Lots of wacky things were said on stage at the Republican debate in Orlando this evening, but it was Rep. Michele Bachmann who earned herself the Complete Absence of Logic award when she advocated for a zero percent tax rate:
Rep. Michele Bachmann has had all sorts of fun adventures on the presidential campaign trail, whether it's by introducing herself to likely voter babies, playing with heavy machinery, or gazing down long rows of hanging animal carcasses. When will she finish losing this race already?
The Republican presidential candidates are debating tonight in Orlando, shining city of "corporate amusement parks"! Our hosts for the evening are Fox News and Google, who have planned all sorts of gimmicky social media bullshit to whiz by the candidates' faces throughout the evening. Which of these nine suckers will lose the most? Let us consider that, and other concerns.
The latest bizarre twist to the Michele Bachmann campaign, which has quickly devolved into the political equivalent of sticking a 7x7 blotter of bad acid directly to your eyeballs, involves recent claims she made linking HPV vaccines to mental retardation in young girls. Now Bachmann is backtracking, telling the AP — in a story titled, "Bachmann says vaccine retardation claim not hers" — that she was simply "relaying what a woman had said...I wasn't attesting to her accuracy. I wasn't attesting to anything."
You know how Jay Leno's lips are always firmly planted on his guest's behind, no matter who it is? How publicists enamored with Leno's softball predictability are always eager to book their clients on The Tonight Show? And how Leno rarely, if ever, challenges the answers a guest provides to the questions he asks? Well, that changed on Friday night. How so? Two words: Michele Bachmann.
Michele Bachmann pushed her criticism of Rick Perry's executive order mandating HPV vaccinations of young girls to the furthest frontiers of predictability today, by labeling it "Perrycare." There is just nothing worse in a Republican primary than having the word "care" applied to your last name. That's not a joke! It should be, though. Shouldn't it? Maybe one of these days.
Outrage at the University of Iowa Twitter Command Center! Because yesterday, after reports of mountain lion or cougar sightings near the Iowa City campus, the school's politics account tweeted, "I didn't know Bachmann was in town. Bah-dum-bum." Golly, what do those two things have to do with each other? According to the AP, "A cougar is a term used to refer to older women who seek out younger men." That simply cannot be true.
During Tuesday night's Republican presidential debate, Michele Bachmann attacked Texas Gov. Rick Perry for signing an executive order requiring teenage girls to be vaccinated against HPV, claiming the vaccine could cause mental retardation. Like most everything else she says, Bachmann was completely wrong. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart and Kristen Schaal hilariously took her to task for it.
Michele Bachmann finally found an attack line to wrest ultraconservative support from Rick Perry last night: That he mandated vaccinations against HPV for "innocent little girls," by executive order, to help his campaign contributors. Good for Michele!...??? But it's the anecdote about the vaccine leaving one girl mentally retarded that really makes this somethin' else.
Rep. Michele Bachmann was unusually silent and uncared-about during last night's debate, in the latest sign that Rick Perry has completely eaten her lunch and all that's left for her campaign is a tragicomic, Norma Desmond-esque flameout. What can she do? Perhaps call a news conference to rebut Obama's speech tonight! Someone's got to do it. (Not really.)
In the hot seat on Sunday, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) was asked by Face the Nation host Bob Schieffer, "Do you believe that God does use the weather to send people messages here on Earth?"
One of President Michele Bachmann's plans for beefing up American energy independence would be to drill the Everglades. Again, that's "drill the Everglades," as a supposed means of extracting mass quantities of fossil fuels. This idea may be just terrible enough to disgust some of her fellow Tea Partiers.
Some rather strange footage of Michele Bachmann began circulating over the weekend in which she appears at first glance—and with the help of the uploader's captions!—to be asking the crowd, "Who likes white people?" Hot dog, what a racist that Michele Bachmann is! But the video, like 99% of the Internet, is a cruel hoax.
There have been several chapters in the still-extremely-early 2012 presidential race. There was the time that Newt Gingrich's smarts and policy chops was going to shake up the contest. That ended. There was the time Herman Cain's business acumen and tea party ties were going to be a real factor in the race. That didn't work out. Then, of course, there was Donald Trump. Remember him?
