The greatest threat to the environment, according to extensive reporting by the Associated Press? The mayor, that's who:

It looks like the campaign for mayor will be a bit more competitive this fall: "A Times Square fixture is throwing his cowboy hat into the political ring, leaving him with even fewer articles of clothing. Robert Burck, better known as The Naked Cowboy, says he's running for mayor.The 38-year-old performance artist says he will run a transparent campaign." [NY1, Reuters, People]

Mayor Bloomberg has spent $37 million on his mayoral campaign so far. Where's it all gone? In addition to the $20 million that's gone to the firm that produces Bloomberg's TV ads and the $1 million or so that's has gone to pay his campaign staff, campaign finance records released today also list office snacks ($72,000) and pizza ($7,000), which, the Times's City Room blog reports, is usually ordered from Goodfella's Brick Oven Pizza on Staten Island. Why the mayor's staff needs to order pizza from another borough isn't explained—maybe his campaign volunteers like their pizza cold?—but the mayor's pizza tab isn't the only curious item on the list of expenses. (Not that it really matters: It's the mayor's own money that is being spent, so if he wants to order his pizza from Naples and have it delivered to NYC via Air Bloomberg, that's up to him.) But the $50,000 that Team Bloomberg has spent on phone expenses? It's a little early to be planning for Hanukkah, yes, but finding gifts for billionaires who have everything is a huge pain, less us tell you. So we're making it public here and now. Mayor Bloomberg's very first MagicJack is on us. So step off. [NYT]

• The fashion publicist/socialite who moonlighted as a computer hacker? This is going to make for a fabulous movie. It seems Ali Wise (right), the Dolce & Gabanna public relations director, professional socializer, and ex-girlfriend of hotelier Jason Pomeranc was arrested this week for using her computer to wiretap and eavesdrop on interior designer/social butterfly Nina Freudenberger (left). The worst part? Wise was held overnight in an jail cell and wasn't given any special treatment, poor thing. [NYDN, P6]
• Wise wasn't the only nightlife fixture behind bars this week. Wass Stevens, NYC's most famous club doorman, was arrested for whacking a man with the metal end of a velvet rope outside Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss's Avenue the other night. Stevens says the man acted up when he was refused entry, which sounds a pretty likely scenario. [P6]

51% of New Yorkers polled would like a new mayor, and 73% of New Yorkers polled think Mike Bloomberg will be reelected. [Marist via Voice]

Remember back in February when Mayor Bloomberg announced a program to "retrain" laid-off Wall Streeters for careers in other professions? No word yet on how former Bear Stearns brokers and Lehman mortgage traders have adjusted to their new careers as "repossession collection specialists"—a booming profession, we should point out—but the early signs must be encouraging, since Bloomberg now says he plans to do the same thing with unemployed media professionals, too:

If you're currently job hunting and you figured that if all else fails you could always end up working for the city, you may need to come up with a new backup plan. The stalemate in Albany has led Mayor Bloomberg to resort to "drastic measures" and impose a city-wide hiring freeze. The move has already led to the postponement of tomorrow's graduation of 250 NYPD recruits, and a long list of other hires will now be put off, including the recruitment of 150 firefighters and 34 emergency 911 operators. It also means 151 traffic agents won't get hired anytime soon, although we're guessing car owners won't be complaining very much about that. [WCBS]

Mayor Bloomberg's new campaign commercial features him chatting up a bunch of cops next to a squad car. The problem? The uniforms and police car identify them as officers from the 27th Precinct, which doesn't exist in real life, but happens to be the fictional precinct depicted on Law & Order. Naturally, Bloomberg's primary challenger, Bill Thompson, is using the incident to score political points. Per a spokesman: "The make-believe police precinct in Bloomberg's ad fits perfectly with his five-borough plan and policies... All fantasies." Of course, Thompson is still clinging to the fantasy he actually has a shot at unseating Bloomberg, so it looks like everyone concerned is living in a fantasyland of some sort. [NYDN]

We've seen Michael Bloomberg display his temper on numerous occasions over the past few months. Today he showed off his softer side when he turned "misty-eyed" at a naturalization ceremony: "After citing immigrants' contributions to American society and their appreciation of American freedom, the mayor concluded by saying, 'Whether you were born, seriously, in Palermo or Pakistan, Korea or Killarney, today you are Americans.' The last words of the sentence seemed to catch in Mr. Bloomberg's throat. His eyes moist, he quickly wrapped up his remarks, saying: 'Nothing anybody else can say. God bless.'"

