Lindsay Lohan is "on hiatus" from her power-publicist Leslie Sloan-Zelnick, reports the website Crushable. So the actress will have to explain suing a taunting milkaholic baby and getting fired from an escort job on her own. She's a very creative communicator! Update: We've been told that Lohan has been on hiatus with her publicist since last summer and Sloane-Zelnick has been typically directing reporters to contact Lohan's lawyer instead.

Lindsay Lohan has gone off the deep end of paranoid narcissism. A Super Bowl ad featuring talking babies that refers to a "milkaholic" named "Lindsay" is about her, she says, and she's suing for $100M.

In addition to Palin's mystery show, Mark Burnett is shopping Martha Stewart whirls into your life, whips up a quiche, and fixes everything. For the first guests, may I suggest...

Remember last fall when Lindsay Lohan was named "artistic adviser" at fashion house Emanuel Ungaro and she put on a totally disastrous show featuring glittery nipple tassels and bare buttocks? Not surprisingly, her career as a designer is over. [Reuters]

[The respected artist out in Paris for Fashion Week, a place she really can afford to be; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Carey Mulligan won't let Shia drink. Russell Simmons lets slip he's got a huge dick. Mo'Nique acts like a diva. Mariah Carey acts like her spanx has cut off circulation to her brain. Sunday gossip has Oscars fever.

LiLo is tardy to the party. Gabourey Sidibe says 'no' to Oprah. Nicole Kidman loses a role to a 17-year-old Disney star. Sandra Bullock prepares for the Oscars by stocking up on tissue. Saturday gossip deals with rejection.

St. Naomi uses her money to buy her way into heaven. Jon Gosselin has a small wang, The McSteamy's have a baby, Lindsay Lohan is doomed, and Angelina banged Mick Jagger. For Friday's gossip, you're stuck with me.

He thought he could call her "heavy" if he said "top," first. Ke$ha makes fun of Britney. Kendra Wilkinson's baby weight gave her postpartum depression. "Jessica Simpson weighs in on fat jokes." Thursday's gossip roundup was teased as a child.

[Lindsay Lohan participates in an ancient Milanese tradition by throwing Red Bull at paparazzi while leaving a Fashion Week show; image via INF]

Sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson's big orgy debut angers his non-sparkly girlfriend! Lindsay Lohan is out on the town, partying again. A-Rod dumped his new girlfriend. The Bachelor people got married! Oprah has secrets. Presenting my final Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Wonder how she feels about that "allergic to vagina" thing. Brangelina kiss in public, LiLo wants to move to England, Dakota Fanning turns sweet 16, Mickey Rourke admires Megan Fox's luscious acting talent. Come bask in Wednesday gossip's reflected glory.

Papa Lohan's acting out coincided with LiLo's "rock bottom." The search for Andrew Koenig continues. Russell Brand leaves Katy Perry "bedridden" for days. Lady Gaga wants to make babies with her stylist. Tuesday gossip is in need of a father figure.

• Lindsay Lohan was supposed to go to Vienna so she could accompany creepy billionaire Richard Lugner to the Vienna Opera Ball. (He brings a different celeb or model to the event every year and pays them $150,000 for the pleasure.) Sadly, Lindsay missed her chance to collect the much-needed cash. She ran up a $22K bill at the airport duty free shop and couldn't pay the bill, and the ensuing drama forced her to miss the flight. So she didn't get Lugner's check, she has $22K in stuff she doesn't need, and her house is even more cluttered. That worked out well! [DM, P6]
• The reason Alec Baldwin was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night yesterday? Apparently he got into a fight with his 14-year-old daughter, Ireland, over the phone and threatened to "take some pills," then she called 911 and an ambulance showed up, and Alec was like, "Ugh, fine I'll go to the hospital," and he spent about an hour in the ER before doctors sent him home. His rep says it was "all a misunderstanding," and it's possible that his ex-wife, Kim Basinger, actually prompted Ireland to call 911 in an effort to embarrass him. But Alec didn't make the situation any better when he returned home on Thursday night and "assaulted" a Post photographer who was waiting for him outside his apartment building. [Fox411, NYP, Daily News, Us]
• John Mayer broke down on stage in Nashville on Wednesday, thanked his band for standing by him, and vowed to "quit the media game." Finally! [Us]
• Bill Clinton was hospitalized yesterday after complaining of chest pains. Doctors inserted two stents into a blocked artery and the ex-president is now at home in Chappaqua and "in good spirits." [People]

Billionaire Richard Lugner—Austria's prince of nouveau riche—pays an estimated $150K each year for a celebrity escort to the Vienna Opera Ball. Lindsay Lohan landed this year's gig—but apparently bungled the details so badly, Lugner said das fuggedaboudit.

