America's favorite presidential candidate, Michele Bachmann, is the subject of what appears to be a hit piece today! Various former aides tell the Daily Caller that she suffers from "stress-induced medical episodes" that we on Planet Earth know as "migraines." But not just any migraines! Destructive, hospitalizing migraines that occur about once a week and can leave her "incapacitated" for days at a time. Ouch! Sounds miserable. But should it matter, for our electoral purposes?

While two Real Time with Bill Maher panel guests got flak today for making sexually charged jokes about Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum on last night's show, it seems nobody batted an eye at the anti-Bachmann, anti-Sarah Palin rant with which Maher ended the broadcast. Until now, at least.

Rep. Michele Bachmann's "psychologist" husband, Marcus Bachmann, is apparently starting to feel like a liability to his wife's political prospects. Either that, or he just likes talking to the papers! Because he's now going on the record to defend his Christian counseling business against charges of being anti-gay.

Years ago, Michele Bachmann's openly gay stepsister Helen LaFave protested at one of Michele's anti-gay rallies. Since then, Helen has kept a low profile, but she continues to support liberal politics: Salon's Natasha Lennard recently uncovered a video of Helen and long-term partner Nia Wronski attending Obama's 2009 presidential inauguration. The duo got their tickets "through one of the congresspeople" and drove for two days "with six family members."

God bless Michele Bachmann. Really, this is not a "slam" of her! It is just a funny video of her saying "chutzpah" with unusual aggression. CHOOTS-pah. CHOOTS-pah. You coastie snobs may laugh, but just try pronouncing a popular flappyhead Minnesota-Norwegian word. Try "pop." PAHEP. PAOYP. You can't do it. You can't!

After tonight's Daily Show, we can add Jon Stewart to the ever-growing list of people who can't help but wonder if Marcus Bachmann, husband to Republican presidential candidate Michele and runner of a pray-the-gay-away facility, may be a little light in the loafers. Video of Stewart's segment this evening is above.

We know where Michele Bachmann stands on heterosexuality: She's very for it! At least according to the binding contract she recently signed with Jesus, in which marriage was explicitly defined as being "between one man and one woman." We also know where her husband, Marcus Bachmann, falls on the topic of homosexuality: He's firmly against it! So against, in fact, that he runs a small gay exorcism business, despite he himself being seemingly possessed by the demonic spirit of an off-duty drag queen named Big Mama. But where does Mrs. Bachmann stand on homosexuality?

Last week, GOP presidential hopefuls Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann signed a document called "The Marriage Vow" without realizing that it contained, among other things, offensive language about slavery. But as Stephen Colbert pointed out on tonight's Report, Bachmann's past makes it clear that she believes almost anything can be considered enslavement. Video of the segment is above.

As his congresswoman wife Michele continues to make progress in her terrifying death march toward Washington, Marcus Bachmann has become a focus of the ever-curious media, and the things we've found out about him have been a bit unsettling, like the fact that he runs one of those pray-the-gay-away facilities.

An Iowa organization called The Family Leader has drawn up an extremely well detailed pledge for the Republican presidential candidates to sign called "The Marriage Vow." According to the group's CEO, the new pledge is "vitally necessary because the sanctity of marriage is in crisis and leadership is desperately needed." And now Michele Bachmann has become the first candidate to sign it! So what's in this beaut of a pledge?

You may not be surprised to hear that in one of the least productive Congresses in history, things move at a fast enough pace to confuse many members of Congress into voting the wrong way, more frequently than ever. Welcome to the latest phase of American Exceptionalism, in which no one really knows what's happening at any time.

Tonight, Stephen Colbert opened the Report with a segment about Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann and her kindred spirit, gay rapist clown serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

Are the sharks out for Michele Bachmann, or what? Little miscues that offer a quick, innocent laugh at first become over-reported multiday scandals about how she's the stupidest person alive. She loves serial killers, what an idiot! And now one of Hollywood's prominent songwriters won't even let her use a song she likes, at events. The self-victimizing fundraising letters write themselves.

Michele Bachmann officially launched her presidential campaign yesterday in Waterloo, Iowa by accidentally comparing herself to John Wayne Gacy, the infamous gay rapist clown serial killer from the '70s. How serious was Bachmann's gaffe? According to David Letterman, who spent four minutes on Monday's Late Show obsessing over it before giving Bachmann a rambling bit of unsolicited campaign advice, very serious!

Today we saw an amusing clip of presidential candidate/jewel-eyed angel of vengeance Michele Bachmann (R-Land of the Lost) inadvertently comparing herself to John Wayne Gacy, prolific rapist and serial killer. Terrific! Man, she's always making mistakes, isn't she? She is, says one commenter.

Kicking off her presidential campaign in Waterloo, Iowa, Michele Bachmann explained the geographic significance to Fox News: "Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too."

We never thought we'd see the day. But sure enough, here's Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, clad in her most confidently shiny suit, officially launching her presidential campaign in her native town of Waterloo, Iowa today. Will she be our new, shiny president come January 2013? If it can't be Donald Trump, then sure, this'll do.

Surging future presidentrix of America Michele Bachmann has got a well-documented problem with homosexuals, because they trap her in restrooms all the time. But on the subject of same-sex marriage, she sounds surprisingly reasonable. Maybe that gay glitter was cut with mood stabilizers?

Republican presidential candidate and history buff Michele Bachmann has signed a deal with Penguin Group USA to write a memoir. It will be called America of Heart or Rogueish Goer or My Father's Flag or The Coming Battle With the Mormon Horde or somesuch and come out this fall, roughly one year before her election as 45th president of the United States.

Tonight in New Hampshire, seven Republican candidates for president in 2012—including Michele Bachmann who just announced her candidacy—shared the stage for the primary season's first debate. The showdown was moderated by CNN's John King, who asked tough questions like "American Idol or Dancing with the Stars?"