The good news this morning is that Goldman Sachs has generously deigned to remain in lower Manhattan. And it only took a bit of nudging to get the elite investment bank to stay. As the Times reports:
• If you're not riding buzztrain for NYC band Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, you're either respectably contrarian or, more likely, just not a blogger. See what everyone's wetting themselves about tonight at the South Street Seaport, where the band opens for the electrogypsy group DeVotchKa. The event's free, and just steps away from eligible i-bankers. [flavorpill]
• If you're digging the free events but not the hipster vibe, check out the Kid-n-Play classic House Party, showing at Socrates Sculpture Park. That is, if you're willing to haul ass out Queens just to save a buck or two. [TONY]
• Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you could just shell out $55 to see Devo awkwardly rock Hammerstein Ballroom. $70, actually, with Ticketmaster fun fees. [OhMyRockness]
• Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room screens at Makor tonight, followed by a discussion with one of the film's producers and one its writers. The first 30 attendees receive a signed Kenneth Lay mugshot. [92Y]
• Bill Maher signs copies of his new book, New Rules: Polite Musings of a Timid Observer, at the Union Square Barnes and Noble at 7:00pm. His inflated ego signs at 7:30.
• French avant-gardite Colleen plays whatever French avant-garde sounds like at Joe's Pub tonight. Neutral Milk Hotel alum Jeremy Barnes opens with ethno-folk ensemble A Hawk and a Hacksaw playing whatever ethno-folk sounds like. [flavorpill]
Sightings are sent in by our sweaty-yet-attractive readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
Last August the Republicans invaded. This August, the invaders are even worse.
• Why the Starbucks on Allen and Delancey matters, and a handy map of other coffee alternatives. Unfortunately, none of them serve Frappucinos. Damned if you, damned if you don't. [Alternet]
• We thought that new Radar cover looked familiar. In a Saint Sebastian sort of way. [Esquire]
• An invaluable lesson in the pronounciation of Zagat's. [Eater]
• If you love us, you'll buy us an airbrushed Anderson Cooper t-shirt. [Encyclopedia Hanasiana]
• Has the Sunday Times become the "thinking man's Stuff?" [Verbose Coma]
• Surprisingly enough, the New York Regrettable Film Festival does not actually exist. [Banterist]
• "Watching Tucker Carlson's new promos for his time slot change is a little like watching Katie Holmes conduct an interview: You sit there feeling embarrassed for him." [Jossip]
• We love it when Flavorpill only has one listing for a given day — certainly makes it easier for us to pick the best one. Tonight, the 'pill points you to two music documentaries, Don't Look Back and The Last Waltz, both of which screen at the Center for Jewish History. Might as well go, 'cause it's not like you have any other choices. [flavorpill]
• Okay, we lied. You have other choices, they're just not ridiculously great. So get your fill of old-school laughs at Bryant Park, where "The Odd Couple" shows for free. You certainly weren't going to pay to go. [Bryant Park]
• If you're looking for something more interactive, Handshake hosts the first ever Grab-Ass Convention at Rothko tonight. We're not quite sure what this is or why you should care, but it does sound somewhat enjoyable. [Upcoming]
It seems that the reach of literary wunderjew Jonathan Safran Foer only goes so far:
Friday:
• The Found Footage Festival, which features 90 minutes of video entertainment culled from discarded VHS footage, comes to the Automotive High School in Williamsburg tonight. Among the highlights are a long-lost Wendy's training video and "Carnival in Rio" — a Brazilian Travel Board production staring Arnold Schwarzeneggar and two Brazilian escorts. Californians everywhere kick themselves a little harder. [flavorpill]
• Minnesota outfit The Hold Steady play the first of two shows at Bowery Ballroom. Tonight's is sold out; tomorrow's is not. Even you can do the math on this one. [BB]
Saturday:
• Continuing with their quest to perform as every possible permutation under every possible moniker not called "Scissor Sisters," Paddy Boom, aka Patrick Seacor, aka SS drummer, DJs tonight at the latest GBH bash at Movida. [Movida]
• 1991 Sundance Grand Jury Prize winner Paris is Burning is an intriguing look into the Harlem drag balls of the 1980s. In a strike of staggering clairvoyance, it's also the title of an upcoming Simple Life episode, in which the plucky hotel heiress visits her Beverly Hills gynecologist (ba-dum-dum). 6:30 at the Walter Reade Theater. [flavorpill]
Sunday:
• M.I.A., Diplo, and DJ Rekha bring some Southeast Asian flair to Central Park Summerstage for a free show at 3pm. Unsure how to characterize the multicultural billing, Flavorpill editors go with the layup: "Shanty Pop." Classy. [Summerstage]
Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
Next stop, Gentrification Station!
It's official, the end of an era, the beginning of the end, whatever what have you: Starbucks has slinked down to 10002, aka Gawker HQ. Hoping (and admittedly fearing) that it was all a hoax or, perhaps, an elaborate set for a Lindsay Lohan video, we ventured into broad daylight for some reportage. According to the charming workmen inside, the northeast corner of Allen and Delancey is now home to an honest-to-God Starbucks, and we can expect the apocalypse to open its doors in about four weeks.
It's been a bad summer to be a kid in the New York area, as the Times points out today. So far:
The News introduces us today to a frightening band of alcoholics who find it charming to dress up as pirates and visit New York's bars:
• Jake Bronstein, the jackanapes known for making a mold of his penis and bathing in Bryant Park, wants to marry you. He's sadly serious, too — go on, you know you've always wanted to marry someone from Road Rules. [TMI]
• After 52 years, Variety gossip Army Archerd calls it a day and ends his column. [Reuters]
• Shape editor Anne Russell abruptly resigns (which is code for "gets canned" according to WWD), thus creating yet another mini-crisis around the AMI offices. They just can't seem to get enough of those. [Mediaweek]
• Our sincere condolences to the Times' Lola Oguinnake, who was forced to touch Janice Dickinson's lifelike breasts. [NYT]
• The art of reporting celebrity pregnancies. [Radar]
• Hipsters, unplug your kitsch-fabulous Christmas lights and cancel band practice: The LES is being asked to conserve energy. [Gothamist]
• The second installment of art exhibit "Drunk vs Stoned" opens today at Gavin Brown's Enterprise, featuring pieces that explore the relative merits of both altered states of mind. Can't make it? It runs till September 7th, culminating in a "Drunk vs Stoned" soccer match. We're pretty sure performance-enhancing substances will be permitted. [flavorpill]
• Dave Eggers and his band of swashbuckling crusaders appear at Housing Works Cafe tonight to speak about their new book Teachers Have it Easy, which discusses how America's teachers are underpaid and underappreciated. True, but at least the pervy ones are getting laid. [Housing Works]
• Punk pioneer priestess Patti Smith performs at Central Park SummerStage tonight. On an unrelated note, it's alliteration day here at Gawker Media. [Summerstage]
In this edition: Phil Spector, Liza Minelli, Joan Rivers, Cynthia Nixon and partner, Tina Brown, Mary-Kate Olsen, Johnny Knoxville, Jeff Goldblum, Paul Giamatti, Rosario Dawson, Destiny's Child, Adrian Grenier, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Peet, Kerry Washington, Nick Lachey, Rob Schneider, Michael Pitt, David Cross, Rick and Kathy Hilton, Vivica Fox, Malcolm Gladwell, Ja Rule, Adam Yauch, Yoko Ono, David Blaine, Rachel Hunter and Janice Dickenson.
It's never too hot for terror! A reader writes:
