hard questions.

Lohan is apparently "in conversations" to host SNL on December 4, right after her probation ends. Her previous SNL appearances—in 2004 and 2006—were all attempts to prove she was doing just fine post-Mean Girls. So, good omens. [NYDN]

In the aftermath of Lady Gaga's meaty VMA performance, erotic revelations. Kanye West is a puddle of sorrow. Robert DeNiro cures boner problems with Tiger Balm. Andre Leon Talley falls off a bench. Monday gossip starts the week right.

The 2010 MTV VMAs are currently underway (live chat here), and they opened with a bang, as host Chelsea Handler was accosted by a cameo-making Lindsay Lohan in a bit that spoofed Lohan's recent troubles. Video of the intro, inside.

Lindsay Lohan is red once again. Bristol Palin's Dancing with the Stars performance may suck. Britney Spears is not an abuser, says her former bodyguard! Lady Gaga: cheater. Saturday Gossip Roundup is a chunky heel in your back.

Tim Gunn worries about running into Anna at Fashion Week. Angelina Jolie has barely any friends. 29-year-old Kim Kardashian gets Botox. Snooki insulted to be compared to Lindsay Lohan. TGIFriday gossip.

NBC's Today show made a serious play for Lindsay Lohan's first post-jail interview, but the troubled starlet may now be leaning towards the Oprah Winfrey Show, which is in its final season. Who can resist the lure of Oprah's couch?

Jersey Shore's Snooki pled guilty to disturbing the public enjoyment of the beach and will do two days of community service and pay $533. The judge concluded by calling her "rude," "self-indulgent" and a "Lindsay Lohan wannabe." No respect!

Yup, it's been decided. You're next, Europe. Elsewhere this weekend, some old has-beens fared pretty well, people just kept on taking stuff, and a romantic comedy turned out to be something else altogether.

Bristol Palin's Dancing with the Stars outfit: Revealed. Whoopi Goldberg bought a huge Michael Jordan, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick say everything's chill. A Playboy Playmate might sue Spencer Prat! Monday's Gossip Roundup is a labor of love.

Did Lilo hit a stroller or just barely tap it? Bill Clinton's drama-filled birthday! Lady Gaga starves herself! Jennifer Aniston: Out with a new man! Fashion police prosecute underaged Willow Smith! Saturday Gossip Roundup is making landfall—take cover.

Kat Von D goes public with Jesse James: "I am in love." Kendra Wilkinson wants to bite Beyonce's butt. T.I.'s drug arrest was for ecstasy. Vienna Girardi is so alone. TGIFriday gossip.