High Times' annual Stony Awards might not carry the same patina of prestige of some of the better known industry accolades, but it is the only Hollywood trophy ceremony to recognize excellence in the chemically-induced- paranoia-and-munchies screen arts, thus making its nominations announcement a noteworthy event. Among the many deserving performances singled out for achievement in stoner "acting" this year was Luke Wilson's tour-de-force turn in The Family Stone, for which he was required to get baked enough to convincingly find Sarah Jessica Parker hot. Other nominees included:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often! Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you spotted local tree-squatter Daryl Hannah roasting cosmic marshmallows by a Burning Man campfire.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Kiefer Sutherland lingering for an uncomfortably long time in the deli meats section of your local market.

ABCNews.com delivers on the serious, journalistic excellence their name implies with a fascinating slideshow, entitled "Bloated Stars: Vince, Luke & Leo." The gallery provides an array of pre- and post-bloat portraiture of some of Hollywood's biggest male stars (with a couple lower-rung Baldwins thrown in for filler). And while we're almost certain there's an undiscovered scientific principal to be deduced here directly relating the size of an actor's head to his asking price, we're too convinced that Stephen Baldwin's creepy "after" picture just gave us the born-again evil-eye to really do anything beyond shiver under our desks at the moment.

Today's Page Six reveals yet another Hollywood-Conde Nast nexus, and this time it's one Graydon Carter can't milk for a finder's fee:

Before we move on to today's news (and before the Reaper harvests another fresh soul of minor fame to complete his greedy Celebrity Rule of Three), we note the recent passing of actor Patrick Cranshaw, best known to a generation of frat boys as Blue (as in: "You're my boy, Blue!), Old School's lovable octogenarian pledge. Cranshaw was 86, sending us groping for a lesson besides the standby Hollywood admonition to "die young and leave a pretty corpse." This is all we've got: If you're Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson's KY-wrestling tag-team partner at the Playboy Mansion, you become immortal; grapple slathered in that same lubricant in a Luke Wilson movie, and your days on this earth are numbered.

Page Six has an eyewitness account of the recent blitzkrieg of downtown Manhattan by Luke "Fat Man" Wilson and Johnny "Little Boy" Knoxville, both fittingly bombed out of their gourds:

• Is Paris Hilton banned from LA nightclub LAX for talking smack about her former BFF Nicole Richie? If so, it suggests that there might be some sort of karmic balance to that otherwise moira-less world. [Scoop]
• For reasons involving some sort of warped explanation about puzzles and pieces, Kathy Griffin is canned from E!, leaving you no choice but to actually watch the TV Guide network for your red carpet coverage. [Page Six]
• Say what you will about PR madam Lizzie Grubman, but she picked up and drove her entire staff to work yesterday and didn't run a single one of them over. See? Reform is possible. [Lowdown]
• Professional binge-drinkers Johnny Knoxville and Luke Wilson break tables at the Hog Pit, stumble and slur their way around Soho. Celebrities — they're just like us! [Page Six]
• Now that suspected sexual assaulter Peter Braunstein has been apprehended, the lovely ladies at Fairchild have taken their shoes out of the safe and are throwing staff parties. [Gatecrasher]

Now that Wedding Crashers has hit theaters, we expected a precipitous decline in Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson coverage, but much to our delight, StallionMania™ gallops triumphantly on. A reader submitted this photo from last month's Maui Film Festival, where the Brothers Wilson (even the lesser-known Andrew) were honored with a "Shooting Star Award" for their familial success. Owen didn't appreciate being observed at play, approaching the amateur photographer "with his mallet at the ready and a scowl on his face...displaying none of that trademark Zen or 'aw shucksiness'" we've all come to know and cherish. We don't know how many times we have to say this, but don't taunt the Stallion in the wild—he'll buck you right off.

· Ex-Variety editor Ramin Zahid says he was fired by Editor-in-Chief Peter Bart because he was gay. [Page Six]
· Angie Everhart is actually 33 and not 28, as previously reported. [Page Six]
· Tommy Mottola spotted dining with Harvey Weinstein at the Four Seasons, possibly hinting at a future collaboration. [Page Six]
· Britney Spears on why she walked out of a Sundance screening 45 minutes into the movie, raising Robert Redford's ire: "The official line is we had our schedules mixed up, so we had to leave, but I didn't like the movie...Sundance is weird. The movies are weirdyou actually have to think about them when you watch them." [Page Six]
· Arista Records honcho L.A. Reid is at war with American Idol producer Simon Fuller over Annie Lennox, who Fuller manages. Insiders say Fuller is a formidable match for Reid. [Page Six]
· Oasis singer Noel Gallagher on Christina Aguilera: "She looks like some fucking tart from fucking Newcastle." On the Beatles: "I've said it to them, you were so fucking lucky you were first because if Oasis performed in 1962...I'd be bigger than all of you." [Page Six]
· Mimi Hare and Clare Naylor's book, The Second Assistant, a roman-a-clef about being an assistant in Hollywood was expected to find a publisher by last night; Liz Hurley's new squeeze, Arun Nayar, is still married; and Luke Wilson doesn't want to talk to reporters because "I just want to be abstract." [NY Daily News]