Lindsay Lohan's dinner tonight: turkey casserole with noodles, coleslaw, apple sauce, wheat bread, and milk.

As we speak, Lindsay Lohan is settling into Lynwood's Century Regional Detention Center. (With a new, smirking mug shot to boot.) How many days will she actually serve? How much will her first post-jail interview fetch? Join our betting pool.

Lindsay Lohan surrendered herself to a 90-day jail sentence today. Gawker intern Molly Fitzpatrick served as virtual court reporter, watching livestreaming video of Lindsay's arrival and court appearance and culling the highlights for posterity. This is her story.

After her new lawyer bailed and her old lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, jumped in at the eleventh hour to represent her, Lindsay Lohan was in the courtroom for five minutes this morning before being cuffed and hauled off to jail.

Lohan's day of surrender is nigh, and she has no lawyer and is tweeting sad little "eeeks." Oksana Grigorieva walked away from $15 million. Enrique Iglesias photographs his junks. Tuesday gossip is full of foreboding.

Lindsay Lohan's latest lawyer, former O.J. Simpson attorney Robert Shapiro—whom she hired when her previous lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, fled screaming into the mountains—met with Lohan's judge to say he "could no longer represent her." [TMZ]

"As we go to press… we still haven't gotten our interview [with Linday Lohan]," Complex's August/September issue opines. What follows is the journalistic equivalent of battered wife syndrome, the magazine making excuses for the starlet who blew them off.

Gwyneth introduces her spiritual guru to boat shoes crowd. Mel Gibson is not actually moving to Australia. (But maybe he should.) The Situation is writing a book. Lindsay Lohan is still in denial about jail. Monday gossip wants to believe.

Christina Aguilera is the poor man's Lady Gaga. Jennifer Aniston was spotted with a mystery guy. The Situation gets a sweet deal. Now that their sport is cool, soccer stars are finally getting some. Sunday's Gossip roundup is no troll.

Paris Hilton gets busted for pot in Corisca. US Weekly paid a lot of money for their Bristol/Levi exclusive. Lindsay Lohan: Going to jail. Wesley Snipes: Also going to jail. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is filled with crime and punishment.

Pamela Anderson fights for her right to be objectified. Bristol Palin refuses to look at Levi's Playgirl spread. Which iPhone app did Oksana Grigorieva use to record Mel Gibson's terrifying rants? Lady Gaga house-hunts in the Hamptons. TGIFriday gossip.

When German GQ scored an interview with Lindsay Lohan, little did they know their magazine would go down in history as the last place Lindsay Lohan pimped herself before receiving a prison sentence. Crushable's Hillary Reinsberg interprets and translates.

Even as she's about to head into jail, someone's still paying Lindsay Lohan to shill for their products. Now she's warning her fans not to Google her or their computers could fall victim to viruses. Wait, Lindsay still has fans?

Lindsay Lohan was seen checking into a sober living facility in West Hollywood yesterday and her mother Dina and ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson were spotted there later in the day. Is she trying to weasel out of jail time?

Have you seen this website, I Write Like? It's pretty simple: You paste some text, it "analyzes" the writing, and matches it to a famous author. So who does Mel Gibson rant like? What if I told you Margaret Atwood?

And now for O.J.'s old lawyer Robert Shapiro's next trick: Keeping Lindsay Lohan out of jail. Shapiro is now repping Lindsay. His strategy is not to appeal her sentence, but to convert it into a stint in rehab. [TMZ]

When border police arrested 29 year-old Eugene Todie at the Canadian border, they found he was wearing one of those court-ordered ankle GPS ankle bracelets. But Todie had an excellent excuse: It was a show of support for Lindsay Lohan.

To celebrate, the starcrossed lovers of Wasilla are dressed like Jehovah's Witness proselytizers on the cover of Us. Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem got married in secret. Are Rihanna and Chris reuniting? Wednesday gossip has wedding fever.

"Lesbian Prison Gangs Waiting to Get Hands on Lindsay Lohan," reads Fox News' headline. "Everyone Will Want a Piece of Lindsay," reports The Sun. The bottom feeders went there: The imagined rape of a starlet has become a talking point.

That million dollar figure for LiLo's total jail earnings is looking more and more likely. Spencer Pratt is homeless. Robert Pattinson picks a fight with Courtney Love. Tuesday gossip keeps its eyes on the prize.