Gwyneth won't play Nicole's wife in a movie because Kidman dissed her. Lindsay Lohan is more than $500,000 in debt. Sandra Bullock is in trouble again. Jennifer Aniston is going to direct. Monday's gossip is a damsel in distress.

Larry King plans to fight his wife in court. Charlie Sheen's wife moves out. Kiefer Sutherland is ejected from a strip club. Kim Kardashian has a new boyfriend. Ricky Martin may make a porn. Friday's gossip readies for date night.

Now that Charlie Sheen is supposedly back on coke and hookers, it's clear there are a bunch of stars out there who are at risk of ruining their lives due to drugs, booze, and other bad behavior.

Between Jesse's epic custody battle and this, they've had a tumultuous year. Lindsay Lohan parties with Mischa Barton, whose ex calls her a plus-sized heifer. Two public make-outs. One scorched-earth email. Five Jesse James mistresses. TGIFriday gossip.

Ed Westwick dumps Jessica Szohr over a dramatic jetsetting affair. Lindsay Lohan's new stepmother used to be her assistant, and even Dina thinks it's "incestuous." Whitney Houston wasn't snorting coke, she has allergies. XOXO, Thursday Gossip Roundup.

Not only might it get her banned from the country but her documentary about child trafficking drew only 224,000 viewers when it aired on BBC April 1. More people watched an old Gene Kelly film at the same time.

Falling outside a club last week, LiLo said the paparazzi pushed her. After falling again last night, LiLo was denied entry from another club—and says it's the paparazzi's fault, for bribing bouncers to humiliate her. Is it true?

The walking tragedy that is LiLo takes a turn for the cringe-worthy. Charlie Sheen wants to quit his TV show. Michael Douglas laments his wilting libido. Tiger's kindergarten teacher has Gloria Allred on retainer and "feelings" to "express." TGIFriday gossip.

Or something! The troubled artist went on a little crazy Twitter spree today, complaining that her horrible father Michael (who she just calls "Someone") used to "psychically" abuse her. We're pretty sure she meant "physically," but who knows! Here, read:

Lourdes wishes her mom didn't date men young enough to be her brother. A woman named Skittles Valentine tells all about her Jesse James orgy. Khloe Kardashian goes Girls Gone Wild. Thursday's gossip roundup is overexposed.

And have we reached a consensus on which is worse, yet? Tiger Woods' mistress talks tampons, Bode Miller gets dirty at a Playboy party, Heidi Montag schools Lindsay Lohan. Here's your Wednesday gossip.

Sources say the star has made up her mind. Lindsay Lohan nonsensically addresses her white powder accident. Mischa Barton barfs. Levi Johnston is back for more. Michael Jackson wasn't dead at the hospital. Tuesday's gossip is alive. It's alive!

Falling on that prickly pear last week set of a chain reaction ruining LiLo's life. Jimi Hendrix has a sex tape. George Michael's internet sex life reveled. Miley says good-bye to her music career. Here's your Saturday gossip.

Won't somebody save tragic ragamuffin Sunny James? Her father has three mistresses on the record, now. Lady Gaga contemplates dying on stage. Tiger Woods courted LeAnn Rimes. Brad Pitt talks about his beard. Thursday gossip has orphans and a widow.

[Lindsay Lohan takes a bit of a digger on her way to a friend's house after hitting the clurbs in Lors Angrilys; image via Splash]

The unemployable starlet's only gig was helping children in India, and that may be in jeopardy now that the country is thinking of banning her due to visa violations and talking shit about the country on Twitter.

Mrs. Pratt's bikini top overfloweth and the paparazzi goes wild. What caused the Winslet-Mendes divorce? Ashley Dupre sets her hair on fire while posing naked. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt dares to wear pants. Wednesday gossip is full of risks.

Lindsay Lohan's new (alleged) lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, is of course a crazy fameball who likes to have her picture taken with her horrible clients, like Michael Lohan. Here are some Facebook photos to that effect.

That's Ovadia at right last summer with Gosselin—presumably before she began representing his ex Hailey Glassman over charges that she ransacked Gosselin's apartment—and Michael Lohan's ex-girlfriend Erin Muller.

Stupid lawsuits are filed every day, and Lindsay Lohan does stupid things every day. But is she really behind the E*Trade lawsuit that bears her name?