• As if Lindsay Lohan didn't have enough problems in her life, it seems she's a "secret hoarder," too. In an interview with the Style Network's Niecy Nash, LiLo's shows all her "stuff," which includes a bedroom filled with shoe boxes and a living room that's been turned into a giant closet. On the plus side, if Sam Ronson ever goes missing, at least the police will know where to start looking. [Us, DM]
• Tiger Woods is supposedly leaving sex rehab in Mississippi by the end of this week, which means he's changed his ways or he's planning on playing in a golf tournament in Arizona in two weeks and he's not going to let his compulsive sexual habits get in the way of that. Elin Nordegren has already flown down to pick him up. Just so there isn't an incident involving a flight attendant in the first-class lounge on the way home. [Radar, NYP]
• Season three of the Real Housewives of New York debuts next month and now word comes that creepy couple Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen may be booted before season four. It's supposedly because "viewers don't have a positive reaction to them" and Simon threw a fit when he found out he wasn't going to be paid as much as the housewives because, well, he's not a housewife, although you're excused if you thought otherwise. [NYDN]
• Precious star—and Academy Award nominee—Gabourey Sidibe would really, really like for Justin Timberlake to be her Oscar date. So, Jessica Biel, if you could step aside and make it happen, that would be great. [People]
• Jon Stewart sat down with Bill O'Reilly last night. Highlights here. [Gawker]

• Have Madonna and Jesus Luz gone their separate ways? That's what report today indicates, suggesting it was the couple's "overall lack of mutual interests" that caused the split and it was Luz who called things off. [CST]
• Rip Torn appeared in court yesterday and was formally charged with trespassing, burglary, and possessing a firearm following his arrest over the weekend for breaking into a bank because he thought it was his own house. In all fairness, though, Torn was in rural Connecticut and the "bank" is located in a two-story colonial, so this could have been a mistake that anyone could have made, no? Maybe not. Either way, Torn is now headed to rehab upstate. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Charlize Theron recently split up with her longtime partner, Stuart Townsend, but she may already have a new man in her life: Theron was spotted in LA last week on what appeared to be a date. [P6]
• Haven't the people of Haiti suffered enough? Hot on the heels of John Travolta's trip to the devastated nation to spread Scientology to the masses and now Michael Lohan and Kate Major say they, too, are planning to head to Haiti to "help" quake victims. [Radar]

• The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore officially signed on for season two over the weekend. (Although MTV may now be forced to rename the show, since the cast could be spending next season in the Hamptons.) If you need something to tide you over until the summer, you could always go out and pick up Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's new cologne, which is appropriately named "The Sitch" and smells like a mix of self-tanner, Axe body spray, and some random girl's perfume. [Us, NYP, P6]
• So much for those rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up. At the Director's Guild of America Awards in LA on Saturday night, the couple looked "as happy as can be," Pitt pulled a chair out for his wife (what a gentleman!), and he spent the evening gently caressing her back. [Us, People]
• Did you miss the Grammys last night? Lady Gaga wore a dress that looked like a fifth-grade solar system science project before descending into a fire pit and then playing piano opposite a crystal-encrusted Elton John; Pink did a Cirque de Soleil-esque performance in a nude bodysuit, twirling on a trapeze and singing upside down; Beyonce won a record-breaking six Grammys; Taylor Swift walked away with four, including album of the year; and the crowd was treated to a 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson as well as brief speeches by two of his kids, Prince and Paris. Click through for the list of winners and the fashion highlights/lowlights. [People, NYP, NYDN, MTV, People]

For 500 Points: The New York Post reports on "Austrian billionaire Richard Lugner," an "oddball" who's been taking celebrities on dates for 19 years, and ponying up serious scrilla for it. So what does $150K with Lindsay Lohan get you?

When you're an indolent billionaire and your entire existence revolves around getting (young, female) celebrities to hang out with you—and you shell out a small fortune to make that happen—the least these stars could do is spell your name correctly, right? Well, at least if one of them ends up getting your name wrong, you can always have someone from your office notify them of the error so they acknowledge the mistake publicly:

