In this Japanese commercial for McDonald's three children are absolutely thrilled beyond their wildest dreams that they just received SpongeBob SquarePants toys in their Happy Meals.

McDonald's (formerly "The United States Department of Health") has plans for Japan. Big plans. Idaho big. With a hash brown on top.

McDonald's restaurants in New Zealand with free WiFi apparently block gay-themed sites like the slightly racy gaynz.com or the tame and cheery rainbowyouth.org.nz, sparking outcry in the Kiwi gay community. We're just upset that New Zealand's websites are so crappy-looking.

McDonald's is "running ads to remind customers that it still sells Big Macs and Quarter Pounders." In case you forgot.

Well, one thing is for certain: in the American Food Culture War, Michelle Obama's side isn't the only one indoctrinating kids young.

A mother in Sacramento is suing McDonald's for enticing kids with Happy Meals. She claims giving fun toys with meals is "deceptive to children," since they aren't smart enough to realize Happy Meals are little boxes of death.

McDonald's is planning a huge expansion in China. Soon their kids will be just like ours!

McDonald's just introduced a brand new line of New York-themed sandwiches at their locations throughout the Czech Republic.

McDonald's U.S. Happy Meal sales are greater than total sales at IHOP or Dairy Queen.

Finally, somebody on the other side of the intercom decided to spice it up. A McDonald's employee in La Jolla, California took it upon himself to be super friendly and entertaining for a couple of guys ordering Chicken McNuggets.

[This kid in San Francisco exercises caution while opening his Happy Meal yesterday after the city passed a ban on McDonald's putting toys inside the kids' meal boxes. Image via Getty]

Just when you think we're headed in the Right direction, here comes godless CommieQueer San Francisco to muck it all up. Their proposed ban of McDonald's Happy Meal toys has passed. What's next, banning children's handguns?? Goose step away, 'Frisco.

One imagines that former president Bill Clinton wasn't too excited about Tuesday's election results. But there are two things coming soon that he is excited for: Rapper Lil' Wayne's release from prison, and the return of the McDonald's McRib sandwich.

The month-long McDonald's McRib Resurrection starts tomorrow. You slobbering beasts.

Employees at an Ohio McDonald's franchise received a nice letter along with their paychecks the other week, just reminding them that elections are coming. And, oh, that if they want to keep getting raises and benefits, they should vote Republican.

A judge in Brazil has ruled that McDonald's must pay a man $17,500 because the man gained 65 pounds in a dozen years of employment at McDonald's. He felt "forced to sample the food each day," for quality. [AP]

Three black men are suing a Manhattan McDonald's, saying it allowed nonpaying white customers to use the restroom but denied them the same access. The New York Post's famously incisive commenters have many nuanced thoughts on this sensitive issue. [NYP]

The Way We Live Now: saving for McNuggets. Though prices may be higher, no price is too high. Not for a bite-size taste of that savory golden flesh, made of stockpiled gold, killed quickly, with no thought to looming disaster.

McDonald's locations in Hong Kong are now promoting in-house wedding ceremonies. Ronald McDonald can officiate, there's a special menu for guests, and even wedding cakes made out of either hamburgers or apple pies. That sounds friggin' delicious, no? [Photo via]

Sally Davies bought a burger and fries from McDonalds six months ago, which to this day show no signs of decay. Watch as the noted vegetarian shares her findings with GMA, thus rendering McDonalds inedible. Well, not really.