One of the perils of working at a gossip site in the age of internet tipsters is that you never know whether you are corresponding with a person who is about to unmask the next Craigslist Congressman—or a demented pervert who is masturbating while describing an imaginary encounter with a starlet.

Scarlett hates Blake for monopolizing Ryan Reynolds. Brad Pitt counsels a suicidal actor. Kourtney Kardashian isn't getting married. Tareq Salahi wants to canoodle Kate Gosselin. Friday gossip stands in a circle and chants "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

The city is currently seized by the glamorous thrall of New York Fashion Week. Here are some of the best images from the day, like this model being tortured by some strange beauty ritual at Farah Angsana. [Image via Getty]

"You're gonna shit a brick when you see this," Miley's friend says while filming her smoking a bong. Julia Roberts attacks a paparazzo. Bieber takes a Disney star on a date. Rabbits turn James Franco on. TGIFriday gossip.

We've been dreading it for a long time. And now she might get her own TV show. Repent! Also today: Some news about Conan's new show, some news about other TBS shows, some news about Kelly Ripa, and you're Dushku'd.

Welcome to Monday's gossip roundup, in which we gather every horrifying new detail about Speidi's sex tape (blackmail! ultimatums!) and how it inspires Snooki's ex. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt wants to murder BP executives and LiLo's lawyer heads back to court.

[Gossip Girl star Michelle Trachtenberg gets her nails done. Emmy Rossum accompanied her to the nail salon, apparently realizing that two B-listers equals one A-list photo op. Image via WENN.]

Here is a video of my future wife, Michelle Trachtenberg, rapping along to "Shake it for Daddy" by Robin Thicke, with a brief cameo by James Van Der Beek. Back off Dawson, she's mine!

Child Services storms Chateau Jackson when Jermaine's kid puts Blanket's life in peril. Megan Fox announces she's only slept with two men. Jolie and Franco are shoo-ins for based-on-a-true-story suicidal artist roles. Wednesday gossip is full of surprises.

Did Brangelina's presence make the Saints win, or was it Kim Kardashian's tight end? Beyonce falls during a concert, Dr. Murray makes a creepy visit to Jacko's tomb, Carrie Prejean gets engaged. Monday gossip is done preserving its purity.

We were busy watching all the jokes about Leno last night to make it to Gossip Girl costume designer Eric Daman's book launch party. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern never lets us down. Here's her report.

• Lindsay Lohan is having another bad week. At the Whitney Museum of Art Gala last night, the "jelly-legged actress" had to hold on to a fence for "dear life" as she "stumbled out of the glitzy bash." But Mischa Barton was looking surprisingly put together, so that's good news, right? [Daily Mail, Sun]
• It's been a few years since Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi split up, but the author is still obsessed with his ex-wife and talks about her "day and night," says Rushdie's most recent girlfriend, Broadway actress Pia Glenn. She also says Rushdie broke things off with her via email and may have been just using her for sex. [P6]
• Ali Wise, the socialite/ex-Dolce & Gabbana publicist who appeared in court yesterday on charges she hacked into a rival's phone, won't have to mount her defense until January. But there are four women now claiming Wise broke into their voicemail accounts now, not just one. [NYDN]

Gwyneth Paltrow getting into her SUV in the Hamptons ... Calvin Klein walking in the West Village ... Elle Macpherson walking in Tribeca ... Antonio Sabato Jr. leaving his hotel ... Michelle Trachtenberg standing outside her trailer on the set of Gossip Girl, and later posing for photographers with an umbrella ... Jon Hamm leaving ABC Studios ... Eric Bana walking out of the Trump International Hotel with wife Rebecca Gleeson ... Justin Long on the set of Going the Distance ... Rihanna partying at Greenhouse in SoHo... and Ashton Kutcher standing on the set of A Beautiful Life downtown.

[Submit your own Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] July 28th @ 9:30pm: Partied to a performance from Taylor Momsen's band, The Pretty Reckless, with Ed Westwick, Chace Crawford, Jessica Szhor, Matthew Settle, Connor Paolo, and Michelle Trachtenberg for her Sweet 16!

Olivia Palermo sipping a drink in the Village ... Keri Russell pushing son River in a stroller in Brooklyn ... Michelle Trachtenberg shopping with a friend in SoHo ... Rihanna grabbing a bite at the Golden Krust Caribbean Bakery around Herald Square ... Diane Keaton shooting scenes for Morning Glory in Battery Park ... Hugh Jackman carrying son Oscar on his back in SoHo ... Katy Perry flipping off photographers in front of the Standard Hotel ... Blake Lively walking to the Gossip Girl set in Midtown ... Robert Pattinson hugging a fan at JFK ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon posing for pictures in Tribeca ... and Russell Brand walking in SoHo with an unidentified female.

Olivia Palermo walking in the West Village ... Anna Wintour leaving Monkey Bar ... Hayden Panettiere leaving her hotel ... Chris Meloni eating at Pastis ... Pierce Brosnan carrying coffee on the set of Remember Me in Queens ... Kristin Cavallari arriving at MTV's studios ... Michelle Trachtenberg talking on her cell phone in the meatpacking district ... Wentworth Miller and Mariska Hargitay shooting scenes for Law and Order: SVU ... Columnist George F. Will having lunch with a young blonde woman at Extra Virgin in the West Village ... and Taylor Momsen sipping Diet Coke on the set of Gossip Girl.

Ashlee Simpson got drunk at a party and made a spectacle of herself by screaming at Pete Wentz's ex Michelle Trachtenberg, Brad Pitt shares hygiene secrets, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush marriage rumors swirl, and Chris Pine dumped Audrina Patridge.

Ashley Olsen getting out of an SUV in Soho ... Orlando Bloom walking downtown ... Kim Kardashian leaving her hotel ... Michelle Trachtenberg drinking coffee on the set of Gossip Girl ... Uma Thurman covering her face with a magazine in the Village ... Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze walking together in Brooklyn ... Gerard Butler meeting up with friends in the meatpacking district ... Matthew Broderick taking son James to school in the West Village ... Matt Lauer walking down the street with a sling on his arm ... Whitney Port eating lunch at Philip Marie on Hudson Street ... Katy Perry shopping downtown ... Willem Dafoe dropping off mail in the West Village ... Paula Deen going into the Time Warner Center ... Kate Winslet walking by herself ... and Spike Lee and Bill Murray standing outside the Tribeca Grill.

Zac Efron continues his reign of mild terror, Freida Pinto is cool beans, George Lopez gets a talk show (shudder), and two fine actors will play two fine politicians in a flick about the Clintons.

Here are some images from today's New York Fashion Week events. We have eye makeup and Anna Wintour and the always-demure Paris Hilton. Enjoy the small gallery after the jump.