Yesterday, Mayor Bloomberg introduced fancy new "umbrellas" that will eventually take the place of ugly scaffolding covering New York sidewalks. (The city's 37,000 homeless people were reportedly looking forward to taking shelter under such aesthetically pleasing awnings.)

Republican New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg blamed the SEC for the nation's financial crisis yesterday, shortly after the Boston native was done pretending to care about the Jets.

The final tab is in for Mike Bloomberg's campaign for a third term as mayor. It cost him $108.3 million, or $185.10 for each of the 585,466 votes he received. That's a few million more than what Bloomberg had reported previously. And it's about $99 million more than what poor Bill Thompson spent to come within a mere five percentage points. [NYDN]

It's true: Harold Ford, Jr. is a joke. His New York Post editorial today more or less announcing his candidacy for Senate is terrible. His various friends and associates are a rogue's gallery of Gawker's most hated.

Emily Pataki had some trouble passing the bar exam a couple of years ago and she's been working as an unpaid intern at a law firm until recently, but that didn't stop the Bloomberg administration from handing the daughter of New York's former governor a job in his administration. So what's she going to be doing over there? According to the mayor's spokesman, she'll be working on "human trafficking issues." Reassuring! [NYP]

Though the plan has been scuttled, Mayor Bloomberg was apparently going to send some detectives from the NYPD Gang Unit down to his weekend home, to help the local police out. (BTW, his weekend home is his mansion in Bermuda.)

New York City may have the financial resources to loan out the NYPD to Bermuda. But protecting the city when 9/11 terror suspects arrive here from Guantanamo Bay for their trials? Not so much. The mayor says it will cost $216 million to pay for stepped-up security during the first year, and the city is going to need some serious help from Washington to pay for it. [AP]

Members of the NYPD's Gang Unit will be heading to Bermuda to help its police force solve several gang-related shootings that have "rocked the island" recently. Did the fact that Mayor Bloomberg happens to have a lovely weekend home in Bermuda (above) factor into the decision? It certainly seems that way. Bermuda's minister of public safety tells a local paper that Bloomberg contacted the Premier of Bermuda personally to offer up the NYPD's assistance: "He rang the Premier, as a resident of Bermuda and someone who has a keen interest in the safety of Bermuda. He is a friend. He said, 'We probably can help. Get your Commissioner to talk to the head of our Gang Unit.'" Too bad Bloomberg never picked up a castle in Darfur. All that genocide would have been over in no time! [Village Voice, Bermuda Sun]

The Wizard of NYoz emerged today to celebrate violating previous thresholds of American Plutocracy further than they've ever been sullied before. What'd he have to say? That he'd be modeling our city after—what else?—Bloomberg, Inc.

We can't imagine you were thinking about spending New Year's Eve in the middle of Times Square shivering with a million or so other people. But if you were contemplating the idea, you'll be pleased to hear that the NYPD is beefing up security for the big event and will have "radiation and biological detection devices" on hand, "decontamination facilities" at the ready, and sniper teams in position. (All you need to bring is a hat and a flask of whiskey hidden in your pants, and you'll be good to go!) Oh, and if you notice anything suspicious, don't hesitate to take Mayor Bloomberg's advice: "If you see anything, they'll be plenty of police officers to talk to. Walk up and say, 'Hey, I may be wrong, but that guy looks nefarious.'" (Just be prepared to explain to the cop what "nefarious" means, of course.) [Fox5]

Did you hear what Prince William did earlier this week? He threw on a hoodie and pretended he was homeless for a night, camping out under a bridge in London so he could see what "life on the streets" is really like:

The Billionaire Gentleman's Agreement that allowed Mayor Bloomberg to buy his third term? It is now concluded. Thanks for your help making it happen, everyone!

Mayor Bloomberg flew his gas-guzzling private jet over to Copenhagen yesterday for the UN climate change summit that's now underway. And it already looks like it was well worth the trek: Bloomberg has been inspired! In addition to announcing plans to revisit the concept of congestion pricing, an idea that failed miserably last year, Bloomberg is once again talking up the idea of setting up a giant windmill farm to generate clean energy. This time around, Bloomberg isn't thinking about planting the windmills in NYC. His new idea? Erect them off 15 miles offshore, so they'll be "barely visible from shore" and city residents won't be able whine about how their views have been ruined. All that's left to do is come up with a few billion bucks to pay for it all, and he'll be good to go. [NYDN, NYT]

WWD asked a bunch of fashion designers about the fabulous places they'll be heading to over the holidays, and what they're hoping Santa leaves them under the tree (or beside the Hanukkah menorah, as the case may be). Most of the gifts mentioned are predictably fancy and expensive. But not all! The only thing Nanette Lepore wants this holiday season is a 15-minute meeting with Michael Bloomberg. [WWD]

Angelina's secret second family: seven Muslim children, and a wife. Lady Gaga spawns jokes about old queens, Suri Cruise goes glam like never before, Tiger Woods' wife buys a mansion in Sweden. Tuesday gossip keeps coming back for more.

[The network trotted out big guns Rob Thomas, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Zach Levi, Jane Krakowski, Michael Buble, and another selection from Aretha Franklin's curious hat collection for the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting ceremony last night. Image via Getty]

Mike Bloomberg spent a fortune on his campaign for a third term and still only managed to prevail by less than five percentage points, so it's probably to be expected that the mayor's staff dropped this piece of news on the day after Thanksgiving. According to data released on Friday, Bloomberg spent a record $102 million on his reelection campaign (or $174 per vote), a figure that is expected to go up once the mayor hands out a big bunch of thank-you bonuses to senior members of his staff. [NYT, NYDN, NYP]

• Last night's state dinner drew quite a crowd. On hand of the occasion: Katie Couric (accompanied by beau Brooks Perlin), Gayle King (sans Oprah), Brian Williams, Mayor Bloomberg (with Diana Taylor), Ari Emanuel, M. Night Shyamalan, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and David Geffen (accompanied by his youthful boyfriend). Jennifer Hudson provided the entertainment; Naeem Khan was responsible for Michelle Obama's gold dress. [Politico, Reuters, NYP]
• She may not be in rehab (yet), but Lindsay Lohan is supposedly now in counseling and seeing someone a few times a week. It's a start, isn't it? [MSNBC]
• In what may be the most dubious story ever published by Us, a source tells the tabloid that Angelina Jolie "hates" President Obama because he's "all about welfare and handouts" and is really "a socialist in disguise." Naturally, the source goes on to say that Brad Pitt is still a fan of Obama, which means the two "get in nasty arguments" about politics "all the time." [Us]

• Dean Poll has a new name for Tavern on the Green if the city loses its legal battle with the LeRoy family: He'll rename it Tavern in the Park instead. [CNY]
• New: Pichet Ong's dessert place in the EV is open; Bobby Flay's second Bar Americain has debuted in Connecticut; and Death & Co. has a new menu.
• The East Side Social Club opens at Midtown's Pod Hotel next week. [GS]
• Michael Bloomberg celebrated his electoral win with a trip to Paris last weekend and a fancy meal at a fancy restaurant by the Seine. [NYT]
• LaGuardia airport hosted a pizza-eating contest today for some reason. [BB]
• The producers of Top Chef are at work on a new food show for NBC. The winner of the competition gets to open a restaurant chain. [THR]

When political insiders suggested yesterday that the mayor pay more attention to places outside of Manhattan's toniest precincts, they probably didn't have Russia or China in mind. But both those countries are expected to benefit from Mike Bloomberg's latest charitable donation, a $125 million gift designed to improve road conditions in 10 developing countries around the world. But he'll get to this next. Don't you worry. [WSJ]