• The first photos of Tiger Woods at Mississippi sex rehab facility he's been staying at have arrived. He's wearing a hoodie, baseball cap, and pair of shorts in the pics. And he has a not-so-happy expression on his face, which is probably how you'd respond, too, if you were in sex rehab and you walked out of your front door to find a National Enquirer photographer lying in wait. [NE]
• Will today be the day Conan finally settles with NBC? Quite possibly. [NYDN]
• Several of Lindsay Lohan's friends think she may be cutting herself (again) after she showed up at a pre-Golden Globes party with a fresh scar on her arm. In other LiLo news, she was spotted making out with a random French actor the other night, in case that news is of any interest you. [NYDN, TMZ]
• Are you ready to bid adieu to the charming cast of cable TV's classiest new reality show? Yes, the finale of Jersey Shore airs on MTV tomorrow night. But it will be followed by a one-hour reunion special and producers are already hard at work on prequel called "Before the Shore," so rest assured you'll be seeing plenty of the Shore crew in the months ahead. [NYP]
• Just in time for the new season of Real Housewives of New York City, Kelly Killoren Bensimon has agreed to appear in the March issue of Playboy. The 41-year-old mother of two will appear on the cover. But there will also be six-page "nude pictorial"—shot by Kelly's ex-husband Gilles Bensimon—inside the magazine as well, you'll undoubtedly be thrilled to hear. [Us, P6]

John Mayer: "The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating." Heidi Montag: "If Cleopatra were alive now, I'm sure she'd have triple D's." Kelly Bensimon's Playboy shoot: "What sexy looks like at 41." Wednesday's gossip roundup is highly quotable.

• Lady Gaga collapsed in her dressing room last night just before she was set to perform at Purdue University. Paramedics were called and she reported she was "feeling dizzy and having trouble breathing," and the concert had to be canceled. But she's okay today and has since apologized to her "little monsters" (fans) on Twitter, so everything is cool now. [Sun, MTV]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Jersey Shore's Paul "DJ Pauly D" Devecchio and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino at a club in LA the other night. If you, too, want to fist-pump with Pauly, you can: He'll be DJing at a Midtown baron Jan. 23, and the cover is only $10. [Us, NYP]
• George Clooney is hosting a telethon next week to raise funds for Haiti. Other celebs pitching in to help: Gisele Bundchen has pledged $1.5 million with husband Tom Brady; Madonna says she's good for $250K; and David Blaine is performing for three days in Times Square as part of a fundraiser for the Red Cross. [Us, NYDN, People]

• Those rumors about Tiger Woods in rehab have returned. According to People, Woods checked into a sex rehab clinic around New Year's and will be there until "Valentine's Day or thereabouts." (Perfect timing!) As for his estranged wife, Elin Nordegren, she's moved into a new home that's just a couple of miles from the gated community where she used to live with Woods. [People, TMZ, NYDN]
• Have Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel split up? That's what some people are saying, since she spent the last week climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro while he was in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. And couples that are really in love would never spend a moment apart, would they? Didn't think so. [Radar]
• The Post reported a few days ago that Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly have made plans to get married in November. Naturally, this had led the Daily News to report today that the story is totally untrue and the couple hasn't even discussed getting engaged, at least according to one of Minka's friends. [NYDN]
• Forbes released its list of Hollywood's "top-earning couples" yesterday. The winner? That would be Beyoncé and Jay-Z, who reeled in $122 million last year, or more than double what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt collected. Possibly related: Beyoncé said yesterday that she plans to take a "hiatus" from singing so she can "live life." Which is what you'd do, too, if you made nine figures over the last 12 months. [Forbes, NYDN]
• The Conan-Leno mess is bad news for NBC. But it's also made late-night TV sorta watchable again, which is nice. [Gawker]

What is it about this girl that she could be solving multi-variable equations with Nobel winners it'd still feel like a teenage slumber party? Watch LiLo's light bulbs go off: "The traffickers are in the wrong. ...I mean, come on!"

The Hollywood Life editrix has spent years trying to teach us celebrities are just like us. Well, now she's living like a real celebrity by throwing her daughter a Bat Mitzvah fit for a queen. Marquee, swag, open bar! Wheee!

Today at Gawker.TV, Piers Morgan is a creep, The Dana Carvey Show is reborn, Charles Barkley impersonates Alicia Keys, Lindsay Lohan shows her charitable side, and we take a look at the lessons to be learned from The Late Shift.

Lindsay Lohan, recognized for her vacillating sexual preferences, talent for offscreen antics, and mission to keep us all comfortably be-legginged, is going Jolie and getting all altruistic on our asses!

• A photographer says he plans to file a lawsuit against Lindsay Lohan after her driver "nearly killed" him in a hit-and-run accident on Sunday. The paparazzo says he's "lucky to be alive" and now plans to make sure Lindsay "goes to jail" for her crimes despite the fact LiLo wasn't even the one driving, and the photographer only injured his wrist and never even had to go to the hospital. [TMZ, NYP]
• Have Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly set a date? According to the Post, which conducted an undercover investigation last week, the couple are planning to get married in November at the Oheka Castle on Long Island, which is where Kevin Jonas got married recently. [NYP]
• Another Beyoncé concert is stirring up controversy. Less than two weeks after she got into trouble for performing for Hannibal Khadafy comes the news that residents of Trinidad are up in arms over a $1 million Beyoncé concert planned for February 18. Locals claim it will divert from the country's annual Carnival celebration. [Sun]

On loan to Milan's team, Becks performs a strip tease, revealing handsome undies. LiLo is involved in a hit and run. Whitney and Brody "canoodle." Elijah Wood hosts Lord of the Wings, an eating contest. Here comes Monday gossip.

