"You're gonna shit a brick when you see this," Miley's friend says while filming her smoking a bong. Julia Roberts attacks a paparazzo. Bieber takes a Disney star on a date. Rabbits turn James Franco on. TGIFriday gossip.

Justin Bieber toys with the outward indicators of sexual maturity. Jermaine Jackson owes $100,000 in child support. Lady says she didn't boink Eva Longoria's husband. Aretha Franklin goes under the knife. TGIFriday gossip.

The picture at the center of Miley Cyrus' first nude picture scandal is very likely fake. It first emerged from the depths of the Internet message board 4chan, where horny sleuths created this elaborate diagram to prove its authenticity.

An unidentifiable, maybe-Miley naked picture circulates the internet. Eva and Tony reunite for lunch. Jessica Simpson proves she's not pregnant by doing shots. Jon Gosselin gets a job. Thursday gossip is old for its age.

You see, that Saturday Night Live impression isn't so cruel after all—it seems that "cool" and "awesome" are among the teen queen's favorite words. Inside, check out a supercut of Miley's stellar vocabulary.

It's true. We know where and when the amazing ceremony will be. Will you be invited?? Sit by your mailbox and wait! Also today: Miley Cyrus dares to be a teenager, Sandra Bullock is accosted, and Bristol Palin news.

Miley's eighteenth birthday party features bumping and grinding with her mom. Jay-Z shot his brother at age 12. Charlie Sheen's hooker gives an interview. Lenny Dykstra's dog could get repossessed. Just another manic Monday gossip roundup.

The American Music Awards—aka the Grammys for tweens—are underway in Los Angeles. Miley Cyrus just performed (screeched?) a Stevie Nicks-esque ballad called "Forgiveness and Love" in a dark, flowing Stevie Nicks-esque dress. She did not do too well.

David Arquette is looking for love in all the booziest places. Tony Parker says he wanted to divorce Eva, too. Miley Cyrus meets a boy. TGIFriday gossip.

On Fox & Friends, Bret Michaels reports he didn't bang Miley Cyrus' mom. He promises he was only hanging out with Miley, not her mom. He's not having an affair, he's just hanging a lot with a teenage girl.

A poll on TVGuide.com is asking the public to vote on the best teen role model on TV. Bristol Palin only has 4% of the vote just behind that hussy Miley Cyrus. iCarly's Miranda Cosgrove leads by a wide margin.

Being something of an expert in the business, Lindsay Lohan's mom thinks she should open a chain of rehab centers. Also today: Kelly Bensimon can't stop embarrassing her kids, Joe Francis happily civilizes his union, and some Twilight news.

Lil Wayne can't drink for three years—but what's in that glass next to him? Miley Cyrus was also caught drinking (sort of) illegally. Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are not getting engaged. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is a wrap.

That's what the movies would have us believe, anyway. Also today: HBO goes on a comedy-ordering bonanza, Terra Nova is not on terra firma, neither is Law & Order, and a new reality show actually sounds... good?

Someone needs to start hiding the tabloids from Wendy Williams. She freaked out when she found out that Miley's Mom was allegedly having an affair with Bret Michaels and gave Miley Cyrus permission to get drunk on her eighteenth birthday.

According to Us Weekly, Tish Cyrus—mother of famed tween Miley—had an affair with Poison singer Bret Michaels. I don't know what to think about that, except I wonder why she didn't have to go through Rock of Love.

[Miley Cyrus, mother Tish, and little sister Noah—the ten-year-old with the visible bra—resemble another Hollywood family consisting of a starlet, a cool mom, and a chronically overshadowed little sister. Image via INF, click to enlarge.]

Shia LaBeouf: feuding with Frankie Muniz. The Kardashians are moving to New York. Miley Cyrus wore short shorts to a 21+ club. Britney spears is sued by another maid. Saturday Gossip Roundup is having a flashback.

In the aftermath of Lady Gaga's meaty VMA performance, erotic revelations. Kanye West is a puddle of sorrow. Robert DeNiro cures boner problems with Tiger Balm. Andre Leon Talley falls off a bench. Monday gossip starts the week right.

Taylor Swift will break her year-long song silence about Kanye West tonight. 50 cent tweeted some homophobic stuff. John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston: Spotted together! Sunday's Gossip Roundup was invited to many Fashion Week parties but chose not to go.