• Alec Baldwin was rushed to Lenox Hill Hospital early this morning. What happened? That's still unclear for the time being. Although whatever it was, it couldn't have been all that serious considering the hospital released him about an hour later. [People]
• Did John Edwards propose to Rielle Hunter the same day he finally fessed up to being the father of Hunter's 2-year-old baby? Are they now planning to move into a $3.5 million beachfront home where they'll live happily ever after? That's what the National Enquirer reported yesterday. And it's probably best not to doubt the tabloid when it comes to tawdry revelations about America's sleaziest politician. [NYP, P6]
• John Mayer made a bunch of stupid comments in an interview with Playboy earlier this week. And he's been apologizing for them ever since. [Us, P6]
• A new season of Real Housewives of New York City returns in a couple of weeks and Kelly Bensimon is doing her damndest to remain front and center. She's got a new boyfriend (Top Chef contestant Sam Talbot, who split with his wife recently); and she'll soon appear nude in Playboy and says she prepared for the shoot by drinking Corona and eating chicken wings. [P6, Us]

• Alex Rodriguez's plan to bed every woman in Hollywood continues apace. The Yankee and Cameron Diaz are now hooking up, according to OK!, although now that the news is out, he's probably already moved on to someone new. Which is too bad, really, since RodDiaz has a nice ring to it. [OK!]
• Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, was charged with involuntary manslaughter yesterday. (He pleaded not guilty and faces up to four years behind bars if convicted.) At the arraignment, prosecutors asked that Murray's medical license be revoked, but a judge turned down the request, so if you've been wondering what it's like to get pumped up with propofol, you still have time. [NYP, TMZ]
• It's been a busy week for Angelina Jolie. Yesterday she and Brad Pitt said they plan to sue Britain's News of the World for reporting that they're planning to divorce. And today she's off to Haiti to meet with earthquake victims, since they've been requesting her help—or so she says. [Us, PE]
• She may have spent every episode of Jersey Shore whining about not having a boyfriend, but Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi seems to have landed the man of her dreams: a "typical guido juicehead with a good personality," who also has waxed eyebrows, double-pierced ears, and a penchant for Ed Hardy. [NYDN]
• Despite recent reports that Donald and Melania Trump are having marriage troubles, The Donald says "all is well." Then again he said the same thing when his casinos were going bankrupt and his real estate holdings were imploding, so you may want to take his denial with a grain of salt. [People]

The Huffington Post looked for suckers in a target-rich environment; Lindsay Robertson offered a shocking new David Paterson rumor; and Lindsay Lohan is frightened by Google. The Twitterati hated the players and the game.

• It looks like Madonna and Jesus Luz haven't broken up after all. The singer and her Brazilian boy toy attended the London premiere for Tom Ford's A Single Man on Monday night and "they were all over each other" and "kissing in front of everyone," according to people who were there. So if they have broken up, well, they have a funny way of showing it. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan isn't a hoarder because she has a shopping problem; it's because "a lot of it is gifted," says Dina Lohan. LiLo and her mom/party pal say they plan to donate a lot of Lindsay's "stuff" to charity and the public will be able to buy some of it on their website. So head over to lohanhouse.com in case ripped leggings and Red Bull-stained clothing is your thing. [People]
• Tiger Woods is a free man: After a month in sex rehab, he's reportedly flown home to Florida with his wife. So consider yourself warned. [Radar]
• Since things didn't work out too well with Brad, Vince, or John, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she "wants to be set up with a wealthy businessman, not a celebrity," at least according to an anonymous "insider." Somebody call Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger. Stat! [Us]

Stars... they're Just Like Us! If we're hoarders, that is. On tonight's Insider, Niecy Nash visited Lindsay Lohan's home and exposed the troubled starlet as a scatterbrained keeper of pile upon pile of clothing, shoes and general junk. Video, inside.