• Gwyneth Paltrow got into a minor car crash on the icy streets of London the other day. Don't worry—she wasn't hurt fine—although she may want to reconsider that all-juice "fast" she started at the beginning of the new year. [DM]
• The little girl that Casey Johnson adopted a few years ago, Ava, will be raised by her mother and sisters, according to reps for the family. And the Tila Tequila's craziness continues. Yesterday, she emerged from her house to pose in a skanky outfit for photographers, and she continues to rant on about her "fiancée" on Twitter. Meanwhile, Johnson's former girlfriend, Courtenay Semel—who set Johnson's hair on fire a year ago—has been speaking out, as has Johnson's other former girlfriend—model Jasmine Lennard, who accused Johnson late last year of robbing her and leaving a used vibrator in her bed.
• The reason for Gary Coleman's recent hospitalization? He says he had "a little seizure activity" after he found out that the producers of a film he worked on recently had no plans to remove a full-frontal shot of him. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan claimed the other day that one of her friends stole sketches of her new clothing collection. But now two different designers have come out to accuse LiLo of copying their designs. The president of LiLo's company says the claims are "false and have no merit or validity whatsoever." [People]

• The Casey Johnson saga continues: Yesterday, Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips, both of whom were pals of the late heiress, showed up at Tila Tequila's house to take possession of Casey's two dogs. A screaming fight ensued, and the police had to be called in to mediate, since Tequila claimed the two women were taking away the canines to be euthanized. There's some bizarre video of Tila acting crazy, if you're interested. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Peter Orzsag, the seemingly straight-laced White House budget director (and the owner of the worst toupee in Washington), has been hiding a little secret. It seems he got engaged to ABC News correspondent Bianna Golodryga a few weeks ago only after dumping his previous girlfriend, shipping heiress Claire Milonas, who happened to be pregnant with their baby at the time. [NYP]
• Speaking of embarrassing White House news, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the fameseeking couple who crashed the state dinner back in November, will be collecting $5,000 to host a party at a Las Vegas club next week. [P6]
• The reason Howard Stern regular, Artie Lange, was hospitalized recently: He tried to commit suicide by stabbing himself nine times. Surgeons managed to save him "despite heavy bleeding." [P6]
• Jersey Shore will be coming back for a second season—or at least that's what one of the cast members is now saying. In the meantime, the crew will continue to collect appearance fees for showing up at bars and clubs. Prices range from $3,000 to $7,500 a piece, or you could pay $30,000 for the whole bunch. And just think of all the hair gel that could buy! [NYDN]
• Lady Gaga has signed a deal with Polaroid to become the brand's "creative director and inventor of specialty products." It's a touch unclear what this will entail exactly, but she may develop "imaging products" for the company and market a line of Gaga-branded cameras and accessories. [People, NYP]

It took 20 hours to get Kate's hair to a socially acceptable state. LiLo gets kicked off a private jet and a commercial airplane. Gary Coleman has a seizure. Political relevance infiltrates Page Six, and it's not okay: Thursday gossip.

[Lindsay Lohan and Sister stretch at the airport; image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Kate Hudson was supposedly holding out hope that she and Alex Rodriguez would reunite one day soon. But it looks like it may be time for Kate to let the dream die. A-Rod's new flame is a "gorgeous blonde" who he met at a gym in Miami. [P6]
• In happier celebrity couple news—and after months of schmoopy public displays of affection—Katy Perry and Russell Brand are now engaged. Brand reportedly proposed while in vacation in India, a trip they decided to take after Perry expressed her love for "Indian culture while they were eating curry." [Us]
• An autopsy has been performed on Casey Johnson, the socialite and pharma heiress who was discovered dead on Monday. There weren't any signs of trauma, but more should be revealed when toxicology tests are completed. In the meantime, friends of Johnson report she went into a diabetic coma on several occasions over the past year, "spent the last months of her life in a suicidal drug haze," and had been living in squalor up until her death, since her family had cut her off. Speaking of the Johnson clan, they're planning to have a private funeral for Casey later this week. [TMZ, NYP, NYDN, People]
• In other Johnson news, she was dealing with a long list of legal problems when she died, including a lawsuit by Porsche (for failing to keep up with her car payments), and another suit by a nanny service (which claimed it was owed money). As for fame addict Tila Tequila, her alleged fiancée, she's been busy posting to Twitter, recounting the "haunting visions" she's been having of Johnson and how they "made such a lovely couple." [TMZ, NYP, Us]