Tonight, NBC premiered The Sing-off—a four-day a cappella group competition that was marketed as a cross between American Idol and Glee—and it was amazing, for all the wrong reasons. Here are the six things I learned while watching.

Today at Gawker.TV, we inspect Michael Bay's 360-degree "hero shot," the remaining members of The Jackson Five do reality TV, Million Dollar Listing finale, Gilly gets her own SNL Christmas special, and we take a look at the frequent-flyer obsessed.

If you're planning on making a Michael Bay Film, please be sure to include the following: explosions, even more explosions, and the "360 Hero" shot.

Boobs! Cars! Explosions! Knife play! Freed from the shackles of overbearing mass-market necessities like "plot," Bay indulges the very poetry of his soul in this ad for expensive panties. Watch it, then read an exclusive transcript of his internal monologue.

• Even President Obama has acknowledged (unofficially) that Kanye West's microphone-snatching episode at the VMAs made Kanye a "jackass." Lucky for Jay Leno—and his ratings—Kanye apologized (again) on the comedian's primetime debut last night. "It was rude, period... I'm just ashamed that my hurt caused someone else's hurt," West said. [NYDN, People, Us]
• Topper Mortimer is hooking up with Vogue editor Valerie Boster. (It's about time the dude moved on.) Meanwhile, his ex, Tinsley, is having issues with her new reality show. Producers are trying to drum up other socialites to make appearances since she's not "dynamic enough on her own." [P6]
• Jeremy Piven won't be hugging it out with the Public Theater any time soon. His lawyers have served the venue with a cease and desist over its play, "The Piven Monologues," which details his fishy bailout from "Speed the Plow." [P6]
• Patrick Swayze has died after a 20-month battle with pancreatic cancer. Stars have been paying tribute to the Dirty Dancing star via Twitter, and the old-fashioned way, in released statements. [NYDN, People, Us, Star]

Megan Fox was being cute by calling Michael Bay a "Nazi" regarding the Transformers 2 shoot. Some Michael Bay crew members wrote a letter about Awful Megan Fox on Michael Bay's site, which has since been censored. Just awesome.

After the orgy end, the hard work begins. There are vomitoriums to be scrubbed and receipts for Transformers 2 to be counted. The summer belonged to Michael Bay and Megan Fox, but this week belongs to the accountants.

The Krupp's Bagger 228 is more than meets the eye. It is the world's largest digging machine, and it moves! If Michael Bay hasn't already ordered it up for the screenplay, he's not doing his job.

Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.

Robert Pattinson thinks New York women are crazy, Lady Gaga gets naked in London club, Michael Bay puts Megan Fox in the corner, Josh Duhamel is an ass man, Russell Crowe throws another public hissy-fit and Rihanna's boob falls out.

Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, and Gary Coleman are all having relationship issues. Megan Fox: macking on Zac Efron and smack-talking Michael Bay. Liza's mob problems, Twilight's freak fanbase, and celebrity cocaine usage! Presenting your pre-Holiday Friday Gossip Roundup:

Hey, look! Being a Gawker Intern pays off. One of our most famous non-paid workers, James Frey, is shopping a young adult series that just got preemptively optioned by DreamWorks. Estimates say the deal was in the high six figures.

Sure to be the loudest of all the loud summer films (until G.I. Joe), Michael Bay's Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is about to drop. And it seems that in one scene, there's a little surprise. Well, two surprises.

Paris Hilton turns 28 today. Basketball legend Michael Jordan turns 46. Rene Russo is 55. Denise Richards is turning 38. Director Michael Bay is 44. Jerry O'Connell is celebrating his 35th. Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong is 37. Record exec Jason Flom is turning 48. Literary agent Susan Golomb is 49. And Daniel Lawrence Whitney, better known as "Larry the Cable Guy," is 46.

Unwilling to let Roland Emmerich corner the DGA market on topless pool parties, Criterion-approved auteur Michael Bay is opening his Miami mansion up to guests—and all you need is $250!

Before he works his way up to the Hitchcockian classics, Michael Bay is determined to tackle some more lowbrow cinematic remakes, and so it is that we have this newly released full trailer for the upcoming Platinum Dunes re-do of Friday the 13th. Directed by Marcus Nispel, who also helmed the Bay-produced remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and apparently hasn't exhausted his "attractively lit stabbing" jollies yet), it's the tale of a murderous hockey player who suffers a six-game suspension for slandering Elisha Cuthbert, which leaves him plenty of time to slice and dice teenagers up at Camp Crystal Lake. And, in a loving homage to the original film's trailer, Nispel has made sure that every single "kill" is teased and tabulated on-screen. The clip, after the jump:

Click to viewBoomp3.com Partially inspired by a recent late night viewing of the 1983 comedy Doctor Detroit and a string of doctor visits, hunky & quirky action hero Shia LaBeouf has started to practice medicine. While the Transformers star hasn’t visited a medical school, LaBeouf believes that he’s done enough research to perform simple house calls. LaBeouf said, “I’m not diagnosing major diseases, but if you got the sniffles or a headache, I’m the dude to call. My bubby has the best chicken soup recipe in the world. It’ll cure whatever ails you.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

It's hard to believe that Michael Bay has been shooting Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for almost four months now, but rest assured it wasn't painstaking months of character research that has slowed production to its current pace. After all, as we discovered over the summer via the film's banished extra "Man Eating Hamburger" (aka Reginald Brown), Bay has little to no knowledge of his subject and even less interest in lessons from an extra. But that doesn't mean Brown has given up trying to "learn Michael some Transformers"; in fact, reports on producer Don Murphy's illustriously deranged message board suggest that the film's climactic desert showdown may not involve Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox or giant robots at all, but rather a stunning Brown vs. Bay main event that will make Uwe Boll seethe with jealousy:

Though the upcoming Diablo Cody thriller Jennifer's Body may cover up more of actress Megan Fox than people were expecting, at least Fox makes up for it by exposing herself in the latest edition of GQ. Few subjects are left untouched in the wide-ranging interview, whether it's her boyfriend's penis ("Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me"), Disney ("Fuck Disney"), or her Transformers director (when asked if the Transformers sequel will give the actress more to do, Fox flatly responds, "Transformers 2 is directed by Michael Bay"). Still, most tongues will wag when Fox recalls the female stripper she fell in love with at LA's full-frontal emporium The Body Shop when she was just 18:

Bogus: According to TMZ, shoegazing director Michael Bay was the victim of a home burglary last night in New Mexico, where he's staying while filming Transformers 2: Rise of the Finger-Splinticons. No criminals have been apprehended (we're looking at you, Scarlett Johansson clone!), but at least the story provides us with a terrific excuse to run this photo of Bay at a Playboy party two years ago. Check out that rack! [TMZ]