It's been a while since we talked about Ann Romney's Olympics (loser) horse Rafalca, but the noble beast has reentered the political conversation.

Long before the appalling national conversation about her hair, Olympic gold medalist Gabby Douglas faced racism and bullying from her fellow gymnasts in Virginia.

They call her the "Flying Squirrel," but if gold medalist Gabby Douglas wants to profit from the nickname, she's going to have to battle the college student who snatched up the trademark first.

While Ryan Lochte is getting smashed and letting Swedish long jumpers try on his diamond grille, some Olympic athletes were quietly planning how to slip away from the Olympic village and request political asylum in London.

Now that people can barely even remember anything that happened during the London Olympics, the world is ready to start getting excited about spending 2016 in Rio de Janeiro. Accordingly, the Brazilian Olympic Committee has just released the theme song for the Rio Games.

America's obnoxious but good-looking ex who it sometimes hooks up with when it gets drunk, Ryan Lochte, will guest star on an episode of 90210, America's obnoxious but good-looking show who it sometimes watches when it gets drunk, this October.

As the final Olympics medal count shows, America dominates at pretty much everything.

Kate Bush wasn't the only one snubbed by NBC's edit of last night's closing ceremony of the London Olympics. The Who's phenomenal medley of "Baba O'Riley," "See Me, Feel Me," "Listening to You" and "My Generation" was broadcast separate from the rest of the closing ceremony, so that NBC could insert preview of its Animal Practice in between. Cheap stuff, but hey, that's America. And that's not all: Muse's and Ray Davies' performances weren't aired at all. So we have those for you, too.

If bad newspaper columnist Frank Bruni ever decides to take his milquetoast musings to a new industry, he should consider becoming the guy who writes the little inspirational slogans that appear on marketing materials inside the Coca-Cola— Pavilion at the Olympic Games™. He's already had his tryout!

Every once in a while, Kate Bush makes an appearance in pop culture, mythical creature that she is. Tonight was not an example of one of those appearances. She did, though, needlessly rerecord her only song to go Top 40 in the U.S., "Running Up That Hill," and give it to the Olympics so people could do weird things with their bodies, recreate some of her interpretive dancing from the video and build a literal hill along to a song that's really about gender-fucking. Also, there are montages of athletes, some of them weeping in defeat. In other words, this was a solid Kate moment, despite her predictable absence. (I believe she literally lives in a castle on a hill.)

The don't manufacture pop like they used to. This is as good of a performance from the Spice Girls as we'd ever get. They are on point doing their pointing and gesticulating and shouting and provoking and riding on top of cars.

This performance of Russell Brand acting like Willy Wonka singing "I Am the Walrus" from the Olympic Closing Ceremony is a low point in pop culture. It's Snow White-at-the-Oscars bad. Shame.

"Does Every Olympic Athlete Get Rich Now?" E! Online asks.

Photographs leaked Friday of the Spice Girls rehearsing for the Olympics, finally confirming rumors that the group will perform in London's closing salute to the Illuminati.

Team USA swimmer and "water sports" enthusiast Ryan Lochte earned a golden medal in honesty when he recently confessed to peeing in the Olympic pools on occasion.

Remember how BP's relentless pursuit of profits at the expense of safety caused the Gulf of Mexico to be flooded with oil a little while ago? No. I don't remember that. Do you? Hmm. What I do remember is BP's absolutely awesome Olympic spirit!

Gymnast McKayla Maroney, "mean girl" of Team USA (or not), may have had to "settle" for second place after she fell during Sunday's vault competition, but all the gold medals in the world couldn't possibly compete with the Internet's most prestigious award: Memehood.

The Wall Street Journal ran a piece Wednesday profiling the odd guild of house elves whose job it is to wipe up sweat left behind by athletes in court sports like badminton, volleyball, handball and basketball. They are known as "sweat moppers." Here's what they can teach us:

Guess who's going clubbing in London tonight? Aly Raisman and "the guy gymnasts"! At least, according to what appears to have been a direct message she mistakenly tweeted to her followers: "Okay I have no idea were going with the guy gymnasts to some club I'll find out for you were so nervous. Omg"

Synchronized Swimming! Or "Two identical hotties in tight wolf bathing suits choking each other until they spit."