How far Aniston has fallen: She might be cougaring with Lohan's sloppy seconds.

A crazed Jerry Lewis shared his feelings about Hollywood's youth and Lindsay Lohan—saying he'd "put her over my knee," "smack her in the mouth," and "be arrested for abusing a woman." Video of his shocking remarks inside.

What will it take to start Travolta's version of the Tiger Woods' mistress parade? T.I. gets arrested for drug possession. Lindsay Lohan fights to stop her father from selling pages from her old diary. Thursday gossip kisses and tells.

Lindsay Lohan breaks her silence—and denies getting $10,000 to pose for the paparazzi. Bar Rafaeli laments "extremely skinny models." Michael Jackson's kids start school. Samantha Ronson's dog ate another dog. Tuesday gossip can't stop howling.

[Lindsay Lohan hops out of her Maserati with last year's Alexander Wang it bag in the crook of her arm, a hot pink bra under a torn shirt, and sale stickers on the soles of her shoes. Image via INF.]

[On her second public outing since leaving jail and rehab, Lindsay Lohan sports chipped blue nail polish and a sheer skirt en route to a business meeting in Santa Monica. We miss the "fuck u" nails. Image via INF.]

Kim Kardashian's search for an Emmys dress frustrates. Lindsay Lohan drives a Maserati after midnight. Taylor Swift frolics with a possible boyfriend. Heidi Montag worries about her face falling off. TGIFriday gossip.

She's ba-ack! After 13 days of incarceration and 22 more in rehab, Lindsay Lohan has returned to Twitter: "Clearly.. Paparazzi shouldn't be allowed to take pictures or video while someone's driving or at a stop light. 4every1's sake #trafficpolice"

This week, Star magazine investigates the perilous lives of celebrity assistants. But what's the point of having power if you can't abuse it? A guide to which underling abuses are reasonable, and which will just get you sent to jail.

Post-prison Lindsay Lohan is more popular than ever, apparently, and she's now cashing in. LiLo is reportedly entertaining all offers, including paid interviews, a New York radio show, and merely carrying products in paparazzi pictures. Sure crime doesn't pay?

"Do it again," murmurs Miley after a public, videotaped spanking. Drew Barrymore wants to punch a "bitch" journalist. Enrique Iglesias: "Fame is the best aphrodisiac you can have." Thursday gossip is for the fetishists.

Elin Nordegren gives her first and last interview. Lindsay Lohan is freed from rehab. Heidi Montag wants her old boobs back, but not before she sells her sex tape. Wednesday gossip declares its independence.

After 22 days at court-ordered UCLA Medical Center rehabilitation, actress Lindsay Lohan has been discharged. She was "spirited out the back" into a luxurious hot-air balloon piloted by a talking dog, and, after launching into space, was never seen again.

Why did Lourdes Leon wear a marijuana-themed wristband? Lindsay Lohan may go free tomorrow. Taylor Momsen rather regrets her latest teen angst interview. Cuba Gooding Jr. parties with Johnny Weir. Tuesday gossip makes bold statements.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's Sex Tape Will Feature pre- and post-op Heidi. Lindsay Lohan can't exercise. Real Housewives of New Jersey blow-up! Saturday Gossip Round-up is part of the problem.

Now is your chance to reprimand Jennifer Aniston. Spencer Pratt is writing a tell-all. Miranda Kerr is with child. Lindsay Lohan is off drugs. Twelve Duggars get the chicken pox at the same time. TGIFriday gossip.

Alexander Skarsgard doesn't use a sock for sex scenes, but Anna Paquin uses a "patch." Lindsay's first post-jail interview and Duff's wedding pictures are both worth $1 million. Erykah Badu gets probation for going nude. Wednesday gossip bares all.

Kim defies her former BFF and sensei. Lindsay Lohan could get out of rehab this week. Lance Bass gets a drink tossed in his face. Lil' Wayne eats prison beef stick. Monday gossip faces consequences.

Tabloid sex fiend Andrea Peyser can most accurately be summed up as a ball of ill-concealed sexual repression who constantly lashes out at delusional symbols of impropriety, out of guilt. Sad, really. Today: why are all young girls sluts, 100%?

Neil Patrick Harris is having twins. Lindsay Lohan is mentoring young girls. Katy Perry crashes a prom. Maybe we're going to see angry Mel Gibson text messages. Famous matchmaker's engagement goes sour. Sunday's Gossip Round Up, coming up!