Mayor Bloomberg has come up with a great way to break the stalemate in Albany. He (jokingly?) suggested this morning that senators' personal phone numbers and addresses be made public so residents of New York can call them up three o'clock in the morning and give them a piece of their minds. Cute, but just wait until someone actually takes Bloomberg's advice to heart and wakes up Sen. Kevin Parker in the middle of the night. This could really get ugly. [NYDN]

Did you picture Mayor Bloomberg as a Michael Jackson fan? It turns out he is. "I will always be listening to his music," he said before taking a dip in a public pool, which he does every year to kick off the Parks Department's swim season. "In the car on the way uptown I was listening to the music of Michael Jackson," he said. He didn't list off his favorite songs, alas. But we sure would love to see a reporter summon up the nerve to test him out at an upcoming press conference. The ball is in Azi Paybarah's court. [NYP]

• Is Amy Sacco's Bungalow 8 about to broke? That's what some former staffers claim, who say they haven't been paid in weeks now. [Gawker]
• Ward III, a new "saloon" by the team involved with Macao, The Odeon, and Grace—and decorated with Wakiya cast-offs—opens on Friday. [Thrillist]
• A roundup of spots that have closed in recent days. [Eater]
• The feud between Mr. Chow and Philippe is heating up, it seems. [GS]
• Raines Law Room has opened a "clandestine garden," not that anything can be very clandestine when it appears on Vogue's website. [Vogue]
• Michael Huynh has another East Village Baoguette planned. [EVGrieve]
• Wolfgang Puck's latest, quasi-food related venture: He plans to take control of the top-level domain .food and then sell off the Internet addresses to chefs and restaurateurs. Sounds, uh, interesting. [WSJ/Speakeasy]

How much does Mike Bloomberg pay his dog walker? This is the pertinent piece of information missing from today's Daily News profile of Eloise Cucui, the Hunter high school senior who walks Mayor Bloomberg's two golden Labrador retrievers, Bonnie and Clyde. (The News may also oversell her position a smidge, too, calling hers "one of the city's most important jobs.")

It may seem as if Michael Bloomberg has it all. But money doesn't buy you everything, you know. All the riches in the world can't turn a nebbishy guy from Medford, Massachusetts into Tiger Woods, and so despite all the effort the mayor has put into improving his golf game since taking up the sport in 2000, he hasn't been able to improve all that much. But it's not like he doesn't want to. He's "obsessed" with the game, according to Christine Quinn. And it's not as if he isn't trying. He is. He really is.

Michael Bloomberg looks pretty good for his age. But he could always look better! Thanks to the magical powers of New Beauty magazine's highly addictive Instant Makeover Tool—do not visit the site unless you're prepared to fritter away half your afternoon—we subjected the mayor to an eyebrow lift, eyelid fold, blepharoplasty, rhinoplasty, lip augmentation and jaw contouring, and then used some injectibles for treat those depressing nasolabial folds and frown lines of his. He turned out quite nicely, don't you think? You can review larger before-and-after photos here, if you'd like to inspect our work more closely. Now all Bloomberg needs to do is make an appointment with the plastic surgeon of his choice and we can all look forward to a much more fresh-faced mayor on the campaign trail this fall.

What would you do if your dad handed you a check for $5 million and told you to give it away to the charities of your choosing? (You'd probably buy a massive apartment and inform your dad that by investing in the New York's real estate market during these difficult economic times, you were actually performing an act of charity, wouldn't you?)

New York turned out to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the historic Apollo Theater on Monday night. Prince, Mariah Carey, Steve Harvey, Bill Cosby, Fantasia Barrino, and Chanj all took turns on the stage; Jamie Foxx introduced Quincy Jones, who was inducted into the Apollo Legends Hall of Fame; and the crowd included Michael Bloomberg and Diana Taylor, New York First Lady Michelle Patterson, Patti LaBelle, Dick Parsons, Al Sharpton, Gayle King, Sherri Shepard, Phylicia Rashad, Clarissa and Edgar Bronfman Jr., Ruby Dee, Ron Perelman and daughter Samantha Perelman, Sade Baderinwa, Devyn Simone, Kevin Liles, Jonelle Procope, Susan Magrino, Robin Roberts, Doug E. Fresh, Bryant and Hilary Gumbel, Bethenny Frankel, Denise Rich, and designer (and secret soul music fan) Roberto Cavalli. [PMc, Wireimage, VF]

Gov. David Paterson has never generated positive poll numbers, but every time the numbers reach a new low, another month passes and they get even worse. According to a survey conducted by the New York Times, Cornell, and NY1—the same one that found that while people generally like Michael Bloomberg, a majority aren't interested in having him serve a third term—just 21 percent of New York voters say they have a favorable view of Paterson, compared to a 26 percent favorability rating for Eliot Spitzer, and seven in 10 respondents said Paterson did not deserve to be elected in 2010. There was one bright spot for the governor who has vowed to make gay marriage legal in New York: Forty-six percent say they favor same-sex marriages, up from 38 percent a year ago. [NYT, previously]

A poll conducted by NY1, the New York Times, and Cornell University finds that while 60 percent of New Yorkers approve of Mayor Bloomberg's job performance as mayor, 55 percent say they'd like "someone else" in City Hall next year. How confusing! Not that it should come as any surprise: Nearly 70 percent of the people surveyed couldn't say if Bloomberg "was a Democrat, Republican, independent or something else." [NY1, NYT]

Mayor Bloomberg raised a few eyebrows when he said earlier today that President Obama "does not get paid very much." City Room details just how much the president makes a year when you factor in some of the perks that come along with the job: "As president, Mr. Obama earns $400,000 a year. He has a $50,000 expense account, a $100,000 nontaxable travel account and a $19,000 entertainment budget. Mr. Obama's total compensation package: $569,000 a year. That is 11 times the median household income in the United States." Of course, it's also what Bloomberg probably collects in interest over the course of a couple of days so, you know, it's all relative. [NYT/City Room]