Lindsay Lohan once recorded a song "from daughter to father" saying her deadbeat dad broke her heart. Four years later and with his daughter conveniently in jail, Michael's got a response: a horrifying cringeworthy muzak tribute to "daddy's little girl."

Paris Hilton denies getting paid $1 million to be a Malaysian playboy's personal Barbie doll. George Clooney's girlfriend is tied to an Italian cocaine scandal. An Inception star talks about gay trysts. Thursday gossip works hard for its money.

A source tells us that Michael Lohan—who's been accused of domestic assault by three ex-girlfriends—is attempting to sell nude photos of Kate Major, his ex-fiancee who accused Lohan earlier this week of attacking her and threatening her life.

Lindsay's family gets special permission to visit on a week day. A photograph of Mel Gibson's possibly abused baby surfaces. Britney Spears is possibly on Team Mel. Katy Perry floats in a cloud of cotton candy. Thursday gossip is tentative.

When Fox News' Shep Smith asked Michael Lohan why he didn't do more to help daughter Lindsay before she was given jail time, he exploded and dropped the F-bomb. The Lohans: keeping it classy since 2002. Click through for video.

Tonight on Larry King Live—the show of our generation and several previous ones—three people who have little or no contact with Lindsay Lohan (namely her father, Michael) discussed her 90-day jail sentence. Michael's reaction? "Satisfaction," baby! Video inside.

Jessica Simpson has a new boyfriend. Geri Haliwell has a bad boyfriend. Christiano Ronaldo has a mysterious baby-mama. Kate Hudson's boyfriend has a date with Goldie Hawn. George Clooney has a court date. Tuesday's gossip is all about meeting people.

In her moment of need, LiLo looked to her mother, and her mother called a camera crew. Mel Gibson's ex says he knocked her teeth out with his fist. Chris Brown cried in public. Don't call Monday gossip a comeback.

Every time Lindsay Lohan drinks, it costs $10,000. English muffins can trigger false positives on alcohol monitors. Probation is the most complicated thing in the world. These are the things I've learned from the daily travails of the Lohans.

Michael Lohan, a person talented and accomplished enough to have had a daughter who was famous for a while five years ago, is opening up a nightclub in the Hamptons called, pathetically, Controversy. Don't worry! They'll screen for drugs there.

Will Lindsay playing a porn star destroy her career (more?). Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz are no longer fighting, physically or emotionally. Mel Gibson may have had sex with a porn producer. Sunday's gossip roundup is strangely porn-y.

Three days ago, a widely-reported story emerged that Michael Lohan had posted to Twitter that Lindsay was HIV-positive. Michael said it was a hacker. Lindsay said it was her dad. Nobody realized that the hack itself was a fake.

She's divorcing Jesse and will raise the baby alone. Larry King is a swinger. Lindsay blames a tawdry lie on her dad, who blames Perez Hilton. Courtney Love says Gavin cheated on Gwen with her. Wednesday's gossip cometh.

Tonight, Michael Lohan and his lawyer came on The Joy Behar Show to discuss his daughter, Lindsay. As the interview wore on, Lohan's lawyer became more and more aggravated by Behar's questioning until she finally called out Behar. Video inside.

Cops visit Lindsay for two reasons in two days. Mariah Carey gains 57 lbs. Chace Crawford finds love in the time of volcanic eruption. Michelle Rodriguez's coming out party is saved. TGIFriday gossip roundup.

Michael Lohan says he took cops to Lindsay's house on Thursday to check on Ali. Dina Lohan says Michael didn't even recognize Ali. Lindsay Lohan says her father is "the devil's advocate," whatever that means. Who do we believe?

Gwyneth won't play Nicole's wife in a movie because Kidman dissed her. Lindsay Lohan is more than $500,000 in debt. Sandra Bullock is in trouble again. Jennifer Aniston is going to direct. Monday's gossip is a damsel in distress.

Ed Westwick dumps Jessica Szohr over a dramatic jetsetting affair. Lindsay Lohan's new stepmother used to be her assistant, and even Dina thinks it's "incestuous." Whitney Houston wasn't snorting coke, she has allergies. XOXO, Thursday Gossip Roundup.

Once upon a time, Kate Major was a celebrity journalist who "crossed the line" to bang Jon Gosselin. Now that she's engaged to Michael Lohan, we emailed to ask if she's repeating her "mistake." Her pissed-off email response below!

Without lip gloss, will we even recognize her? Tiger Woods consults Buddhist prayers on his Blackberry. Michael Lohan pops the question to Kate Major. Whoopi Goldberg is on Team Jesse James. Wednesday's gossip roundup has seen a ghost.