Montana Fishburne says her forthcoming sex tape is a calculated career choice. Foxy Brown flees the police after a massive brawl. Lindsay Lohan has no pillow. Robert Pattinson is a nail biter. TGIFriday gossip. Updated with Montana's DVD cover.

Lindsay Lohan's in jail and we all want to know how America's favorite trainwreck is holding up behind bars. Chelsea Handler may have hit the nail on the head with this hilarious dramatization of the entire Lohan family visiting LiLo.

Lindsay Lohan once recorded a song "from daughter to father" saying her deadbeat dad broke her heart. Four years later and with his daughter conveniently in jail, Michael's got a response: a horrifying cringeworthy muzak tribute to "daddy's little girl."

Paris Hilton denies getting paid $1 million to be a Malaysian playboy's personal Barbie doll. George Clooney's girlfriend is tied to an Italian cocaine scandal. An Inception star talks about gay trysts. Thursday gossip works hard for its money.

Oksana and Mel's troubles began at an Australian placenta ceremony. Lawyers bug Lindsay Lohan to testify about her strip search. Zac Efron blows $2000 on booze and strippers. Heidi Montag is missing. Wednesday gossip is a hot mess.

La Lohan's August release date can't come soon enough for the company that keeps her family orange. The tanning salon's planning a rally for tomorrow. Fake bakers unite!

Hollywood burglar Alexis Neiers shared a jail cell block with Lindsay Lohan, which is either great luck for limelight-addicted Alexis (more interviews) or terrible luck (all anyone wants to talk about is Lindsay). Here's what she has to say.

Today on Good Day New York, Greg Kelly gushed about the set's new couch to TMZ correspondent Dax. The discussion moved on to Lindsay Lohan, which inevitably included her mother, Dina. Greg Kelly finds Dina to be simply laughable.

Last week, we discovered Mel Gibson is truly a monster and LiLo checked into the slammer. With the amount of sloppy news coverage spewing out of Inside Edition and local news stations everywhere, The Soup is having a field day.

Jon Bon Jovi gets in a fame fight with Bono. Lindsay Lohan "made some friends" in jail. Paris Hilton humiliates her ex-boyfriend. Pooping pigeons ruin a Kings of Leon show. Monday gossip takes sides.

Lindsay Lohan got a "secret" new tattoo of a little sleeping girl (she "liked the innocence," apparently) on her arm. Can you see it? It's like one of those Magic Eye things, but even less fulfilling. Click through for closeups.

Oksana's got more tapes—this time, they're voicemails. Amanda Byrnes unretires. Incarcerated Lindsay Lohan: taunted! Someone didn't recognize Kevin Connolly. Vienna Girardi poses in a bikini. Sunday gossip roundup was like, No way. And she was like, Yes way.

Lindsay Lohan can't have visitors or bottled water—but she's getting out earlier. Real Housewife megameltdown avoided. Celebrity siblings are in trouble. Did Oksana tape Mel after he accused her of cheating? Saturday's Gossip Roundup goes well with strawberries.

We have some of the most creative readers in the world, so naturally they responded to the blank Lindsay Lohan Prison Postcard yesterday by filling it out in all sorts of hilarious ways. Here are some of the best.

Since Brangelina definitely aren't breaking up, gossips dig deep for rumors from Angie's past. SamRo visits LiLo in jail. Bret Michaels' tour bus busted for drugs. Mel Gibson's latest rumored rant: "I want Jew blood on my hands." TGIFriday gossip.

Lindsay Lohan's lawyer thinks she can get her client out of the slammer before August.

Want to tell Inmate No. 2409752 (aka Lindsay Lohan) how much you miss her? Can't find her prison address or something to write your thoughts on? Fret not. We've done all the hard work. Just print, stamp, and send!

Lindsay's family gets special permission to visit on a week day. A photograph of Mel Gibson's possibly abused baby surfaces. Britney Spears is possibly on Team Mel. Katy Perry floats in a cloud of cotton candy. Thursday gossip is tentative.

After strip and cavity searches, LiLo is in jail—and all the inmates love her! Snooki contemplates her co-stars' jealousies. Jill Zarin dips a toe into politics. Wednesday gossip is cold at first, but it warms up fast.

L.A. Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore says Lindsay Lohan has been very cooperative since surrendering herself this morning and will serve only "about 14 days" of her 90-day sentence. That info should help in our LiLo jailbird betting pool.