Look to your left; look to your right. One of the mild-mannered, college-educated people sitting next to you could be harboring a secret McRib Sandwich fetish. Generic machine-shaped pork product addicts are, reportedly, everywhere.

The commie food police in San Francisco have officially crossed the line: A proposed city ordinance would ban toys from McDonald's Happy Meals until the chain adds fruit and vegetables to their kids' menu, and lowers calorie counts. Hippie extortionists.

As if working for McDonald's didn't suck enough aready: The company may drop health insurance for 30,000 hourly employees.

You can't have a hamburger without a side of fries. Heck, French fries are sometimes a meal unto themselves, but either way there's no getting around the fact that they're unhealthy. Here's a ranking of the worst offenders in America.

A crazy new commercial from the nonprofit vegan group Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine features a dead man in a morgue holding a hamburger, and implies that McDonald's was to blame.

Everyone thinks that fast food joints and chain restaurants in New York must be disgusting while five-star eateries are as spotless as their white tablecloths. New York City's Department of Healthy has found the exact opposite to be true.

America's Cafeteria, McDonald's, is making obscene amounts of money selling its McCafé coffee simulacrum, and has plans to make even more obscene amounts on its new beverages. But first McDonald's must demystify this odd product, the "smoothie."

Yesterday we heard about a supposed McDonald's fast food heir who was viciously beaten and robbed in France. But today there are reports that Geoffrey McDonald may not actually be one of those McDonalds.

A pack of robbers armed with baseball bats beat and robbed 60-year-old Geoffrey McDonald (of the McFlurry McDonalds) and his wife in their villa in the south of France. Why did they have a villa there?

McDonald's saw you, the consumer, purchasing coffee at Starbucks. Therefore , McDonald's introduced its own coffee-like beverages to lure you, the consumer, back into McDonalds. It's all part of a grand plan: McDonald's will soon be the only beverage purveyor left.

California's Santa Clara County passed a law banning toys in food promotions, like those in McDonald's Happy Meals and will sue if the company doesn't comply. McD's says parents should swap fries for apple slices—with caramel dipping sauce.

Remember that gay French (is that redundant?) McDonald's ad that was cute, if not kinda sad (kid's closeted, after all)? Well an American McDonald's exec is now saying that kind of ad will never run in the States.

Are you an up-and-coming young musician looking to "make it" in the shoddy remains of the "music industry?" Well I hope you rap very much about McDonald's, Pepsi, and/ or Coca-Cola, the only remaining entities who can "discover artists."

McCafé, Mcdonald's superfluously-accented coffee-like beveragé, is a hugé success! Its popularity of McD's Frappés is lifting the entire company, and putting Starbucks in further peril. Congratulations on your poor tasté, America. [WSJ]

McDonald's is recalling 12 million cadmium-laced Shrek drinking glasses, but is still selling toxic food.

Today we looked at how Bill O'Reilly is a tremendous fucking asshole, equating gay folks with terrorists when looking at that gay McDonald's ad. But one commenter pointed out what we all seemed to forget: We're talking about McDonald's.

When discussing a gay-themed McDonald's ad on his show last night, Bill O'Reilly likened gay men to Al-Qaeda. There are no ways left to say that the Fox News' host is ignorant, but we're going to try anyway.

Introducing McDonald's New York Special, a new sandwich being marketed in the UK. It has smoked cheese, bacon, onion mayonnaise, and onions. This is not New York. It doesn't come with a $12 cup of coffee, does it? [via]

You might as well throw that Wendy's salad away and go for what you're really craving. Consumerist has a list of 10 fast food items that have higher calorie and fat counts than KFC's new artery-busting sandwich. Three are "salads."

The final ignominy has befallen the plucky/wildly over-leveraged island nation. Pizza Hut have announced that they're closing two of their three Reykjavik restaurants. McDonald's closed theirs earlier this year. Both companies blamed the collapse of the Icelandic economy.